will i am's delayed diary

Ouchie! , swiped from williamnyk on Flickr. Pretty pair of Andrew Christian briefs right? KH got it for me last year . Gotta love the bright colour and contrast fluting. Unfortunately, it's not quite comfortable. "Nice to see, nice to hold, once worn, not as comfy as I was told!" It kinda rides up at the crotch and bites into my inner thighs. Think it's because the cutting is too narrow at the inseam ( or God forbid my thighs are too fat! ). Blegh. Bad design. Can consider cumming on this pair and putting it up for sale! Hentai! Any takers? :P

Badminton , swiped from williamnyk on Flickr. How would you like to have this table-top calendar? For six months in a year, you can stare at the exact same topless picture of our beloved Dato' Lee Chong Wei. Please Give Me Lin Dan.

Filler post: Where gay porn meets music video.

Taxi driver awaits brisk business during lunch hour , swiped from teddy-rised on Flickr. Ever since I was reporting to work at KPMG Tower and Jalan Dungun, I had to take the taxi in the morning. I would drive out to Old Klang Road and hail a cab there. Mum would then drive home. And it's so very sad that just to get there, I have waste at least thirty minutes braving the jam on Lebuhraya Bukit Jalil. But that's just the first leg. OKR traffic ain't pretty too. Both directions can be shitty. I have tried it all and have been entertained by all sorts of taxi drivers. Some keep quiet. Some talk your ears off. Either way, I would still fiddle with my phone looking at skanky photos on Instagram while the taxi driver does his job. So far, I have learnt that: Taxi drivers who rent the taxi and the permit from taxi companies have to pay MYR45 a day For those who already own the car just need to pay MYR17 for the permit To grease the wheels to get your own permit? Just pay M...

Recently watched "Seven Days in Heaven" , an artsy Taiwanese movie that pokes fun at death and funerals. It's based on an award-winning short story by Essay Liu ( what a name ) about the seven days mourning ritual. In the story, a pair of siblings go home to settle their father's funeral under the watchful eye of the village's funeral director cum Taoist priest. Along for the ride is their big-city cousin who records everything with a camcorder, and is also the eye candy of the movie! Some real funny scenes in the movie, for example showing professional mourners who grind their teeth in the dust and cry one second, and stand up to freshen up and enjoy an istonic drink the next. The daughter is also portrayed brushing her teeth beside the coffin because it was an auspicious time to mourn according to the Taoist priest. LOL. In another scene, the local politician is seen donating two huge towers of canned drinks for the funeral only to later see the drinks explode...

Dettol , swiped from nickwheeleroz on Flickr. Observation: I have a colleague who smells strongly of Dettol. Hypothesis: He gargles with undiluted Dettol every morning He soaks his clothes with Dettol He uses Eau de Dettol ... ... Conclusion: ?

Hi guys and gals! I'm back with a long overdue entry on MRT cuties. It's been dry season on the LRT lately, so luckily KH has some goodies for all of you. Quite the norm these days for commuters to be looking at their smart phones for the whole journey. No more staring into space and digging our noses. Even I can't keep my iPhone in my pocket for more than two minutes. I would be thinking that there's some kind of notification or something. So most of the time, I'd be checking my inbox, looking at FB, playing Tiny Tower ( a bit malas these days ) and checking out photos on Instagram ( read: looking for skanky pics ). I rarely stuff my ears and listen to music. Has been ages since I updated my playlist too. Any recommendations for my "On the Go" playlist? Oh yeah, and one more thing. Just look at those two guys. They represent two categories of commuters. The guy on the left loves his bag more than his back, so he keeps it slung. The guy on the right doesn...

Waiting , swiped from williamnyk on Flickr. This kid is all alone waiting for his grandmother outside a shop in OUG. Guess what his grandmother was doing: Buying groceries in the Chinese medicine hall Smoking a ciggie Taking a dump Buying Magnum 4D Playing mahjong Getting her hair done Gossiping with her gaggle of friends Tapau-ing breakfast Truth be told, kids shouldn't be left all alone. Some goldfish uncle could just come by and spirit the kid away. I have heard of horror stories in Disneyland HK where a parent lets her kid go into the loo alone. For a long time, the kid did not come out, so the mother went in to look. In her panic, she asked her other child to wait outside. When she came out empty handed, she found that her other kid had also disappeared... Never let kids out of your sight!

Snow Lotus , swiped from williamnyk on Flickr. Home-made enzymes are all the rage these days. Here's a documented effort at producing some snow lotus enzyme. My colleague gave me a box of those jelly-like bits as a starter kit. They're lighter than they look and will float. Smelled very much like those oils used by Chinese bone-setters. Most probably alcohol from the earlier fermentation. According to wikipedia , the snow lotus is a type of plant that is traditionally used to relieve inflammation. I don't see how the jelly corresponds to any part of the plant. To kickstart the process, one has to dilute five hundred grammes of brown sugar. Apparently, it only works with the usual brown sugar. Use any organic sugar and it fails. Too clean? Haha. Just dump the jelly into the diluted sugar with 1.5 litres of filtered water and leave it in a big glass jar for four days. Sounds simple right? NOT. My mother was complaining the whole time. The sugar is bloody hard to dilute in co...

Not exactly a great entry for "Damn You Auto Correct!" , but its passable I guess. For your information, Tampopo is a Japanese Restaurant in Singapore that serves one of the top ten best ramen in town. Also known for their tonkatsu and black pig varieties. Actually the most annoying this about iPhone's auto-correct is the fact that it will always turn my "muacks" into "muscle". And it never learns to accept "muacks". Ugh. So most of the time, we wish each other "muscle". Unfortunately it doesn't help me to gain any at all. :(. My arms are still spindly and my tummy happy. Oh well. So what's your most hated auto-correct word? Oh yeah, I'll be flying off to Brunei again tomorrow. Will be there till the 19th of August. Hopefully I will have the time and energy to blog during that period. See you when I see you.

Keluar , swiped from Ron-Dorothy on Flickr. Oops. A leftover post from my Europe trip. Something random about exit signs in the countries that I visited. Please take note that the photos are not my work. Click on them to visit the photographer's photostream on Flickr. This is just a post about my observations on public transport in Europe. :) London - Underground - Way Out Barcelona - TMB - Salida ( Spanish ) / Sortida ( Catalan ) Cologne - DB - Ausgang Paris - Metro - Sortie P.S.: The most common road name in Cologne is "Einbahnstraße". Hahaha. "One Way Road".

The Battle of the Envelopes ( coined by Finnegan ) has come to an end. Last week, I received a dozen business reply envelopes in an unmarked brown paper envelope. And they wrote my name wrongly. Omitted the "William". Ingat nama glamer ke? In my IC la...  So the battle has been won, but the war wages on. Until next year. Hehe.

He actually did it . She's pregnant. The child will come into this world in just a few weeks. Congratulations Mr. Angkasawan. Read the interview here .

Hi guys. My filler posts have run dry and I still have not found the time to write my next "European Exercise" episode. And I have yet to process the photos from France too! So you'll have to make do with this rare installment from MarketWhat(tm). Judging from this sexyback photo I took at the OUG Wet Market, do you think that this guy is gay? How many percent? Let the assessment begin!

Note: This post is to commemorate the MYR0.20 price increase for RON97 starting today. It now costs MYR2.70 per litre. The Shell Station at Bandar Kinrara 5B opened with much fanfare last last Saturday ( don't you love stale stories? ). Balloons. Flags. Pavilions. Loud music. Inane emcees. Stupid jokes. Police dog demonstrations. Cheerleaders. Live band. Amazing. I made a stop to pump some petrol and in the process was solicited by a girl in a short skirt to use V-Power 97. I just uh-huh-ed and went on my way. Fetched SK to my place. Was thinking of lunch when I suddenly remembered about the carnival at the petrol station. Free food. Yes, free food! So, mum, SK and I made our way there though it had started to rain. :P. Made our way to the food. A generous spread of nasi minyak , nasi lemak , beef rendang , ayam masak merah , ulam and dhaal . Then there was pau inti kelapa and fried anchovy sambal buns. On top of that, there were goodie bags, freebies and lucky draws! Impress...

Bring it on! Overheard at the OUG Wet Market: "Oh no! It's gonna rain. You better go find some shelter lest you get sick!" "Cheh! Sick ma sick lo. Sick ma go see doctor and MC lo." "But if you sick ma san fu lo. Not feel well." "Don't work I feel even better! No need to go office. No need to think! If sick, go Midvalley Megamall also can!!!" Got to love her point of view. :P

Sambal yang sedap? This is container full of sambal at Restoran Leong Ya Indah . Looks 'lovely' doesn't it? All immersed in oil. Went there with ChatMate some weeks back. At a glance, doesn't it look like the byproduct of an 'explosive' session on the porcelain throne?

This is my colleague's iPhone pouch ( before it was stolen by fucking snatch thieves, but that is not the topic of today's post ). According to her, it's a fish. But to me... just fold in the two fins and voila~ you get a dick head! "..........." Yes, yes... my mind is stuck in gear kuning . Can't really blame me la... the drought has been long and hard...

Chu Cheong Fun Swiped from williamnyk . Overheard at the Taman United Wet Market. All in the same morning. Scene 1: 10 year old kid sitting on the chu cheong fun seller's motorcycle. CCF Seller: Boy, you sleep alone ah? Boy: (nods his head) CCF Seller: You not scared meh? Later cat come and bite you how? Boy: (has the call-the-paedophile-police look in his eyes) Boy's Mother: (rushing over) Wei, don't teach my son yang bukan-bukan. CCF Seller: Aunty... Can't be too careful. Nowadays 10 years old also got watch XXX film lo! Scene 2: Two aunties having a chat at the kuih-muih stall and the Indonesian maid from the coffee shop brings her a cup of kopi-o Smoking Aunty: Hey, hey, you got boyfriend ah? Maid: (confused) Huh?! Smoking Aunty: 男朋友 ah... Maid: 没有! Smoking Aunty: Ahhh... I recommend a good man for you!!! Very good one! How old are you ah? Maid: 35 (quickly makes her getaway) Smoking Aunty: (telling her friend) Aiyah... 35 stil...

Anuar Zain for MStar Caught sight of this full page item on MStar , The Star's weekly Malay pullout. It featured Ziana Zain's kid brother ( still applicable now that he's over 40? ), Anuar Zain. For the benefit of my beh hiau Bahasa Melayu readers, the caption reads: "Anuar Zain: Selesa Tanpa Wanita" Yes folks, he's forty. Unmarried. Not bad looking. And most importantly, comfortable without women . If I were him and if I was straight ( choi, choi, choi! ), I would definitely feel uncomfortable with that statement emblazoned on a tabloid. Sounds too ghey kan ?