will i am's delayed diary

dodol Swiped from williamnyk . What am I holding in my hand? 1) A mortar shell 2) A dildo 3) An ear of corn 4) An oversized suppository 5) salami 6) One of the magic beans from "Jack and the Beanstalk" Well, it's actually dodol in a fancy dried-leaf packaging. So Elven waybread, right? I bought it for my brother for when he came back after the Raya holidays. Me: Hey bang, nak saya belikan dodol dan lemang? Bro: What kind of question is that?! Of course buy la! He always tells me that he's deprived of good Malay food in Singapore. Can't find a decent nasi lemak , etc... But truth be told, KL food ain't that great. Banyak tipu-tipu. It seems that every Tom, Dick and Harry can open a stall to sell substandard traditional fare-- Penang Laksa la, Nasi Dagang Kelantan la, Laksam la, Nasi Kerabu la . KL-ites who miss their hometowns will just have to make do. Still can't beat the originals. Berbalik cakap pasal makanan Singapura , I'm really not used to th

Rings Swiped from williamnyk . Ever since my home was burgled 2 years back (due to some negligence on our part and shoddy contruction), my mother has had an epiphany regarding jewellery and keeping valuebles at home. Although I was the biggest victim (lost some USD, IDR, MYR and my bro-in-law's handphone) and my mother only lost some worthless costume jewellery (which the burglar promptly dumped n the vacant house next door after he found out their true "value"), she never-the-less came up with a philosophy that buying jewellery is useless. If your jewellery is showy, you dare not wear it out for fear of snatch thieves. If you buy it and keep it under the mattress, you can't show it off and there is a chance that burglars will cart it away (even safes are no deterrent -- stories of thieves moving 50kg safes from 14th floor balconies, forcefully removing ATM machines, drilling into bank safety deposit box rooms even). It seems futile, but moderation is the key

ytf1 Swiped from williamnyk . Much to the disdain of some of my readers, I must report that over the weekend, I was a gourmand again. A 180 degree turn from my usual cafe and restaurant visits, this time I was stuffing myself at grimy roadside establishments over at Puchong Bt 14 . A predominately industrial area with horrible roads and a "new village" feel to it, it has quite a few gems to offer. The first place I visited was Tai Yau -- a "big fry" shop. I had always wanted to try this place out ever since my olfactory senses caught a whiff of stewed pork wafting out of that place. Unfortunately, that place was quite a big disappointment. Obviously such places are not expected to get an "A" for hygiene, but that place is quite nasty. You know the concentrated garbage liquid that drips out of garbage trucks? That place has puddles out front, adding to the wonderful aroma of the food. The utensils are just as nasty. The kitchen, now don't go looking the

At last I've figured out how to beta-blog via flickr. No more ugly posts and not leaving credit for the images used. :-)

Once again, I've found a chinese radio ad that I've got to share. It's not really annoying or anthing, but the premise of both the ads are quite disturbing, in my book. Here's the ad for eMagic EPT Facial Treatment (not too sure about the spelling): Version 1 Johnson : ( Wolf whistle ) Where're you going leng lui ? Woman : Eh, is that you, Johnson? Johnson : Opps, it's my mother-in-law! Woman : ( Oh my! Even my son-in-law couldn't recognize me after my eMagic EPT Facial Treatment! My skin is smooth and more radiant! ) Young Man : ( Wolf whistle ) Woman : Are you sure you didn't recognize the wrong person, young man? Comment: What shocks me is that Johnson's mother-in-law is not at all disturbed that her son-in-law was flirting with random women on the street. Even worse is that she was very proud of herself, being able the catch the eye of her son-in-law. Sick. Pengz. Version 2 Husband : ( Kisses wife on cheek ) Wife : Am I dreaming? Did my husband j

Mel shared with me this little gem overheard at the premiere of Don . Gaggle of Punjabi Aunties: Ohhhh, Shah Rukh, Shah Rukh! He still looks as good as he did in Kuch, Kuch Hota Hei ! Ten years ago you know?! Purposely came to see him! **Pengz** By the end of the movie, kids were running around, babies were being passed around the seat. A family-oriented movie...?. PS: Come to think of it, it's been ages since I watched a movie. Sape nak belanja?

I fetched my mum to her friend's 54th birthday party and the moment the birthday "girl" laid eyes on me, she insisted that I join. I grudgingly said "yes" even though I was tired from my swim and I hadn't had the chance to properly dechlorinate and moisturize yet. Well, it wasn't a total loss. The food was quite good. Very German, with meat, meat and lotsa meat. It was catered by Le Oriental Catering , OUG. Customary spread of fried rice, fried mee-hoon, curry chicken, mixed vegetables, butter prawns, sambal squid, battered fish, fried yam balls and acar . If that wasn't enough, a lamb and pig was roasting over a spit at the front porch! Dessert was ABC and fruits. The roasted pig was great, managed to get some juicy choice cuts. Mints sauce came with the tender lamb meat and it was fabulous. However, the highlight of the evening isn't really the food, it's the people. The aunties were all very happy. As usual, when they all get together, the

After going through 170+ episodes of Naruto , I've finally had enough. It's all a blur to me now, but I think after Uchiha Sasuke left for the dark side, it all started going downhill. The anime people deviated from the manga main story arc ( perhaps because there is no more ) and started doing idiotic episodes. Real moronic side stories that make you cringe and half-hearted fights. I actually fast-forwarded. Luckily, I have Bleach to keep me occupied now. Slow pace at the start, but the story definitely switched to a higher gear when the gang invaded the shinigami -verse. Lotsa fighting, but I'm wondering how many Shinigami -bashing episodes I can take before it gets old. My favourite character has got to be Kurotsuchi Mayuri , the captain of the 12th squad. For some reason, I love the seiyu , as much I love the one who did Naruto's Orichimaru . But for now, it's orange spiky hair 1, yellow spiky hair 0. PS: If I got the colours wrong, pardon my colour-blindness.

beauty is ugly Originally uploaded by 1826 TRUST 1927 . Spied on a beauty parlour's glass door somewhere in TTDI: 1) Flat chest 2) Small breats 3) Flabby bust 4) Dark nipples It reminded me of a Berita Harian article I read years ago: "Akhirnya Maria (namanya ditukar) berjalan dengan penuh yakin dan percaya diri setelah membesarkan payudaranya..." Kok gede banget... Perhaps in the future, a little something for men: 1) Pencil dick 2) Small balls 3) Man-breasts 4) Dark scrotum Insecurity is such a big money-spinner... Can't really change certain things in life, unless of course one goes for a major "renovation". However, that's not the real you. We may sometimes think that we're from the bargain corner of the gene pool, but sometimes, we can find some good stuff there too. PS: Are fair nipples supposed to be more attractive? :D

Campus Universiti Malaya - Chancellory Originally uploaded by Eric @ Flickr . I am the product of this: http://blog.limkitsiang.com/?p=626#more-626 Certain points are valid. This proves that nothing much has changed, but I made the best of it. I think.

hotchockozee Originally uploaded by williamnyk . Here's a picture of the hot chocolate served at Kozee, Taman Tun Dr. Ismail . It looks as though you can eat the cup and saucer, right? If you didn't notice, the name of the restaurant is a play of the word "Cosy". Soooo very clever. Heh. FYI, the food is a mixture of oriental and western offerings. It's not exceptional and I must mention that the sodium content is a tad high, but it does have a Yin-Yang fried rice that is quite unique. One side red sauce, one side white. I also tried their beef and egg sandwich. It's no O' Brien's and not quite Subway. So-so. If you're a fan of thick toast, you can also try their version. The way the condensed milk was "draped" on the peanut butter created a nice marbling effect. I don't quite like peanut butter, so... Coincidently, their french toast is also chock-full of peanut butter, but with the extra fragrance of beaten eggs on the outs

Thai T-Shirt #1 Originally uploaded by tarotastic . While reviewing my blog visit report, I came across the following referring link: http://blog.webs-tv.net/nomoreads/article/4358614 Curious, I clicked on it. To my surprise, some I found it to be a blog post about my Fwaaah! post. After having it translated from Chinese, I was even more surprised-- the author works for the ad agency that handles the Fwaaah! ad for KFC. She was on the team that came up with the idea and she actually penned the lyrics to the jingle. According to the post, one of their colleagues from the Brand Planning department found my post and forwarded it to everyone in their company! The author, however seems quite candid about the criticism and concurred on several points I raised ( she even remarked that several of her friends had a similar response ). After rereading my post, I found that what I wrote was really quite unforgiving and brutally honest, but then, that's how I am. Once again, my "

relic_toothposter Originally uploaded by williamnyk . I may not be a Buddhist, but I recently visited the Buddha's and His Disciples' Relics World Tour held at the Mines International Convention Center . It's organized by the Gelugpa Buddhist Association . I thought it was a walk-in affair, but boy, was I wrong. Had to queue ( lines made up of strung up mantras to keep out the vampires? ), had to wait. Prior to registration, we were given an electronic counter to keep track of the number of times we chanted Om Mani Padme Hung ( dont know what it means ). They want to keep track of the number to achieve a mass chanting record. If you chant 5,000 times or more, you get a gift. My poor thumb was exhausted after clicking up to 1,000 ( itchy fingers ), so I can't imagine actually chanting 5,000 or more times. Upon entry, we got to see many religious paintings painstakingly done by lamas. Kinda like illuminated manuscripts. At the relics section, we saw the relics

flipflops Originally uploaded by williamnyk . Recently, I replaced my old dingy mattress with a spring mattress ( no, it wasn't a cash-stuffed mattress ). On the first morning I woke up from it, my neck, shoulder and lower back was all stiff. It was only natural for me to blame the mattress for my suffering ( so sue me for making an accusation based on circumstantial evidence ). Well, it turns out that the stiffness and pain was due to my annual fever. Had to resort to my long-lost friend acetaminophen. By Friday night, I was burning up and yet found the energy to do a little shopping at Sunway Pyramid on Saturday. Bought myself a pair of flip-flops for pool-side use. Nearly bought some boardshorts as well, but my ass-deficiency was a deterring factor. Refrained from seeing the doctor. Trying to be antibiotic-free for as long as possible. Worst of all, I missed another chance to swim, and I'm beginning to wonder if I can remember how to. Took me 4 days to get back to n

The Axe Gang Originally uploaded by groonk . It's been some time now since my last movie review. Truth be told, I have not watched many recently. However, the long em>Raya week gave me the chance to catch up on some marathon DVD-watching. Kung Fu Hustle I finally watched this. I've been told it's very good. I've been told it's very bad. My brother loved it so much that he bought the soundtrack. I think he was just impressed by the Axe Gang Boss' dance routine in the opening. But I liked that too. SK on the other hand, hated it. She watched it in the cinema and couldn't believe why she was the only person not laughing. In my opinion, it's a good Kung Fu flick, but not an exceptionally good comedy. It's very stylized and it does capture the essence of cowboy flicks well. As usual, Stephen Chow reused many of his old stuff with some renewed twists to good effect. Details aplenty. I especially liked the gu zheng assassins scene. And the en

In my last post on education , I talked about commercialism and exams. And the mother of all commercialism in the education sector is definitely tuition classes . I too have dabbled a little in that in my spare time, but that's another story. It's so very common these days. Children as young as 7 are shoved into tuition classes these days. What deranged and kiasu parents. I know of one parent who sends her Primary 1 child to tuition classes when her son's school has its own extra classes and dishes out plenty of homework. And you know what? The mother still finds the time set up trial exams for her poor child and dig up past year papers . Unheard of in my time. I only started taking tuition when I was in Secondary 5. The concept is similar to traditional chinese supplements -- Got disease, cure disease. No disease, healthier body. Go for it even if you don't need it. And some places actually screen students. Kalau dah memang pandai tu, tak payahlah nak cari tuition . A

MeeJawaInt Originally uploaded by williamnyk . I'm really not a fan of Mee Jawa , but I made a right choice when I decided to try out Mee Jawa at Plaza Puchong ( it's not a building, just some shoplots, beats me why they call it that ). The first thing one notices about this new eatery is its signboard. Not just for it's simple and straight-forward name, but for the fact the words are senget and it has a thatched roof out front. This Chinese-owned halal food establishment has an overall Malay village feel to it with bare cement floors, bamboo and ropes used liberally in its decor, unshaved and untreated wooden doors, chicken baskets as light hoods and woven trays hung on the walls bearing the names of the local delights served. Wow, that was a mouthful. Anyway, the place has a killer "Prawn Mee" and "Assam Laksa", but the signature "Mee Jawa", "Rojak", "Mango and Squid Salad", "Char Kuey Teow" doesn't quite c

no me ames Originally uploaded by weerat . Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony's No Me Ames has struck a chord with me recently. Prompting me to be interested in all things Spanish. Spanish Fly, Spanish Inquisition, ... Anyway, my colleague LC and I have gone to the extent of memorizing some of the lyrics, much to the chagrin of my other colleagues: Me : Dime porque lloras (Why are you crying?) LC : De felicidad (Because I'm happy) Me : y porque te ahogas (Why are you so choked up?) LC : por la soledad (From loneliness) You get the idea. The cute thing is that LC does it in a nasal Parit Buntar Hokkien twang. Hehe. From the music video I saw ( you have my permission to roll your eyes ), it seems that Marc Anthony's dying and doesn't want J. Lo to love him anymore, hence No Me Ames (Don't love me). Check it out, people. PS: If it ain't Spanish, feel free to flame me. I was too lazy to check. Foreign languages aren't really my forte. Wanted to take tagalog

ed Originally uploaded by williamnyk . Note: SK's been bugging me to put this up because she wants to read the article. So here it is, ahead of the other posts sitting in my post cache. For the uninitiated, I'm a "banana" who can't read Chinese. I can speak pass-able Mandarin, but it has a Cantonese twang to it and stumble for the words at times. However, this didn't stop me from finding this little gem in the Chinese daily Guang Ming . I'm making an educated guess here, so please comment if I got it wrong. Apparently, the guy in the photo is holding some kind of erectile dysfunction test strip. It has some cute cartoons on it, and I'm sure it's simple enough to figure out. 1) Take the strip, afix it to your flacid penis 2) Go to sleep 3) Results in the morning If the strip broke, Hallelujah! Your equipment is in tip-top condition. If the strip just teared a little, beware... Lastly, if the strip is as it was from the night before... jeng

leemuffler Originally uploaded by williamnyk . A short one today. Snapped the pic with my trusty camera phone while waiting at a traffic light at Jalan Puchong . It's the wall of an exhaust service center apparently owned by a Mr. Lee aka Mr. Muffler . Sounds more like an assassin to me. Heh.