will i am's delayed diary

OMG_Girls Swiped from williamnyk . Overheard in Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf , OUG ( OK, I was on eavesdropping 4 Ms. Mat Salleh Celup @ 4 Heavenly Bitches, the bloody WIFI was down, so it was do some crap programming, or listen to their inane conversation ): OH MY GAWD! I LOVE BOOTS! WHERE CAN I GET GOOD BOOTS! I DON'T LIKE COACH. BUT I LOVE THE BOOTS! ENERGIE IS A BIT HOE. A BIT HOE. THEIR TOPS ARE HOE. LIKE I'M A HOE, YOU KNOW. I'M A ZARA PERSON. FOREVER 21 IS SUPER! IT'S SUPER. I THINK WAREHOUSE IS GOOD. GOOD BASICS. LOOK AT THIS! 100 PEOPLE DIED WHEN A BOAT COLLIDED! WHO CARES?! IN CANADA. WHO CARES?! YOU GOT TO KNOW WHERE TO LOOK FOR CUTE BOYS! I USED PLAY 'TOUCH' WITH BOYS. REAL CUTE! REAL GOOD-LOOKING. DON'T YOU THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE! YOU'RE SO SHALLOW. I'M DISAPPOINTED. CAN'T I THINK ABOUT BOYS IN ANOTHER COUNTRY?! I MEAN THE BOYS HERE... UGH. WHAT'S HER NAME? CHERYL?! OH MY GAWD! SHE'S A COW! SHE'S A COW! I CAN'

vibra1 Swiped from williamnyk . If you guys remember, I recently bought the Durex Play Vibrating Condom for SK's "official company business". They have finished playing with it, so I got to take a look. I was quite shocked to discover that her people at R&D initially thought that the vibrating condom worked on some sort of chemical reaction. A really scary thought-- a condom that is lubricated with spasm-inducing chemicals. However, Occam's Razor dictates that the simplest explanation is always correct, so the more logical gimmick behind the vibrating condom is of mechanical means. When you open up the box, you get 1 condom and 1 vibrating ring. There's nothing special about the condom. Standard stuff. The vibrating ring is the fun bit. It's basically a cylindrical motor attached to a flexible and stretchable latex ring. From the looks of it, you slide the ring right up to the base of your erect member and flip the switch for instant pleasure. In

Blood pressure waiting. Swiped from Half Chinese . Recently, my Project Manager was diagnosed with hypertension. He's just 30 years old. I guess 6 projects and 20kg of excess adipose tissue under your belt can do that to a person. Why do I not sound sympathetic? PS: He even bought a blood pressure scanner. Gave us comlimentary screenings in the office.

TTDIFireAgain Swiped from williamnyk . Note: No, it's not about "The Apprentice". Donald Trump creeps me out. A whole lotta guys cramming at the windows. No, it's no Rose Chan peepshow, but a fire. Yes, folks, a fire broke out at one of the upstairs shoplots along Jalan Datuk Sulaiman, TTDI . Holding fast to the principles of suaku-ness and ke-kepoh-chi-an , my colleagues and I were jostling for a better view from our 13th floor vantage point. The fire was quite big and the flames took off the roof in no time. From where we were, we could see a lone fireman fighting the fire. He was spraying water on the front of the shop, whereas the fire raged at the back. And it really seemed futile. Some time later, another fire engine came to the scene, but there seemed to be no urgency. We did not see any extra hoses being employed. In case you don't know, the TTDI Fire Brigade is located just 2 minutes from the scene of the fire. If the fire broke out elsewhere, ba

DSC00098 Swiped from MonsterMonster.co.uk . While having tea with some colleagues, we received a call from a colleague that she couldn't start her car. According to her, there was no sound when she turned the ignition. We immediately came to the conclusion that her battery was dead. Finishing our drinks, we rushed over to the parking lot, and another colleague went to drive his car over and get his jumper cables. Upon arrival, we connected the jumper cables and asked her to start her car... "Errr, I had my gear in reverse..." Being a manual person, I know nuts about automatic transmission, but I did learn something that day. Automatic cars won't start if the gear is not in P or D. Never in our wildest dreams would we have expected the problem to be that. She had a great tongue-lashing from us. "Eh, how come my Windows can't start one... oh... never turn on the power yet..." Nak kena tempeleng...

HealthFairMap Swiped from williamnyk . My mother has 2 younger brothers and both of them are practical opposites. Uncle A is married and stays in Teluk Intan where he has a good bread and kuih-muih business going. Uncle B however, is quite a character. Truth be told, I've not seen him in more than a decade. He's quite an introvert and a man of few words. Very opiniated, but non-confrontational, so usually decides not to stick around. He's been wandering around for ages, nobody really knows where he is. Sometimes he just turns up, and leaves a couple of days later. He never likes to intrude, to impose. Trough a miracle of some sort, my mother actually managed to contact him. So, we set up a meeting with him as he was coming down to KL to have a look at the 3rd International Health Fair at PWTC. On entering the venue, I was handed a brochure for feminine hygiene wash... It's weird, I don't remember coming in drag or wearing my "I have a vagina" T

Sebalik Malam is TV3's latest show that touches on "taboo subjects and sexual deviancy", e.g. "lesbianism, obsession, voyeurism and sadism". During the introduction, the host Ahmad Fedtri mentioned that the show wasn't about ghosts and the supernatural, but his hand gestures, his slow speech ( ala Misteri Nusantara ) and the spooky music and heartbeat sounds in the background didn't tally with what he was saying. The first episode highlighted Derita Nafsu (loosely-translated to Suffering from Lust). Among the sub-topics were underwear thievery and transexuality. The part on underwear thieves was very weak. Didn't reveal much about the motivation behind, but perhaps there's not much objectivity behind human lust. Some lame answers I got from the host: 1) To sell for money ( on eBay, perhaps? ) 2) As an acne cure ( Oxy can close shop ) 3) Black magic ( Who knows? ) During the second part of the show, they featured a telephone conversation with a