will i am's delayed diary

shouting-match Swiped from Shamsiye . Ever since my system went live some months back, the senior management have been pushing for some interfaces to other systems. The thing is, after attending several discussions, it is quite clear that the business aspect of the interface seems to be ridden with obstacles. For obvious reasons, everyone wants to protect their turf, hence, the less impact the better. Well, the customer project manager for my system is a very shrewd woman ( lets call her Mother ). Her background in consultancy firms, bulldozer strategies and buddy-buddy relationship with the COO make her a force to be reckoned with. This story takes place after around three or four meetings with the other system ( lets just call them Vendor X ). The ball had fallen back into my court: Mother: From the last meeting, it was said that Vendor X cannot interface to the Host, hence we shall look for alternative's at our end. (........... lots of ding-dong ............) (........

Well, my letter has finally been published in the October 2009 issue of Men's Health. As requested by Little Dove and the rest, here it is. Truth be told, the monsoon had me out of the swimming pool for a month now!!! Must swim today!!!

Mafia Swiped from Chud Tsankov Illustrations . The AG Report has come and will be gone again soon... Until next year when the Government can flaunt the fact that public funds are blatantly being "wasted" ( I guess something does not go to "waste" if it accidentally falls into someone's pocket ) and the Government basically implies that: 1) there's nothing that YOU can do about it ( unless you vote their ass out ) 2) there's nothing solid that THEY will do about it ( everyone's gotta eat, right? ) Insulting, right? And don't forget that there may be cases of "honest mistakes". Everyone makes mistakes right? Yeah. I call that incompetence. And so, we hear in the papers that the Government can take: They are: surcharge under the Financial Procedure Act 1957; disciplinary action under Chapter D of the General Orders Public Officer Regulations (Conduct and Discipline) 1993; civil or criminal action and investigations by police and

All Soul’s Day Swiped from limajulija . In case you did not know, November 1st is All Souls' Day . It is a Catholic Qing Ming of sorts, where Catholics commemorate the departed. And so, each year, my family converges in Teluk Intan, Perak to visit my late-dad's grave at the St. Anthony Church Cemetery. We departed from KL at 6:30am, with little Cyan obviously grumpy from being disturbed from his usual long slumber. The kid was quite restless, climbing from front to back. at times like this, one wishes that Woodwards Gripe Water still contained alcohol. One swig for the baby, another for the poor mum. Stopping at Bidor, we had breakfast at the market and mum bought some flowers, fruits and roast pork. Had the worst-tasting Anson Chu Cheong Fun there..! Such a rip-off. My sister and brother-in-law declared that it tasted of roaches. LOL. But the char siew pao was sedapz. Only MYR1.20. Mana nak cari?! . In Teluk Intan, we also stopped at the wet market also to get what

Out to Market Swiped from williamnyk . For ages now, I've been waking up at 7:15am on Saturdays to send my mum to the wet market. Our first stop at Taman United, where she'll buy poultry, seafood, pork and vegetables. Most of the time in that particular order. Later, we'll go to the market at OUG. A really horrible place. Packed with people. Full of cars. No parking. Over there, she'll buy more vegetables, fruits, eggs and other groceries at the Chinese medicine hall ( Chinaman's Carrefour-- can you imagine that they sell Gardenia at sub-market price?! ). At both markets, one can see that people in KL really know how to dress up ( or down ). Either they're wearing their most horrible pyjamas or they look like they're at a ball! From some sudden surge of confidence, many women come out to the market with the clothes that they went to bed in. The straight man would be thrilled if they wore negligees and teddies, but the reality is that its most probably a

Yuen's-Steamboat Swiped from ewinee . Note: Forgive the staleness factor. I blame it on Acer. :P The first time Anton extended an invitation to me was for BKT on National Day. But I had to take a raincheck on that. So, when Anton asked me out again, I tried my best to make it. It was steamboat at Yuen, Sunway. I wasn't exactly keen on that venue ( the owner's cute son doesn't exactly causes my heart to flutter ), but it's the gathering that counts I guess. Was a great chance to finally meet Anton, TZ and Bong in person. Pikey was the earliest to arrive, booking us a table on the first floor. By 6:30pm, Anton arrived and we decided to begin without the rest. By the time TZ and Bong had arrived, I was already at 80% capacity. No real crowd on the Friday night. Must be exam season for students or something. Can you imagine that there was no need to elbow someone to get some grilled chicken wings? That cut down the enjoyment for some people I guess. There were

1Malaysia Swiped from Abd Hadi . When I was in secondary school, Mahathir was still in power. He had his iron grip on the country and we all were under the thrall of his Vision 2020 . And because of that propaganda, me and my classmates had to write tonnes of essays on that topic. And we were constantly trying to squeeze that term into our writings to gain some imaginary brownie points. Much later, Badawi came along and but there wasn't a buzzword. I think the late Endon's batik even outshined her husband. Fast forward to the present and we have Najip's 1Malaysia . I'm guessing that students are facing the same thing that I did. 1Malaysia this, 1Malaysia that. Even people in the corporate world and media are trying to outdo each other incorporating that phrase into advertisements and products. So sienz. So boring. So kiss-ass. Jelaskan kesan kemelesetan ekonomi terhadap kemerosotan sahsiah di kalangan belia di negara kita. Karangan anda seharusnya tidak kurang

Sassed Up Swiped from *love.charmmy . Note: Forgive the staleness factor. I blame it on Acer. :P Yes folks, this is an account of the 4th celebration of my birthday this year. Don't groan yet, it should be the last for 2009. Hehe. A week in advance, Mel booked my time for a nice night out on a Friday. I was so sick and tired of my Fatty Boss' face that I used it as an excuse to leave the office at 5:30pm sharp. Because the appointment was at 6:30pm, I had some time to kill at Midvalley Megamall. Managed to meet up Apollo there although it was his day off, so we had a quick chat. Dinner was at Delicious and we ordered the duck curry with lychees ( weird, but recommended ) and the Thai-style steamed seabass. Mel dressed up for me, wearing a brown dress that showed off her boobs nicely ( I would have preferred more cleavage, but it's wasted on me anyway, hehe ) and even had makeup on. We did our whole attention-grabbing kopi susu BF-GF routine and even managed to camwhore

Would You Die For The Glory Of Russell's Teapot Swiped from Dude Crush . Acer finally called to say that my lappie has been given clean bill of health. Time to go collect it and pay the huge hospital bill. Hopefully the technician did not find any stray porn or erotic pictures lying around. Now I can continue my Flickr-ing and blogging of my stale posts ( birthday celebration posts are still pending.... and it's already November!!! ). Hehe. Long overdue since the photos that I require are inside the lappie. I kinda miss it. It has been an awkward two weeks trying to work using SK's laptop. But still, it's definitely better than using my old PentiumIII 600GHz. Can't wait to be reunited with my lappie....

Tax Return Swiped from NotInventedHere . Recently our DEAR PM announced "goodies" during the 2010 Budget and also the infamous credit card tax. He said that the rakyat should take into consideration the substantial savings before commenting about the "small" credit card tax. MYR50 per card cannot pay meh?! Heh. Let's do some calculation. I normally don't like to use my brain, but I'll make an exception today. Let's refer to Borang BE 2008 . The scenario is a middle-class wager earner with MYR4000 a month. C16 - Penggajian 48,000 D1 - Individu dan saudara tanggungan -8,000 D8 - Pembelian buku -1,000 D12 - Insurans Nyawa & KWSP -6000 D13 - Insurans Pendidikan & Perubatan -1,000 E1 - Pendapatan Bercukai 32,000 E2a - Cukai ke atas 20,000 pertama 475 E2b - Cukai ke atas baki 12,000 (@ 7%) 840 E4 - Rebat Cukai Individu -350 E9 - Jumlah Cukai Yang Dikenakan 965 Now let's look at the projected Borang BE 2009 for the same scenario. An extra M

The Love of Money Swiped from nomm de photo . My company is notorious for delaying salary increments without any official announcements. The management will never inform you that there will or will not be any salary increment. Don't ask me about bonuses, because THAT has never happened. It's a dirty word to use in my presence. You just wait. If it happens, it happens. And so, I just recently received my long overdue salary increment. Nearly 2 years already. And one would expect that with the delay, they would combine 2 increments into 1. Dream on! Any backdating you might ask? Do pigs fly? No. Are my top managers pigs? Yes! Oh well. Everyone was so pissed. Checking the amount of the credit advice on M2U, we couldn't really tell if there had been an increase. The amount must have been so small that it was smothered by the scheduled deductions. :(. I was pissed, so I left for lunch at 12pm sharp. Picked up KT and SK for lunch at Kung Fu Pan Mee at Puchong Jaya. On

Ever since mum and I watched Dama Orchestra 's "September Tales", we were quite smitten by the their productions and Tan Soo Suan's voice ( most probably it was because we were Teresa Teng junkies as well ). Following that, we bought tickets to "Butterfly Lovers". Once again, we were bowled over by their musical prowess and voice talent. Come 2009, I knew I had to watch their musical "I Have A Date With Spring" . For those of you who have gone to KTV with me, you would know that oldies are my staple. So it was definitely a must-watch. SK, mum and I caught the matinee show last Sunday at KLPAC and we weren't disappointed. The musical is an adaptation of To Kwok Wai's play of the same name. It's in Cantonese with english and chinese subtitles. The story revolves around 4 aspiring singers-- Butterfly Yiu ( played by the talented Tan Soo Suan ), Lulu, Nancy and Feng Ping. They shared their lives, careers, trials and tribulations. There'

Legend of the Condor Heroes 2008 Swiped from Ever Star . SK and I just finished watching "The Legend of the Condor Heroes 2008" on DVD. It's a production from China with several HK artistes. 50 episodes in 3 discs. We finished way ahead of schedule cause we used the fast-forward most of the time. The hero Guo Jing can be so annoying. So naive. So loyal. So stupid. Can never get it through his thick head that his brother Yang Kang hates his guts and wants him dead. However, even morons like him get to learn fantastic kung fu and get the pretty girl, Huang Rong. The whole story is a rojak of people from Peach Blossom Island, the Jin kingdom, Mongols, the Beggar Clan, White Camel Mountain, the Quan Zhen Sect and etc. The characters keep running into each other although the geographical location is large and everyone seems to have some kind of unfinished business with everyone else. Talk about convoluted. Basically, it's about fighting to be the No. 1 and the Nine Yin

Einstein's blackboard Swiped from Garrettc . After putting off twice due to scheduling conflicts ( and lack of motivation ), I finally attended the employee talk by my Chairman. It was held at a small auditorium at my parent company's HQ. Those who have gone before me warned that it was a snooze fest, so I left my Taman Desa office at 11:45 to book a place at the back row. But before that, we had lunch at Sakae Sushi at One Utama. The captain looked and sounded like he worked for the triad before. o.O. But do watch out for the cute waiter. :D. Post-lunch coffee was at Kluang Station. My first time there and I was not impressed. We were warned not to be late, but on the contrary, the big boss was late 15 minutes. I'm not complaining especially when it also ended half an hour before schedule. Hehe. Like all his other talks, it was full of question marks, theories and mathematics. He kept on dropping names of famous mathematicians. He presented the culmination of his

eye_of_sauron Swiped from matthewlw . With Deepavali falling on a Saturday, I got Monday off as a replacement. Did not get much rest at all that day with me running around settling my chores. The first order of the day was to pay my mechanic bill from Saturday. The air-conditioner compressor had cost me MYR495!!! :'(. Next, I went to the Acer service center in SUbang Jaya. Luckily I found the industrial park as I missed out on 60% of the landmarks in the early part of my directions. Unlike the HP-Compaq service center, it wasn't packed with people. I brought in 2 lappies, my office notebook and SK's personal notebook. I waited till noon for them to replace SK's keyboard, but mine was "warded". The LCD cover had cracked at the hinges and the LCD panel is practically severed if not for the connections. It's falls over without support. They took ages to source the left bracket and after 4 working days I was told that repairs would cost MYR550! Lunch

My beloved mother-in-law Swiped from erickguerrero.com / Pinoy Sydneysider . JustBecks' recent visit to his BF's hometown in Batu Pahat inspired me to write this post about in-laws. Have you ever met your "mother-in-law"? If you have, does she even know that you're her "son-in-law"? In my case, I have met my "mother-in-law" and KH has met his. However, there is a big difference in our experience. KH has only met my mother once and that occasion also marks my coming out to my family. Ever since that day, I have kept KH under wraps for fear that she might remember him. Truth be told, KH wants to meet her. During CNY, he even suggested that I hide him among a group of friends. I wouldn't want to take the chance. Sigh. As for me, I have met KH's mother for many times. I have sat down to lunch with her and visited her at home. And she knows who I am. And most importantly she knows who I am to her beloved son. It's not like she i

Such wisdom from a sleazy roadside advertisement I saw in Taman Desa: Wang ringgit boleh dicari, kebahagian rumahtangga tidak boleh dijual-beli In case you got a P7 for your Bahasa Malaysia, it means that money can always be earned, but marital happiness can never be bought. So, forget about OT tonight, go home and f*ck your hubby's brains out. Instant marital bliss. Money problems? Have sex. Your spouse giving you ten-cent face? Have sex. In-laws meddling all the time? Have sex. Looking for more such nuggets of wisdom? Fret not. Keep your eyes peeled in wet markets and under flyovers for phrases such as "Mann Cream", "Approved by KKM" and "ILoveBanana.com". Happy hunting!

Guess Who!? Swiped from mousleyka . During my stupid weekly status meeting with my Fatty Boss ( aka PuiZ ), he threw his weight around again ( definitely not a problem for him ). Questioning about delays and lack of progress ( with the exception of the ad hoc stuff he asked us to do-- as if that wasn't enough a distrubance ). And so, he displayed his enlightened leadership again by appointing me Project Manager of the non-existent project. Well, it was HIS job to begin with. So now, he can be an imaginary Project Director. If you can't get to the position in real life, you can consider using this role-playing method for your own simulated hegemony. In a nutshell, I'm the slave driver and also the slave. I'm the bullock and also the farmer holding the whip. I'm riding myself. Such a mystery right? You want things to get done, but you think that they happen from cheap talk and require no time. Snap out of it. Get real.

Goon Wah Restaurant, Kuchai Lama Swiped from lee wye jon . The 3rd celebration for my birthday took place at SK's place on my birthday. Having 2 days of replacement leave, she volunteered to prepare a nice steamboat dinner for me. On Thursday, she went out to the market to get the fresh meat, vegetables and seafood. A magnificent spread it was with fish, cuttlefish, squid, pacific clams, abalone , chicken ( do ask SK what happened at the market ), lala , mushrooms, leafy greens, fishballs, meatballs, beancurd, prawns and etc. The stock was made with chicken, pork and eau de ormeau . It was basically a family affair with Peng, her housemate ( + BF ) and my Mei , KT ( + BF ). On Friday ( my birthday! ), I took a day of annual leave ( 9 more days to clear ). Brought mum out to cut her hair, then together with SK and Cyan we went to Restoran Goon Wah , Kuchai Lama for some XO Fish Head Noodle. It's Teochew style with beancurd and yam in a claypot. Also do try their loh sh

IKEA Swiped from williamnyk . Last Sunday, SK and I endured a half an hour crawl on the LDP ( cause the idiots closed on lane at the TTDI intersection ) to get to IKEA. And you wanna know why we were there? Cause my mum wanted to buy a clock. But it wasn't a wasted trip. We came out with 2 clocks and 2 towels. And I noticed that IKEA likes to hire cute college boys as their cashiers. Twinky Cashier: Sir, would you like a plastic bag? Moi: (..............................) Huh? Oh. No. Yummy! And can anyone tell me what a sprung mattress is? A secondhand spring mattress perhaps? :P.