The In-Laws

JustBecks' recent visit to his BF's hometown in Batu Pahat inspired me to write this post about in-laws. Have you ever met your "mother-in-law"? If you have, does she even know that you're her "son-in-law"? In my case, I have met my "mother-in-law" and KH has met his. However, there is a big difference in our experience. KH has only met my mother once and that occasion also marks my coming out to my family. Ever since that day, I have kept KH under wraps for fear that she might remember him. Truth be told, KH wants to meet her. During CNY, he even suggested that I hide him among a group of friends. I wouldn't want to take the chance. Sigh.

As for me, I have met KH's mother for many times. I have sat down to lunch with her and visited her at home. And she knows who I am. And most importantly she knows who I am to her beloved son. It's not like she ignores me or gives me the cold treatment, but sometimes I just feel more comfortable not facing her. SK has told me that his mum sometimes talks indirectly to me. In a roundabout way. I don't know whether that is good or bad, or perhaps that's just her way of coping with me. Whenever KH is back in KL and goes out, she'll just state matter-of-factly:

"Out with William ah?"

Her tone of voice is not approving, but I guess its not outwardly disapproving either. When I pick him up from his apartment, more often than not his mum would be looking out from the balcony to confirm if its me. Hmmm... I wonder when I'll get comfortable around her.

What's your experience?

Comments

simonlover said…
Well, both of us have met both in-laws many times before cuz we usually stayover @ each other hz during visits ( both of us is of diff hometowns ma ). So far, both in-laws think that we are good friends nia. However, i wonder hw they will feel once if the secret is exposed?!! Shocked or happy leh? Sigh....
nase said…
The idea is not to avoid rather but working on that. Parents, I can assure you, they are tough nuts to crack exteriorly but with soft, warm hearts within. You gotta get to knw them and also show why you're the one their son chosen.

now abt speaking frm my own experiences with the Jehovah Witnesses in laws, ah you already knew, lolz.
Legolas said…
If the parents are against homosexuality, then you won't see any warmth sending your way for the rest of your life.

The most is they will treat you civilly, and that's all you can ask for.
savante said…
Sure she doesn't have a voodoo doll ka? :) Great that you have such a cool relationship with the inlaws though!
Gratitude said…
I'm sure you know how to handle the whole situation. ^_^
the viennamese said…
I'm not out to my parents. The first time one of my exes stayed over at my place, they were fine with it. But when they found out that he stayed over for the following 2 nights as well, my mom started to get unhappy about it and asked "doesn't he have his own place?". After that, everytime I was out, she'd call and ask if I was with him. Gosh.
simonlover said…
Wow, Evann. You have one helluva smart mom over there! Veru observant! =)
Derek said…
Don't think your mum still remembers how I look like le. Let's try next CNY, OK? I shall visit with SK hehe
Cheryl said…
DD, dont drag me in this. His mum will definitely remember. and i believe she still. she had good memories over the bad and good ones.I dare not le to try.. I doubt what will happen for the next CNY. cant think cant predict
William said…
@Simon:
They will go "oooooooohhhh, no wonder...". :P

@Nase:
Maybe Jehovah Witnesses are easier to handle. :P. But I lack your "si lai sat sau" skills le...

@Legs:
Civility is fine by me!

@Savante:
Which part is cool? That she doesn't strangle me? :P

@Grat:
I'm trying!

@Evann:
She has a good eye. 0.o. She's on to you.

@Simon:
I agree!

@Derek:
Dress as a girl!

@Cheryl:
A high risk project!
i hate the in-laws with a passion, for a variety of reasons. as to if they know who i am, don't think it matters.

the big problem with trying to gain everybody's approval is gaining everybody's approval. life is simpler when you only try to please the people that matter, and in the long run, the in-laws don't.
Justb3cks2 said…
will! My case is simple.. The parent doesn't know i'm someone to their son. But the brother and sis outsmart their parent.they can sense and sniff something.. Haha. How about that? The in laws maybe only have few more years to see me.but the bro and sis? Oh my my..
Twilight Man said…
Ah small feat, now you have met me and seen my fire lava fearless gap, just invite me for next CNY and I shall come with Derek. It will be happily ever after for you!
C'est la vie said…
Justbecks: The mothers can sense that their sons are "different" from normal guys. They have the instinct to tell, but they keep for themselves and we call it denial. :(

@Will:
Well, at least you don't get all those dramas shouting at you and stop his son from seeing you again. It's never easy to accept gayism in our country. At least there is a process. *sigh*, wish you all the best. *hug*

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