will i am's delayed diary

*TeLL mE...Mr.sAnDmAn...* Swiped from *a DuSty FaiRyTaLe* . I've been getting a lot of weird dreams lately. Nothing as eleborate as Cheryl's Hollywood dreams, but still worthy of discussion. Please translate them for me if you have the knack for it: Work-related. Kind of. I was riding pillion on my partner company's MD's bicycle. A rotund Myanmarese with a fake smile that would make any salesman jealous. It wasn't a ride in the park, mind you. Think extreme sports. In dreamland, he can really bawak that basikal . He was bouncing around and practically breakdancing with it! A more recent dream involved me being a rodent. Not "Ratatouille", but the "Mousetrap" variety. I was scurrying around, hiding under beds and cupboards. But the thing was I could see myself as a man, but others saw me as a mouse. I dreamt that two fellow bloggers put their hands down my jeans trying to guess what underpants I was wearing on that day. :P The latest epi...

Beer Bust (old school style) Swiped from Orange_Beard . PUNCAK JALIL - At 11:30pm, a vacant house in Taman Puncak Jalil was raided by more than 15 plain clothes policemen and several uniformed police personnel. The team brought out 5 Indonesians, believed to be without valid immigration documents. After a search of the immediate surrounding areas, the police left with the suspects in a police truck and 4 civilian vehicles. After the arrest, the neighbourhood heave a collective sigh of relief. I'm definitely no journalist, so I'll revert back to my usual style. Well, on Friday night when my mother was out to fetch me from the LRT station, she told me that the empty house opposite mine was being renovated. True enough, on arriving home, I found the windows and sliding door to be missing. Nothing amiss there, except for the fact that the construction workers were staying there at the house, which I think is prohibited by the law. My mum was worried as 2 of them were frequ...

HairClip Swiped from williamnyk . My battle with acne is far from over. It saddens me to have a T-zone that is likened to a war zone with whiteheads all entrenched in my skin. Dry on the outside, super oily on the inside. My sebaceous glands are on overdrive. Chemical engineers would marvel at them and try to incorporate the secrets into their plant designs. The topography is as bumpy as ever. Sigh. My adolesence is catching up with me, sans the growth spurt, hormone overdose and the puppy love. At the behest of my beautician, Janet, I have also started to clip up my hair to keep my hair from my face. I can very well imagine myself carrying a basket and walking into a wet market like that, with a limp, hand-rolled ciggie on my lip. Time to consult my hairstylist, KK whether there are any alternatives for me. Time to snip-snip perhaps. Arghhh... Deliver me from acne! The power of Christ compels you! :P

Random Swiped from williamnyk . Posts from Ryan and Ah Bong about surreptitious picture-taking has inspired me to come up with my own. Here are just a few from my Samsung SGH-X700. No lense cover. Conveniently located lense for suspicion-free photo-snapping. No worry about flash and shutter sound, hehe. Cloclwise from the top-left corner: Fabio - Seen him a couple of times on the Star LRT. Buffed. Tanned. Long, lustrous hair that he usually leaves freely-flowing on one side of his shoulder. He just reminds me of Fabio. JDI - A cute tourist from dunno where. His T-shirt reads "Just Did It". BTS - Random cute but pouty guy I sometimes meet on the train when I leave the office past 9:00pm. Love his hair Future - A woman whom I feel looks like my colleague, YY in 20 years. Freaky. The face, the hair. Uncanny. I can just imagine.

Pavilioncollage1 Swiped from williamnyk . I left UM more than 4 years ago. 4 years of exam-free bliss. I never thought of furthering my education. No more studying, no more taking tests. However, I broke that welcomed dry spell on Saturday. Took my first Microsoft Certified Professional Exam. 70-431 Microsoft SQL Server 2005 Implementation and Maintenance. Fully paid for by my company. High time I get something instead of "on-the-job" training. The absence of monetary bonuses is starting to be too glaring too. I had less than 20 days to digest 21 chapters. Each day after knocking off at 9pm, I get home, have my dinner, shower and study before going to bed. It's all a blur really. The pdf document I read doesn't quite make sense to my sleep-deprived noggin'. And yet I press on. The lesson and chapter summaries were my friends. Come saturday, more than 10 chapters had left me. Or it never stayed with me in the first place. Oh well. Made my way to the test c...

collagePavilion Swiped from williamnyk . "Where iss it? Where iss it? Lossst it is, my precious, lost, lost! Curse us and crush us, my precious is lost!" Yes, dear friends, I've gone all Gollum on ya. I have lost something truly precious. Of highly sentimental value. A gold ring. An old ring with faded markings. I had worn it for nearly the past year. It had not left my index finger even for a swim. No it does not have fiery letters on it, nor does it make me invisible in broad daylight ( not peeping tom cool, but shoplifting cool ). So before you think I'll go all ash nazg gimbatul on you, let me just say that I lost my late father's ring. On my maiden visit to The Pavilion , I had slipped the ring onto my ring finger as my index finger were getting a little chubby. After lunch at KFC, I had noticed that my ring was gone and no, it didn't slip off when I was washing my hands. Sigh. Didn't report it to lost and found as Lex suggested, but perhaps...

Here's to you ConanC ... Gal: Hey, I dropped a buffalo wing down my cleavage. Care to help me fish it out? Guy: Are your arms paralyzed or something? Gal: But my hands are all sticky and I can't reach far enough... Guy: Those are hardly double Ds. I'm sure you can manage an "area sweep" by yourself. Gal: Fag! Guy: Talk to the hand, coz the face ain't listenin'...

collage1 Swiped from williamnyk . As I promised in my last post , here are the details of my 27th birthday. Definitely a year to remember. The first time I celebrated my birthday with KH. The first time I felt that I was blessed with an abundance of good friends and company ( though pointedly missing JM ). This year's birthday was basically a 3-phase affair-- Pre, Exact and Post. The Pre-Birthday was celebrated with KH since that was the only suitable window for us to meet and the details can be found here . However, on the Sunday before the 9th, the bloggers also threw me a lunch party at Tony Roma's , Sunway Pyramid. A super-boisterous group of 10, though we did not have QueerR and Adrien in our midst. It was entertaining having Alvin and Sam in the group. Finally had a chance to try their ribs. Not bad really, but it really isn't very wallet-friendly. Sharing with SK, I was able to sample their BBQ chicken ( amazingly good, so Kenny Rogers can go tanam jagung ) and Blue ...

Troubled Teen Swiped from CherryVega . Sungei Wang Plaza is the centre of all weirdness in KL. Everyday, it awakens and through some wicked means, it calls to all weirdness around the city. It calls its priestesses, the la la mui and its priests, the la la chai . Under the thrall of Sungei Wang, they don their robes of station to praise and worship the La La spirit. Just the other day, I was lucky enough to meet two new female initiates, Sentul Sally and Jinjang Jane . Barely of age ( but I doubt they're maidens ), they were travelling to Hang Tuah via Star LRT. Already in full riualistic vestments, they attracted every eye in the train. Unkempt, stringy hair with a high fringe -- to better receive missives from the His La La-ness. Silver eyeshadow under the eyes dripping to the middle of the cheeks -- they cry for our normalcy. Nose ring -- to signify those who are touched. Two maraccas hanging through a lanyard around the neck -- holy symbols. Petticoats -- they were ...

IMG_6457 Swiped from williamnyk . Perfect timing to do this meme since I just celebrated my birthday. In my family, birthdays are always celebrated. No flashy parties ( but there is photo evidence of my extravagant first birthday party. The whole neighbourhood was there and I even got a cake shaped like the numeral one. Spoiled, hor? ), but always a decent meal at home or in a restaurant somewhere if mum mogok . Presents are rare, but I sometimes get lucky ( was crazy over Lego and Garfield back then! ). Since my brother was away in boarding school, I could always count on him sending me a birthday card. Birthdays started becoming a ritualistic affair ever since I got hooked with my best buds JM and SK. We would celebrate birthdays for each other and the birthday is a must! So far, we have had many good times together and birthdays are always an excuse to splurge a little. When Is Your Birthday? 9th of October 1980. Thurday's child has far to go... so the song goes... How Old Are ...

When there is nothing to say, When you're feeling down, Know that I care for you night and day, And want to reverse that frown. I know I can't be there physically for now, but do know that I'm there for you in spirit and whatever means our human mind has created. And if that still is not enough, do not cry alone in the dark. For I will cry too. For myself and for us. I wish I can tame your sorrows and mend your heart. But if I fail, I hope, I hope, I hope... that love does not fail. I wish upon you all the peace I can give you, baby.

Shell of Ketupat – Happy Eid ul-Fitr 1428H Swiped from Ikhlasul Amal . "Akum abg.,ani mtk maf jgn mrh gan kak fiza lg.,ani ba yg slh kmarin..Klu nk mrh,mrhla ani.kakak n bke posa gan abg kmarin tp ani yg rosakkn plan 2.. Tp ani x sgaja..." My colleague received this due to a mistake the other day and she remarked, "What language is this?!" Pengz. She actually thought it was a foreign language. Anyway, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Maaf Zahir dan Batin to muslim friends everywhere with special dedication to Sam and Adrien. To my non-muslim friends, Apa raya-raya? Beria-ia. Puasa pun tidak! . Enjoy your holidays.... =)

Day 95: Happy Birthday to Me. Swiped from SaylaMarz . Memes are going around the blogosphere like sniffles in flu season these days. I've been tagged thrice already! I wonder what's the blogosphere's equivalent of Vitamin C... Anyway, since I've caught Janvier's germs, might as well let it take it's course. Truth be told, I don't really think of these things, but I think Mother Theresa once said that a life that you do not reflect on is not worth living.... so here: Meeting my first love... and hopefully the last Being the late bloomer that I am, I did not have any crushes, puppy love in my teenage years. I would like to blame my parents for instilling the whole "study first, love later" mantra, but truth be told, I was just too repressed and afraid to love. When KH came into the picture, everything changed. My walls melted away. My heart finally opened. I began to "feel". Never had I known how good it felt and also how bad it h...

IMG_6256 Swiped from williamnyk . On Sunday, I had to leave KH alone in the morning since I had went out to celebrate mass with SK and my mum. To my delight, KH managed to keep busy by reading a newly-procured graphic novel, Stardust . By the time I got home, it was alreday nearly noon, and we ourselves ready to go out to The Curve. We had our lunch at Paddington's Pancake House which was featured on QueerR's blog some time ago. I give the place a thumbs up. Very good savoury pancakes. Simple, yet satisfying. I ordered the Paddington Dollars-- bite-sized pancakes with mini sausages, ham, cherry tomatoes, lettuce and guacamole. An excellent combination of pancakes, meat and greens. A hearty and healthy meal in my opinion! Unfortunately, no photos. So unlike me. For some reason, during lunch, our conversation veered towards religion and due to some misunderstanding on my part, I kinda got VERY miffed at something KH said. ( Note to self: Religion isn't quite the subject to b...

Young KL Singers 5th Anniversary Concert Swiped from Matt Marzuki . As I mentioned a few posts back, KH was recently back in KL for a visit. A timely visit as I was running low on my Lover-Substitute Pills ( perhaps Janvier can swipe me some without requiring a prescription ) and was just plain horny. :P. KH was back mainly to celebrate my birthday early as it would not be possible for us to meet due to scheduling conflicts. Arriving on Friday night, SK and I picked KH up at the Sungai Besi Petronas and we ended up at Kuchai Lama for some mamak food at Kinrara Curry House . All I can say is that the nasi lemak looks nicer than it tastes. KH crashed at SK's place, but her housemate's presence kinda put a damper on KH and I's more questionable activities. Just a few stolen kisses and I had to leave... The next morning, SK, KH and I drove to Restoran Mexim for some dim sum . Supposedly famous. The other things I would recommend are the dim sum , century egg porridge...

101 Swiped from jeansman . I swiped this excellent post from bibikNyonya . Just had to give my 2 cents-worth: 1. You unwrap gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping (and especially those ribbons). ~ TRUE! But not so much the ribbons. 2. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has move out. ~ TRUE! But maybe just 2 dozens. 3. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times. ~ FALSE! But a thermos is a must if you're lying in a ward somewhere. 4. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers.You use the grocery bags to hold garbage. ~ TRUE! Recycle mah. 5. You hate to waste food :- a ) Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them. (Your mom will give a lecture about starving kids in Africa) ~ TRUE! Are you gonna finish that? b ) You have Tupperware in your fridge with thre...

DSC00634 Swiped from williamnyk . I recently encountered the heaviest egg tarts I have ever known in my life. It was really hefty. When I held it in my hand, I practically felt like one of the Beagle Brothers with a file-filled cake. I don't know what they put in it, but the density is really astounding ( could very well be some secret process that allows them to cram five eggs into one egg tart filling ). However, that's not the only impressive thing about it-- the address of the bakery really made me look twice. Hehe. Jalan Cockman Definitely a must-visit on my next trip to Ipoh! I wonder about the cocksmanship of the people there... hmmm...

Red Red Lantern Hanging up High ~Happy Mid－Autumn Festival大紅燈籠高高掛～中秋節快樂 Swiped from Pisces Romance (Away 3 Days) . Note: This post is as stale as post-festival mooncakes with a 50% discount! For some reason, mooncakes don't do it for me anymore. There is no craving. I used to love it. Pick at the fragrant egg yolk hidden in the sweet filling. Savouring each cholesterol-laden bite. Now, I normally only eat one piece ( one eight of a mooncake ) and down it with copious amounts of hot tea. It just shuts down my digestive system. Some kind of reflex action. Maybe because today's mooncakes are too rich. The paste too smooth ( just like cakes, the moister it is, the more butter it contains, so the smoother the paste, the more oil was used ) and sweet. And the ridiculous new flavours. Fusion. East meets West. Moon Goddess meets Courtney Love. It's just plain weird. I still would prefer the traditional varieties. Make mine mild and light. Like those agar-agar mooncakes. S...