will i am's delayed diary

Swiped from RitchieBITCH Have you ever watched "The Teletubbies"? Yes, the kids show that is in the same infernal league as Barney. Another butch of Dukes from Hell who have set up shop in children's TV. We have Dipsy, Laa-Laa, Po and Tinky-Winky . All of 'em have distinct dildos on their heads and a TV on their bellies that play reruns of B-grade movies all day long. Rumour has it, the purple Teletubby, Tinky-Winky is gay! Haha. But just look at this pic I found in DeviantArt! If ever Bravo took over from BBC, things would look like this. Quite cool. I would definitely watch the show. If you still dunno what the heck I am talking about, do wiki 'em here. Don't say I did not warn you. P.S.: So,which DeviantArt Teletubby do you want to fuck?

IMG_8747 Swiped from mswine . Overheard at the Taman United Wet Market: Lady: Erm, do you know how to make wu tao kau yuk (braised pork with yam)? Vege Seller: Yeah. Lady: The yam need to steam first ah? Vege Seller: Not steam la. Fry. Lady: Fry the whole thing then cut ah? Vege Seller: >_____________<" That woman obviously spends more of her time at the nail bar rather than the kitchen! Fry the whole thing... :S. Oh my... I suddenly have a hankering for wu tao kau yuk .

In my room, I have a colour box where I keep my lube. In there is my favourite Durex Play and several other silicone oil-based lubes that were a gift from a good friend in Germany. For some reason, I prefer the water-based variety. Feels slicker and more slippery in comparison. And no matter how light it is, silicone oil still has that greasy feel. One day, I opened the cabinet to find that the blue tube was upside down. Perhaps I had put like that the other day, I thought to myself. Then the other day, while my mum was cooking, the truth came to light: "Aiyoh, the Cyan ah. After his bath, sure go up to your room and open your cabinet. He left it open the other day. I warned him that you would be angry if he didn't close it." Opppsss... Now I know that my little nephew had been removing my lube and playing with it while I'm at work. :S. Luckily my condoms are elsewhere!

KH prefers me to have short hair. No idea why. Personal preference. During my last trip to Singapore, I did not find the time to see my stylist, so my hair was thick and had a good length ( sounds like I'm talking about something else, XD ). When we made love, my hair poked him in the eyes a couple of times ( while some other poking was going on ). Now that I've dyed my hair, I'm gonna put off my haircut for several more weeks cause my colour can only survive 3.5 haircuts. Hehe. My baby will have to suffer my shaggy look for a bit longer! You don't mind right, baby? P.S.: Sorry la, cameras don't focus well on hair in macro mode!

My undergarments are all over the place. And I don't mean that I leave my underwear in strangers' rooms all over KL. They fill two small drawers to the brim and I have to use the bottom of my wardrobe to house the rest. Basically it's unorganized. In heaps. So I decided to make things more systematic to make it easier for me to find the desired type of underwear and make sure that all my babies are rotated. Completely cleared the drawers and started grouping by briefs and boxer briefs / square-cut trunks / boxers. Then I put the the recently-laundered items to one side. Then to make things more visible and to save space, I roll each pair and store it laterally. Now my drawer looks like a box of roses! :P. Took the opportunity to retire some unworn items too, like the jockstraps and pouch that I don't fancy wearing. Some are a bit too tight at the thighs ( celaka ), so I put them away until the day I gain sexier thighs. *sniff sniff*. Hopefully I can stick to this system

rambutan / nephelium lappaceum Swiped from neo studio . I am not a hairy person, but I do need to trim the nether regions once in a while. Especially true when anticipating sexual encounters with dear KH. Not so nice la welcoming him to an unkempt forest and having him coughing up hairballs after working his way through. So before my trip to Singapore, I whipped out my pair of safety scissors and started trimming my pubes. I'm definitely no Vidal Sassoon, but I think I did quite a great job. But when I started on my balls, I think was a little bit too zealous. Metal collided with delicate skin and ouch! Saw a drop of red blood forming on my left scrotum. Eeeeek. A near-Bobbit experience! Out came the tissues. Boy, that place sure can bleed. Put some Betadine on it and finished the job. Pheww. Perhaps I should consider a Boyzilian next time. Hehe.

Guitar Gary works in KL Sentral. He sports loads of yakuza-style tattooes on his arms. Whenever I see him on STAR LRT, he'd have his headphones on and his HTC Smart would no doubt be blasting guitar riffs. He'd be tapping his foot and his air guitar would appear. And when his air guitar is deemed insufficient, his hands would go for the stainless steel poles. His fingerwork would bring him snaking up and down. Reminds me of Jackie Chan in the movie "Snake in Eagle's Shadow". Itchy hands he has. Syok tak ? Do you have moments when you get carried away on the LRT? Raise your hand if you've pulled off any Matuatama stunt. Hehe.

Spotted at Restoran Chew Yang , Taman Puncak Jalil. Perhaps its a new species. A splice between a bean sprout and a ..................... ? Anybody?

Here's a spin-off from my LRT Celebrities series . The blogger version of my Saturday morning FB market updates. Enjoy. It's not very common to see PLUs at the morning wet market. A ( stereo )typical Friday night would most probably be spent hanging out with friends, and most would prefer to sleep in on Saturday. But once in a while, I do catch glimpses of domesticated couples who do actually go out to buy their groceries. Domesticated they might be, but they still dress to the nines just to buy some vegetables. Always fabulous. However, last Saturday, my gaydar picked up something interesting-- a queer rice merchant. He was sitting on a stool amongst sacks of grains and many aunties were jostling for his attention. Auntie 1: Uncle, uncle, is this fragrant rice? Rice Queen: Aiyoyo, I'm not uncle la! Auntie 2: Uncle, uncle, how much is this brown rice? Rice Queen: Not uncle! Not uncle! I not yet get married la! (he used the Chinese term for unmarried girls!) Auntie 1 whisper

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A couple of sweet-looking boys. In a few years, they'd be twinky enough to harvest I reckon. Sorry, I don't have any frontal shots for you to confirm that fact. Just take my word for it. But then, I'm not blogging about their looks actually... As you know, I've seen many shocking things on the LRT, but this somehow managed to make my jaw drop. The kid on the left was actually eating Maggi cup noodles. He was slurping away on the train! Must have bought it at a 7-11 nearby and by the time he had boarded, it was chow time! Amazing right? So Air Asia. And I thought eating nasi lemak on the train from the packet was news-worthy. Kids these days. The other day, another bunch from La Salle regaled me with their stimulating banter: Kid 1: Ona-ni! ONANI! ONANIIIIIIII! (while flapping his arms) Kid 2: Lancap! Kid 1: Onani. Onani. Onani. Onani. Onani. Onani. Onani. Classy, right? Lovely kids.

Check out this nifty prayer to be said before entering the loo! Spotted it in Bandar Seri Begawan. It is interesting to note that demons have a specific sex too! Lets hope this does not create a loop hole for asexual demons. Amen.

I'm sure you guys are getting sick of Bandar Seri Begawan already, so I'll put in a filler post. A break la katakan . Today's episode sees Gnome travelling to Angkor Wat . He's definitely fond of the topless Apsaras, the horny old bastard. Not really my choice of a holiday destination ( neither are topless Apsaras ). I can imagine the itinerary: Day 1: Ruins. Day 2: More ruins. Day 3: Ruins with faces. Day 4: Batu. Tanah. Pasir. You get the picture. :P. But KH and Nic did manage to 'persuade' me to go to Borbodur in September. Ish. And hikes at Mount Merapi at 3:00am! WTF. What am I getting myself into?!

I have been taking notice of this DJ from RED FM... from his recent pictures in The Star, he does look kinda cute to me! A bit nerdy, but so fresh-faced and fair. A nice smile too! Too bad there aren't many of his pictures on the internet. Perhaps SimonLover can dig up some more. Perhaps he'll even find a skanky pic or two. LOL. Have not listened to his voice over the radio yet. But got to admit, this pic on their website doesn't quite do him justice. Makes him look really thin. What do you guys think?

There are actually two differences. But I'm not sure if you can detect it from the picture. Let the games begin!

Yin Yang Star Back Tattoo Swiped from David Schexnaydre . All of my female colleagues have either resigned or had been transferred out, leaving only guys in my team. An imbalance has occurred. Now, my colleagues like to touch each other, tweaking each other's nipples and caressing thighs... even at the public food court. I am... shocked and amused at the same time. Hehehehe. WAKAKAKAKAKA. Straight men. Hah!

I hate to admit this, but I think I really have too many pairs of underwear . I try to rotate my collection so that none of my babies are neglected and I find that it takes me more than 2 months to see a familiar face. Some I had even forgotten about. Hehe. And I still have unworn stock in my drawers!!! And KH also contributes to my stash. And as for swim trunks, I have 5 pairs at the moment! Although its nice to get an honourable mention ( that post of his really boosted the visitors to my blog! ), I think really have to stop buying for now. But... before that, lemme introduce some of the newcomers! :P

My colleague says that I have a weird habit. I would stir my cup with my teaspoon although all I have in it is warm water. Is that so weird?

Alex was telling me the other day that he wants to learn how to swim. Since he's more comfortable with professional instructors ( it is more sensible ), I suggested that he scout the public pools around his area for classes. Just a few days after that, lo and behold, I find this search phrase in my search engine hit log: cute gay swimming instructor in KL I immediately ask Alex, "Was that you?!". Of course he denied it. Hehe. If your instructor is cute, would you learn faster or slower? :P

Wish You Luck Swiped from amy (mndcakes_penang) . I suddenly had high motivation to buy 4D from a receipt number I had received: 3335 I bought all permutations for MYR2 at Magnum, Da Ma Cai and Toto on Saturday and Sunday. I did not strike. Come Wednesday, I decided not to buy. On Thursday, my mum pointed it out to me. Toto ~ 5333 ~ Consolation Prize MYR100 terbang .... T_T