Drunken Dinner

Golf, swiped from williamnyk on Flickr.

My company's annual dinner is usually a CNY affair. However, last minute arrangements (one week to get employees to RSVP!) cause it to be put on the back-burner and rescheduled till March. And so, it was downgraded from One World Hotel to Tai Thong at Tropicana Golf Club. Plus, there goes our ang pau! True to past experience, they also put it on a work day... Thursday night. So just to get there to register on time for the lucky draw, employees had to leave work a bit earlier. But still, the traffic was a bit of a challenge. At the entrance to Tropicana we were greeted by a guard post manned by guys with semi-automatic weapons. My colleague had drove into the resident's lane:

Guard: Lain kali ikut lorong kiri.

Moi: OK, tahun depan.

There was a total eighty tables at the banquet. It's always scary to see that many of my colleagues in one place. And there are plenty more for decided to skip the dinner or were overseas. Food was quite typical and some people will be happy to hear that instead of sharks fin soup, fish lips soup was served. Didn't see any lipstick in the bowls though. Quite uneventful and boring this year with zero performances and just thirty lucky draw prizes for so many people. However, someone did provide the entertainment. A employee from my Chairman's latest company acquisition was already drunk on beer by the second dish. He was so loud that the the whole banquet hall could hear him and look over. Worse of all, my team had been spending some time at his office and he recognized us. And worst of all, my colleagues encouraged him.

They called him over and poured drink for him. Goading him. Mr. Wuxia actually drank beer from a bowl! He made a huge ruckus at my table, talking loudly, showing off some kung fu moves before proceeding to gyrate his hips with his hands behind his head with wild abandon. And when he was done with that, he humped the table, banging his crotch against the edge of the table, causing the table to rock a little. And right in front of my female colleagues. He disappeared for a while before coming back with the table napkin wrapped around his neck like a cowboy. Continued to drink and be boisterous. Even tried to down a jug of beer at one go. Rushed off to the toilet immediately after that, no doubt to vomit.

By the end of the night, most of the people at my table had disappeared for the fear of association. People actually thought that he was part of my team. What a way to make an impression. At the end of the night, my boss asked him whether he was OK:

Mr. Wuxia: I'm OK la! If got roadblock ma give $20 lo!

My Boss: Errr... OK.

Mr. Wuxia: You know what? I was recently in Singapore for two weeks for week... I'm bloody ITCHY (mandarin slang for horny) now!

My Boss: ....

Mr. Wuxia: I wanna go Brickfields now to get some prostitues!

My Boss: Bye.

'nuff said.