will i am's delayed diary

I have no intention of turning this into a "Mind Your Language" segment ( people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones :P ), but I just had to post this. Spotted it at Mayflower , Jalan Tun Sambanthan. This stall serves quite a wicked fried spaghetti. A bit oily, but OK la. When you look at that cute little note, I'm sure you can understand where the owner is coming from. But I just can't help but think that he has a frozen piece of Dory jumping up and down in his freezer some where. Hahahahaha.

Picture taken at Cathay Cineleisure, Singapore I know it's not cool to make fun of someone else's name, but I just had to highlight this... It's the first time I've seen such a surname! Seen anything similar?

Low Key Christmas To mark the fourth week of Advent, here's an example of Christmas cheer in Bandar Seri Begawan. The picture on the top was snapped at the lobby of my hotel. It suddenly appeared after I came back from work one day. They used a dingy white table cloth to set the display. And the snowman... looks like a bleached "Angry Bird" crossed with Eric Cartman. The picture below was snapped at Lucky Restaurant. They put the Christmas tree on the stage, right in between the dragon and phoenix carvings! Kinda like its under attack. That's all for Christmas over in Brunei. Hopefully all the Pinoys there will make things livelier.

Picture taken at Restoran Phongmun, Bandar Seri Begawan I can imagine belting out "Shanghai Bund" on this stage. If I did my wedding banquet there, I would most probably be wearing a red cheongsam with phoenix embroidery. Hehe.

Nostril Hair Swiped from numlok™ . White hair~ the mark of maturity? Wisdom? Stressed out? Age? Too much brain usage? Sexiness ala Richard Gere? My brother had his fair share since he was in Form Six. Can't help it since he was a computer freak since his teenage years. Can you believe he actually read source code in his free time? :S. I, on the other hand do not have a single strand of white hair on my head yet. However, I do have white nostril hair! TMI? Huhu. I wonder what that signifies?

Orange (365/340) Swiped from JenniPenni . Nearly everyday I'd eat an orange. BND0.50 per fruit. Usually sour, but I don't mind. Every time I cut it, my colleague would know as the sourness would permeate across the living room. Out of politeness I would offer him a piece, but he never accepted. I thought it was just about the taste, but then I found out that it was also about the sound! Some people just bite into a slice and eat some of the pulp, suck out the juices. On the other hand, I usually rip the flesh off the skin. Turns out that my roommate is averse to this sound! To him, unpeeling a pomelo has the same effect as running one's spiked cock ring across a blackboard! He immediately hugged himself and jumped off the couch. Such a major response. LOL. What's your 'favourite' sound? :D

When there's nothing to do, one tends to stuff things in the mouth ( not talking about dick here, but I guess it's a valid angle too ). For me, it has been oranges, apples, raisins, dried guava and other more unhealthy varieties like Lays potato chips and Kosuka tapioca chips. Sometimes I'd buy yoghurt too. But this is just a far cry from my colleagues who just live across the hall. To date, both of them have consumed nine tubes of Pringles, four packets of Ruffles and eight cup noodles! All in just two weeks. I salute them. If I ate that much of salt and MSG-laden food, my throat would have surrendered in just a couple of days. Any personal junk food records to share? Note: An ex-colleague of mine once shared that he could down two large pizza in one sitting or one large bucket of KFC. Don't worry, he has slimmed down now.

Economy rice in Penang Swiped from fortesfidelis . Although there are quite a number of shops selling decent food near my hotel, my roommate and I still narrow our choice down to two. People are always like that. Less choices, they complain. Too many choices, they cannot decide. So for me, it's always either Sui Heng or Golden Leaf . Why? I guess it's the price and taste. It's the only two shops selling decent Chinese mixed rice. And the letter even has roasted items like pork ribs and duck. I think the waitresses at both shops come to expect seeing us there. Not surprised if this is what they whisper under their breath: "Here comes the cilaka migrant worker who only take the BND3.00 mixed rice and drink warm water" They don't even bother to ask us anymore these days. Haha. At least over here, fish is counted the same like any other meat. In KL... "Fish ma, sure more expensive!" Do you have a regular shop that you go to?

In my previous post, I mentioned that there were two semi-cuties in my Brunei office. Both are on the opposite spectrum. One medium build. The other small build. One goody-goody. The other bad boy. One hardly smiles. The other has a cheeky grin. One has a long fringe. The other has a ruffled, James Dean look. But today, lets focus on candidate #1, Mr. Goody. Both have skin as white as snow. So, when Mr. Goody has a mark on his neck, it defintely catches the eye. Even my straight colleague noticed: "Wei, is that fella sporting a lovebite?" But the truth of the matter is, it's a perpetual lovebite. Day One~ Still there. Day Two~ Still. Day Three~ Still there. Conclusion? Birthmark lo... Haha. Sorry la, no pics. Use your imagination, k? Wakakaka.

This is the view that greats me whenever I use the toilet cubicle on the 10th floor of my client's office... quite a view isn't it? Thank goodness there are no higher buildings nearby, else the mid length window would be quite a spectacular view for the neighbours. Tee hee. As you can see, I have aged the photo, but the buildings don't look out of place at all kan ? Welcome to the Twilight Zone!

See the guy on the left? With the earphones? Not cute, right? Well, the reason I noticed was due to his beautiful voice . There I was in the train fiddling with my iPhone when I heard a very weird sound from the other side of the train. Sounded very much like a kid whining. I looked left. I looked right. ( not trying to cross the street la ). Yet I did not see any kids. Ignore it. Then the strange whining started again. Huh? The train was only half-full, but still I could not find the source of the sound. Then I looked straight ahead. Karaoke Kyaw was happily mumbling along to the song he was listening too. Myanmarese was my first guess. Pretty amazing, not much lip movement and he could throw his voice to one side of the train! Do you ever put on your earphones in your office and start singing? My ex-colleague used to do it and boy it was quite a spectacle. A quiet office atmosphere suddenly punctuated with very jiwang ( inspired by Savante ) and off-key singing. Everyone would look

Young people going out on a friday night Swiped from Vueltaa . If you can speak Malay, you should be able to surive in Brunei. It's pretty much the same breed of language, with certain exceptions. The first thing I noticed was their fondness for the word "bah". Kinda like the equivalent of our "lah", except infinitely more flexible. It fits most situations. Can use it to agree, get attention, and even prohibit. And they "kita" instead of "awak" as a sign on respect. Confusing kan ? Then you have your "ngak payah" and "ngak buleh" that somehow just rolls off the tongue with a funny melody to it. Quite fun to use. And instead of "tidak", they use "inda". Then they have a whole lot of "Dayangku"s and "Awangku"s floating around... people with royal lineage. On top of this, I just found out that when Bruneians say "belayar", they actually mean going on a trip. :S. "

While doing #1 in the loo of my client's office, this is what I saw on the wall with the urinals... a Urine Colour Chart! to help the staff know their hydration levels. I don't know about their staff, but I find comparing the colour of my pee to a printed chart, midstream no less, to be quite a challenge! Wonder if that campaign caused an increase 'missed shots'. Or perhaps... "Romzi, come look at my pee. You think it's a band 7?"

Semasa Ke LCCT Swiped from Rosli Ahmad . Woke up at 7:30am and did some last minute packing before SK fetched me to the airport. At the LCCT, I looked at the departure board and found my flight AK266 - KSK . What the hell's "KSK"?! Went to ask at the information counter. Turns out that it means "Self Check-In Kiosk". So off I went in search of the kiosk. And what do I see there? Several lines of frustrated passengers trying to check-in. Either the booking could not be found or the machine did not have paper to print out the boarding pass. Perfect. A chinese woman was asking the customer service about the problem, so I in turn asked her about her findings. "You from XYZ company?" Wah, I must have tattoo-ed on my forehead or something. But then, it's not everyday that you have a bunch of typical cheenas going to Bandar Seri Begawan. So off we went to the other cluster or machines. Also hopeless. We ended checking in at the baggage drop-off

Flickr Toothbrush (36th/52) Swiped from skippyjon . You guys remember the toothbrush from my previous post ? Well, that's just one of the many old tootbrushes I have in my bathroom. Once the bristles become too exhausted, I retire the toothbrush and give it a new life scrubbing stubborn stains from my sink. I put it all on the lower tier of the rack hanging on the wall. On the top tier, I have my current toothbrush and other body products. Why do I mention this? To know why, we'll have to rewind back to my trip back to KL from Singapore last month. I was super blur from the delayed flight. And while I was brushing my teeth, I was doing some deep thinking. So things kinda went on auto-pilot. "Hmmm... how come my toothbrush so soft geh...? Spoil already?" Then it hit me like a tonne of bricks. I had brushed using an old, dirty toothbrush! GOODNESS! I immediately rinsed my mouth over and over and over again. Then I proceeded to brush my teeth with lots of tooth

Here's a silver cleaning challenge not unlike those between different brands of laundry detergents. At the Brand X corner, we have the buah lerak that I smuggled in from Jogjakarta. At the Brand Y corner is a chemical cleanser that I bought from a silver shop in Endah Parade. I put both to the test. With the buah lerak , I just need to peel off a little bit of the skin and wet it. Then I brushed the exposed flesh with a toothbrush. Magically, bubbles start to appear. The bubbles were used to clean my tarnished silver ring. No unpleasant smell, but the cleaning power was not that strong, leaving some heavily oxidized spots behind. To complete the challenge, I dipped the ring into the black chemical solution for ten seconds. Definitely smelled of acid! After the time was up, I dumped the ring into some soap solution and brushed the ring. At the end, I ran it through clean water and polished it with a special microfibre cloth. The chemical did a great job, but my skin suffered. Not g

What's so special about 10.10.10 that every Ah Lian and Ah Beng wants to get married on that day? Even SK's ex-housemate wanted to, but failed. She got registered on the 11th instead. Anyway, who celebrates the ROM date?! Riding on the popularity of this date, there was a wedding contest at The Pavilion where ten couples of newly-weds vied to be the "Perfect 10". Didn't spot any cuties, but I did see some weird wedding gowns. A very updated version where the groom looked like MJ-meets-Jack Sparrow and the bride looked like she stepped on a giant capsicum. Still, they looked totally precious together. The blushing bride also make good use of some body makeup trying to conceal a tattoo on her shoulder blade. She should have opted for more heavy duty concealers. But with her current style, I'd say that a tattoo isn't exactly out of place. Here's another fashion wave that I totally missed ( but I'm grateful that I missed it )-- leggings for guys. Saw t

One Word Poster: Private Swiped from dubccc . The latest couple of Japanese pornographic movies that I downloaded had a similarity that I did not notice from other production houses. Obviously, I'm not pointing out sucking, fucking and what not. That is given. The movie from Surprise had scenes where the guy giving a blowjob paused a while to remove pubic hair from his mouth... Yes, it is bound to happen unless the person you're blowing is a pak cham kai ( like Evann admitted, :P ). That is also why I trim before my conjugal visits to Singapore. But frankly, it somehow puts a dash of realism in the sex act. Not everything goes so smoothly and beautifully from start to end like we are made to believe through the magic of film editing. Cocks never get soft. The hole is always ready to receive. Climaxes happen together giving even olympic synchronized divers a run for their money. So, any other type of realism that you would like porn directors to include or exclude even?

A special variation of my LRT Celebrities series-- something I caught on the road. See that super bling-ed steering wheel with red sequins? Really stands out in her blue Viva. See how it sparkles... I really don't how she drives with such a thing on her steering wheel. Imagine sheathing yourself with a rhinestone-studded condom. And wouldn't she be distracted by all that glitter? It kinda passes as something a drag queen might use. Or she could 'pimp' things up with a disco ball hanging at her rear view mirror. So, is your steering wheel accessorized? Is your car colonized by soft toys? Does it resemble a display corner at World of Feng Shui? Please share. :).

Check out Burger King 's latest seasonal addition to their menu-- BK Xtra Long . The catchphrase-- So long and juicy no one can resist! It hits a chord with the gay community kan ? We all can relate to that. And look at the model's neck in the ad. Gives a whole new world of meaning to deep throating . Hehe. Over and out.