will i am's delayed diary

A client of mine in Brunei was very pissed with a bug in their mission-critical system. The problem was related to bad code on a poorly-maintained database that was shared by many others. My CEO got so pissed with the overall architecture that he convinced the client to let him carve it out. Once we got the green light, I was at the forefront of the internal resistance to the change. Since the owners of the problem were reluctant to do it, we had to drive it. I kept documenting all that was needed to be done, and circulated the proposed design for discussion. Most of the time, I was greeted with silence. I pushed on anyway. In the end, we got the owners to endorse the solution and implement it. We pushed it all the way to the UAT cycle where our client took their sweet time to test. They had already missed two so-called unmovable dates to sign-off, so when the third date came, it was firm. On the day I arrived in Brunei, even the items that could have been done weeks before were no...

For the second time, I was part of a task force to dissect the problems being faced by my client. What's the difference with the first time you may ask? The whole exercise was spearheaded by someone with different expertise and covered a broader scale. And of course, the ulterior motive was also different. The funny thing was, the first task force wasn't even closed yet, and here we were, part of another. Troublemakers coming in to 'save' the day. Anyway, the original schedule was two weeks, but we finished it in half the time. I was supposed to stay on anyway, but my CEO suddenly didn't like the idea of me being there. In my mind, its probably for strategic and budgetary reasons. I applied to get my ticket changed pretty late on Friday afternoon, so the ticketing department basically just ignored me. But my amazing GM actually managed to get things done. Believe it or not, I received my ticket after midnight. They must hate him so much. Since it was so late, my f...

During a work trip in Brunei, both my GM and CEO were both in the country. However, my GM left a day earlier, leaving me to entertain my CEO. His Friday was pretty much occupied with meetings with my client's MD, but I had to bring him out to dinner. By his choice, dinner was at Tamu Selera that night. Really a place for the locals where you get rickety wooden furniture covered with sticky vinyl covers. At first, it was kind of awkward. We didn't know what to say to each other. As we started tucking into the ayam penyet , he suddenly found that he could talk about his family with me. Just between us, we polished off three ayam penyet and one pecel lele , with three small bowls of fiery sambal . No wonder the grumpy lady forced me to buy a huge bottle iced lemon tea-- we really drank it till the last drop. When we stood up, we could really feel the oily, deep-fried stuff weighing heavily in our tummies. My CEO immediately informed the driver that we would be walking back...

According to Wikipedia , Brunei's national dish is ambuyat , a dish made from sago. Visually, its nothing much to look at. Basically, its a stretchy, starchy paste made from pouring hot water into sago. Traditionally, its eaten with a special bamboo utensil called the chandas ( looks like a long chopstick for kids because its joined at one end ).  Using the chandas , one rolls the ambuyat around the sticks. As you can imagine, its also tasteless, so its eaten with a wide variety of sauces ( cacah ) and side dishes to add flavour. Since its already so hard to pick up, imagine eating it. The secret is not to chew at all, just swallow it! Well I had the chance to try it at a sungkai buffet at Empire Hotel. For something that looks like the congealed leavings of a  bukkake  party which are best swallowed, it's a surprise that I didn't like it! Photo credits: Sabaheats James Du

As a follow up to the Brunei trip in April, I'm back there to begin some detailed work. Turns out that the client was convinced with my MD's goreng-goreng . Oh, great. By default, Bandar Seri Begawan is already quite laid back, but to visit during the fasting month is to experience things at a few notches lower. Best of all, Brunei's hudud -ness and Syariah -compliance has increased drastically in recent years with very obvious effects. During the fasting month, nobody is allowed to eat or drink in public, by law. It applies to Bruneians and visitors, regardless of religion. If you're caught, you could be fined up to a few thousand dollars, but it's usually around BND300. Food and beverage outlets are allowed to operate, but you just can't eat on premises. Feel free to pack your food and eat in some hidden location. At the hotel, my complimentary breakfast was served in a meeting room instead of the usual cafe. Not only that, a partition was placed at the ent...

Brunei o Brunei. I have such fond memories of it. Never thought I would return there after my last trip in 2011. Anyway, the pot of shit over there had been brewing for years and years, and the shit finally hit the fan in 2017. The client complained about everything and did it directly to my chairman. He finally got sick of it and mobilized a team to take a look at the pot of shit. As luck would have it, my boss was appointed to spearhead the whole exercise, and I was roped into the team. Ack. Long story short, we charged into the pot of shit, shook things up, rocked the boat, and came out of it with a lot of shitty details, that had to be documented. From then on, had to work my ass off completing the the damning report that shows how 'shitty' that pot of shit is. Had to engage all the internal teams for details but they weren't always forthcoming with information because they were either hiding something, or weren't part of the original implementation tea...

The Brunei Hotel , swiped from williamnyk on Flickr. Life in Brunei was more positive with a new lodging arrangement at The Brunei Hotel . According to my Project Manager, it was recently refurbished, so everything was spick and span. However, there are rumours of spirits on the third floor as it's a very old building. Judging from the condition of the abandoned building at the opposite side, I can imagine. The room comes with free laundry service ( four pieces a day ), daily newspaper, free canned soft drinks ( three a day ), decent WiFI and free breakfast ( MUCH better than the old hotel I stayed at ). Other attractions include transvestite escorts ( according to my colleagues, they look like a burly bunch ) and the nearby Tamu Kianggeh , a market by the side of a river. It makes working from 09:00am till 10:00pm everyday a little bit more bearable. At least I can walk back to the hotel, without having to arrange for the driver. Another plus is the fact that the place is just ...

Siap Sedia , swiped from zamanizubir on Flickr. I went to Brunei for a short trip of three days due to some office politics and screwed up resource allocation. As you can guess, it was a show-face kinda deal. Upon arrival at 09:30, a colleague picked me up from the airport and sent me to the office. However, I could not work on that Sunday morning because the Sultan's "Meet the People" session was being held at the parade grounds opposite my client's office. Why? It was done in conjunction with His Majesty's 65th birthday celebrations. Two snipers had went up the building to ensure His Majesty's safety. As a result, we had to loiter at a nearby restaurant to kill time. Bumped into an old uncle who stared at my colleague: Uncle: Where are you from har? (eyes bulging) Colleague: Malaysia. Uncle: I hate Malaysians! They are all bad people! Humph! He actually left his table for another that was further away. Wah. I suspect his ex-wife was Malaysian and h...

iPhone65AirAsia Swiped from williamnyk . "Suddenly Brunei", as Alexander the Gay likes to put it. Had to make a trip to Brunei for several wrap up meetings with my client's consultant. An annoying Hungarian guy. Ugh. In case you're wondering~ no, he's not hot. Anyway, SK was supposed to pick me up but somehow, her alarm didn't go off. Ended up half an hour late. Still, I had ample time. This time round, I discovered something new about AirAsia's self check-in system. One can now use one's iPhone. Log on. Key in the information and they will send you a 2D barcode. Bring it up on your iPhone and flash it at the scanner kiosk. A boarding pass will be printed for you. Not bad. Just had fifteen minutes to talk to SK before I went into the departure hall. The flight was uneventful except that it was quite full and people turned up right up till the last minute. Blegh. I wanted to fly on Sunday afternoon, but it was sold out, no doubt due to the end ...

Low Key Christmas To mark the fourth week of Advent, here's an example of Christmas cheer in Bandar Seri Begawan. The picture on the top was snapped at the lobby of my hotel. It suddenly appeared after I came back from work one day. They used a dingy white table cloth to set the display. And the snowman... looks like a bleached "Angry Bird" crossed with Eric Cartman. The picture below was snapped at Lucky Restaurant. They put the Christmas tree on the stage, right in between the dragon and phoenix carvings! Kinda like its under attack. That's all for Christmas over in Brunei. Hopefully all the Pinoys there will make things livelier.

Picture taken at Restoran Phongmun, Bandar Seri Begawan I can imagine belting out "Shanghai Bund" on this stage. If I did my wedding banquet there, I would most probably be wearing a red cheongsam with phoenix embroidery. Hehe.

Hotel -> Makan -> Bus! The most famous Japanese cuisine chain in BSB is undoubtedly "Excapade Sushi" . Why? It's the only one I know of. Hahaha. Anyway, ventured out to Gadong on a lazy Sunday to try it. The four walls of our room were starting to feel very stifling. My roommate and I walked out and tried waiting for the bus. We chatted. Skirted the red ants that had colonized the road shoulder. And waited. And waited. And waited. After fifteen minutes, we caught sight of the company car! With the project manager back in Malaysia, several colleagues had commandeered the Innova. They were going for a jam session. Erm. Okay. Whatever. They dropped us off at the place and we quickly headed upstairs to the restaurant. Quite a good crowd inside. Mostly Chinese. Sat down and looked at their menu. A good selection. Ended up ordering the salmon sashimi ( BND15 for 250gm, thick slices, but not exceptionally sweet ), butteryaki beef slices with asparagus ( the meat was ro...

Orange (365/340) Swiped from JenniPenni . Nearly everyday I'd eat an orange. BND0.50 per fruit. Usually sour, but I don't mind. Every time I cut it, my colleague would know as the sourness would permeate across the living room. Out of politeness I would offer him a piece, but he never accepted. I thought it was just about the taste, but then I found out that it was also about the sound! Some people just bite into a slice and eat some of the pulp, suck out the juices. On the other hand, I usually rip the flesh off the skin. Turns out that my roommate is averse to this sound! To him, unpeeling a pomelo has the same effect as running one's spiked cock ring across a blackboard! He immediately hugged himself and jumped off the couch. Such a major response. LOL. What's your 'favourite' sound? :D

School Timetable 1982 Swiped from DanieVDM . My client hired a well-known consultancy to manage the project. They are afraid that we might con them, hence they are there to keep tabs on things. Highly-paid to arrange meetings, help users note down problems, push things through and make sure everyone's life is difficult. So professional, forever asking about required timelines and documents. And yet, schedule clashes happen! My six day session got chopped down to six afternoon sessions just because some idiot overlooked it. And so, my time is wasted and we have to rush things. Plus, my users are pissed and I have to extend my stay. Ugh. Consultants .

surrounded Swiped from The Thinking Doll . This has been a turbulent fourth quarter. One would think that things would slow down when nearing the end of the year with vacations and holidays on everyone's minds. But the inverse seems to be happening. Work has been a bitch with things blowing up here and there. And one hundred and one clashes. The follow up with the legal issues for my late dad's estate suddenly cropped up. And with me in Brunei, worrying about mum at home. But I worry about SK the most, as she seems to be fighting several fronts at once. Hope she gets a break soon. Can only do so much over here. Sending all my love and prayers.