will i am's delayed diary

Muddy Mudskipper Swiped from twm1340 . For years and years, I visited my late aunt at her fishing village at Bagan Sungai Burung ( near Sabak Bernam ) and the one thing that always fascinated me was the mudskippers behind her house. I would thrown si ham shells at the buggers they would either scamper or just stare at me blankly with their weird eyes. Little did I know that they had a secret-- they're used as an aphrodisiac. I first heard about from my colleague. Banting folk cut 'em up and smear the blood over their peckers for erectile problems!! Shocking, right? Even more shocking is when I saw this selling in my neighbourhood pharmacy: Virile For Men is a penis cream with exotic Periophthalmodon schlosseri (mudskipper la!) pheromone extract blended with essential secret aphrodisiac herbs suitable for treating premature ejaculation, giving enormous erection and lasting pleasure thus radually increasing your penis size.... The cream is formulated with aromatic emoll...

HotAirBalloon Swiped from williamnyk . I usually work on Saturdays, but that week, I couldn't care less about the project and decided to take things easy. However, it doesn't mean that I slept in and holed myself up the whole day watching DVDs and stuffing my face. Instead, I woke up at 7:00am to send my mum to her seminar at Sunway Resort Hotel, whereas SK and I went to the wet market. Thought that perhaps Xavier and Damon would join us for breakfast at Sri Petaling, but it was an "ungodly" hour and they weren't up yet. Had some mamak food and made a trip to the pharmacy. Then we headed to SK's place where I got my weekly dose of the internet ( stupid P1 covers BK5 and Taman Equine but conveniently overlooks Taman Puncak Jalil **sulk** ). On the other hand, SK prepared a lunch of porridge, pig kidney in rice wine, fried fish, luncheon meat, stir-fried celery and century quail eggs. Xavier and Damon had finally awoken and joined us for lunch instead....

Marmalade Swiped from williamnyk . In my sulky state of having been overlooked for this year's Maulidur Rasul Award, I made my first visit to Plaza Mont Kiara. On that drizzly morning, I sent my mum for her eleven o' clock appointment at Cahya for a body scrub and a hot stone aromatherapy massage, compliments of my hotel membership thingy ( a repeated con! ). SK and I had two hours to kill, so we went roaming around the place. SK managed to get a Roxy dress at some parallel import place and we were so bored that we even went into the Asiana Mart and other stores. The presence of security personnel is high and they are very friendly. Gurkhas I think, with their hats. After forty minutes or so, we parked our behinds at Marmalade , a place recommended by our neighbourhood foodie, Jason Jr. Fruit juice, cappucino and a generous slice of carrot cake. It had a nice frosting and was topped with none other than marmalade. Quite nice. Before we knew it, we were back up at the...

I'm taking five days of annual leave next week for a prolonged conjugal visit to Singapore. It's my chance to relax a little from work, clear leave and try my hand at domestic life with KH. Effective today, the boyfriend has barred me from all skanky activities until I touchdown at Changi! Really have to mark the days... >_<" Hehe. -- Regards, William

It has been ages since I blogged about the weird and wonderful personalities on KL's light rail transit system. And so, I'm back with two new additions and an update on a regular. To start it off, I'll have you know that Fabio has finally cut off his long, luscious locks for a shorter look. Kinda like Madonna or Anita Mui. Hopefully there isn't some Samson and Delilah story behind the drastic change. The first newcomer is Mangaka. On the whole journey, he just sits there doodling anime schoolgirls in his sketchbook. He flips from page to page, finishing a detail here, ending a stroke there, only to begin back at where he started. Amusing. The second is Mr. Read-Aloud. Believe it or not, he reads the newspaper aloud like when I did in primary one. I don't know if it's a force of habit or an attempt to improve his pronunciation, but I personally feel that the LRT is not the right place to do that. But if he didn't, he wouldn't have found his thirty second...

The President of my Di Association recently presented me with a cute Paul Frank button badge during his last trip to KL. So gwai ! He bought it so that SK could buy her Paul Frank undies at half price. Watch out people, she's amassing a huge collection as we speak. Definitely someone to look out for in the underwear collector's race. And so, I present the latest family tree for your perusal. Already at v1.2. Several changes have taken place. Among the most notable are Lifebook becoming SK's gor ( a rich one, mind you ) and my di Kenz breaking up with Rich ( :( ). Oh yeah, and SK is no nearer to getting inseminated by Alex. You guys can set up a betting pool. But beware of Savante tilting the odds by means of alcohol... oppps.

With the sleep still in her eyes, mum went downstairs to use some eye drops for her dry eye syndrome. In her blur-blur state, she instead grabbed a bottle of Betadine (iodine antispectic). It took her a while after the burning sensation set in that she noticed!! Aiyoh.... -- Regards, William

FYI, KL Monorail is now ISO9001:2008 certified! One can now be assured that the frequent delays and technical glitches will be properly documented as part of their normal operations in their SOP. Yay for quality management! -- Regards, William

I was at the Old Town Kopitiam-CIMB ( some screwed up partnership, banking while you sip your nanyang kopi o, stupid ) at Menara Hap Seng and I noticed that the Nissin noodles were missing from the new menu! What happened!? Call the police!

The ball starting rolling when I bought SK a Momiji for VDay. Luca ( the Momiji's name ) was nicely packed in a colourful metal box with stickers and a button badge. She looks like Avril Lavigne with pink hair and a pair of headphones. Made of porcelein, she's heavy to the touch. Kinda like a blunt murder weapon. Hehe. At the bottom of each Momiji is a slot ( not THAT kind of slot ) that can be used to keep a secret message. Coincidentally, my Mei is somewhat of an insider in this whole Momiji business and was quite surprised that I suddenly showed interest in the collectibles. As a welcome gift, she sourced me a male Momiji that's not selling anywhere in the country. Hehe. Ollie's the name and he too has pink hair, but sports a skateboard on his back. SK reciprocated as well by getting me Silly-Billy, the white-haired cousin of Luca. She came packed in a cute inflated cushion and a cardboard carton. She's the more conventional type, Japanese and in a Kimono. Well, ...

Zoom! is the stupid campaign started by Tourism Malaysia to encourage more people to have local holidays and increase foreign tourist arrivals. One of their approaches include putting up posters in STAR LRT cars, and boy, are those posters ugly and uninformative. I think a lower secondary kid with Adobe Photoshop 6 could have done better. They lack focus with poor composition, horrible choice of photos, lousy picture quality and lack of cropping skills. For Frasers hill they can just zoom on some random field with a few flower and expect tourists to go wow? Other posters featuring eco-tourism merely showcase some random riverbank and it just looked like an anti-pollution poster. Good God! Lets go cuti-cuti Malaysia! -- Regards, William

Finally cut my hair on Saturday after Jr. gave me a puzzled look at the Pre-VDay party regarding my unruly mop of hair ( yes, this is a flashback, at least I didn't blog about the party, :P ). KK, my regular stylist gave me a weary stare-- KK: I'm tired of your current hairstyle. Let's do something new. Ready to shave off the sides? Me: Err.... OK.. KK: Ohhh... my hands are itching to use the shaver! (revving the shaver with wild abandon, but not quite Edward Scissorhands la....) With that, he shaved off the sides and a chopped the back, leaving a triangular chunk. After he styled my hair, I walked over to meet my mum and SK at the nearby organic shop. Mum & SK: Wah! Organic Shop Uncle: Something exploded on your head? Me: -_-" More negative comments awaited me at the office. Colleague 1: Eh, why you cut so short la. I cannot accept la. Especially the back. Like samseng. Me: -_-" Client Big Boss: Your hair reminds me of when I was in primary school....

MelWedding1 Swiped from williamnyk . The next day, we woke up early and planned to attend mass at the nearby St. George Church only to find out at the last minute that it was an Anglican church. And so we scoured the tourist map to find an even nearer alternative-- The Cathedral of the Assumption, just beside St. Xavier's Institution. We made it for the 10:00am mass. It was an old church with the usual cross shape and vaulted ceiling, but what caught my eye was the checkered floor, two angels flanking the front door, the antique furniture, pipe organ and the confessional that was actually only a wooden partition surrounded by a metalwork of the Holy Spirit descending as a dove. Not many parishioners showed up, only 40% of the pews were filled ( and so the monetary offering was also quite mini-sized ). It was basically an opposition church -- during the sermon, the priest talked about passion and he linked it to Saudara Lim Kit Siang whom he said lives, breathes and bleeds...

I have recently put my foot on the accelerator in regards to my financial planning, with Jaded Jeremy as my invaluable co-driver. So far, he has evaluated my current situation and declared that I need to cover the gaps in my insurance coverage before I dip into investment. Therefore, I have been dealing with my current agent and trying to get heads or tails about the 'right' choices to make. Things have been confusing for me with jargon, concepts, benefits and premium tables being thrown around that's alien to me. And I guess having a BF in the related field only serves to muddle the situation further as he has an alternate approach. Maybe one could say that too many cooks spoil the soup. I'm on the verge of swearing off soup. Sigh. It's not that I don't appreciate the input, but I suddenly feel overloaded with information. At the end of the day, I can't expect people to make decisions on my behalf, I'll just have to soldier on, I guess. Thanks Jeremy an...

In my feverish daze yesterday, I sent my blog post to the wrong address, hence you're reading this right now. All is right again after seeing two doctors, and I'll be trudging to work tomorrow after one and half days of rest. I was super-bloated, felt like I had alien queen in me, waiting to finish gestating and burst out of my abdominal cavity. Well, it did burst out-- I barfed all over my living room floor. I felt so much better after that, but pai seh that SK had to clean that up. Thanks dear! -- Regards, William

UW I Swiped from williamnyk . Tagged, I was and here is the post. Tardy as usual. Hehe. As Apollo mentioned, I collect underwear and part of my collection is posted here for your viewing pleasure. I think I've been crazy about 'em ever since I was 7. I gained 8kg in the past year. :(. Stress and age? I came out at age 27. I lost my virginity at age 27. Took me 14 years to notice that my best friend was gay. I come from a national school background and only started speaking mandarin in university. I used to be terrified of driving. I can't ride a bicycle. Mine broke in half when I was 5 and I have never ridden on one ever since. I'm Roman Catholic convert. I was trying to reject my sexuality through religion, but in turn, I embraced both God and my sexuality. My father passed away of a myocardial infarction ( heart attack lo ) when I was 17. I'm an impatient bastard. I still work for the same IT company I joined after my graduation. I interned at the same co...