will i am's delayed diary

Hard boiled Swiped from evilmidori . Remember Egg , my psycho stalker from university? Well, after a short remission, she's at it again. Out of the blue, she asked me for my house address via SMS. Reason: to send me 'something'. Alarm bells were ringing in my head. Scenes of her zooming up and down the street in front of my house in her Kancil flashes before me. No way am I giving her my address. So I give her the runaround. Moi: Wanna send me wedding invitation ah? Egg: Yalar my wedding invitation... Moi: (WHAT?!) Congratulations! Do I know your husband to be? By this time, I was busy calling SK and Mel to share the shocking news. Both of them were dumbstruck and could not believe it! Egg: Write mr n mrs or mr only? 2 come or 1 come la? Let me know then send me your address yah. ;). Cya around! Moi: Wei, normal case not tell me date and venue before send one meh? Egg: Next year after CNY. I busy la. I think u bzy too. Remember txt me ur add yah. Susah nak ajak u l...

Rosemary Bites I Swiped from williamnyk . Sunday Mass was very quiet with a lot of parishioners away for the long weekend. Being sick of all the usual options for lunch, we decided on Rosemary Bites at Aman Suria. A rarity that we had western. It's actually all-star american-style cooking that was recommended by TZ. I ordered the Texas Double Cheese Burger ( juicy beef patty made from scratch with generous cheese ), while mum had the roasted chicken with BBQ sauce. SK chose spicy pasta at a very cheap price or MYR9.90! Quite hard to beat. Washed it down with a glass of Rosemary lime-- don't try it if you cannot accept drinking a herbal infusion. An acquired taste. Food is of good quality at competitive prices. Interesting to note is the whole place seems to be run by young boys. For tea, we shared a packet of prawn noodles that mum had bought from an old man on a bicycle at Kg. Chempaka. Quite good too, if not a bit salty. To burn off the calories ( surely a net gain, heh...

Clear Soup Swiped from williamnyk . Without fail, we were at the wet market again. Noticably less stalls were open, no doubt due to the fact the suppliers were busy celebrating Raya. However, it did not quite put a dent in the crowd. Somehow or rather substitues would be manning the empty slots. Nothing goes to waste. The vegetable seller not open? Don't worry, her stall is taken over by the bra and panties lady. Chicken seller not there? Out comes several salesmen pushing non-slip mats and blenders. Always bustling. But something super sensational today. Some PRC guy was selling a 'magical' Shaolin remedy for aches and pains. He had of pictures of himself with Jackie Chan and Jet Li but at very low quality. Seemed like such a con job. But that wasn't what caught my eye-- it was the remedy itself. He poured some of the yellow medicated oil onto a guys hand... and it started smoking! WTF! So wuxia ! But on TV, such smoke can only mean one thing-- POISON! :P. Breakfast...

Note: It's still Syawal, so I have every right to post this. :P Raya. A beautiful period when the roads are clear and the neighbours are away. This year, I did not attend any open houses. Just woke up early for breakfast with mum at the nearby foodcourt. After which mum went to have her long overdue facial. On the other hand, SK and I headed for her new place to do some preliminary cleanup. Lots and lots of dust. Her place is already 95% complete with all the major works completed. Just left some touch up. Had a late lunch at Restoran YTF Puchong . Ordered seventeen pieces. Whoah. Should not have ordered the white rice. Back home, I had wanted to nap, but was interrupted by a visit from Mel and her hubby. So we went over to Jusco Taman Equine to help her choose some maternity clothes. She doesn't look blimpy at all really. Having settled that, we had dinner together at the same foodcourt in the morning, but with a twist-- there was no electricity. We still managed to eat though...

Opposites Swiped from williamnyk . Whenever mum's away, SK and I usually attend the English mass that is earlier in the morning. It maximizes one's Sunday. Breakfast was Restoran 747 again, but this time we were joined by Carpe Diem and Bunny. Heaved a sigh pf relief that Bunny managed to find the place without any incident. JJ did not manage to join because he was sick. Right after breakfast, Carpe Diem followed us back to Bandar Kinrara to view SK's unit. Gave his thoughts and some ideas for home improvement. Really appreciate that. Then off we went to the furniture shop at 1Puchong ( yes, the name is so UGH ) to pick up mum's new nyatoh coffee table. I was supposed to take my sister's Toyota Avanza to pick up that piece of wood, but she left me the Ford Frontier instead. That's too macho a 4WD for me to drive so I dismantled the Proton Iswara's boot instead. Upon reaching the shop, we found that they had not wrapped the table for us yet. And the...

Tessy's Poorly Thumb Swiped from John the Scone . Hi guys and gals! I'm back from my getaway with KH and a couple of friends. Here's a filler post before I get things revved up again, k? Miss y'all! While drinking some Roselle tea after dinner one night, mum brought up an old topic from my childhood-- my bro getting his hand burnt in an accident. Why was this brought up? Well, mum was reading the news and in it was an article where a woman burnt her hand from an explosion that was caused by an attempt to burn a perfume bottle. Quite the same for my brother, just that in his case, it was a bottle of brandy. My mother was surprised that I knew as I was still quite young at the time. "Of course I remember. I was there. I was the one who suggested that he stuff a piece of burning paper into the bottle. :P" Wakakaka. Quite the little devil wasn't I? Nobody knew anything. I did not say anything. My brother did not say anything. Took more than twenty ye...

Caged Buddhas High in the Temple in Borobudur Swiped from Stuck in Customs . Dear readers, I'll be off for nearly a week, so don't miss me too much. :). Will be flying between Kuala Lumpur, Singapore and Jogjakarta in this period of absence. Just a short break with KH and another couple. A double date of sorts in the cultural heart of Indonesia. I promise to take lots of pictures and have lots of sex, k? XD. Love, William

One Word Poster: Private Swiped from dubccc . The latest couple of Japanese pornographic movies that I downloaded had a similarity that I did not notice from other production houses. Obviously, I'm not pointing out sucking, fucking and what not. That is given. The movie from Surprise had scenes where the guy giving a blowjob paused a while to remove pubic hair from his mouth... Yes, it is bound to happen unless the person you're blowing is a pak cham kai ( like Evann admitted, :P ). That is also why I trim before my conjugal visits to Singapore. But frankly, it somehow puts a dash of realism in the sex act. Not everything goes so smoothly and beautifully from start to end like we are made to believe through the magic of film editing. Cocks never get soft. The hole is always ready to receive. Climaxes happen together giving even olympic synchronized divers a run for their money. So, any other type of realism that you would like porn directors to include or exclude even?

Klang Delights Swiped from williamnyk . On Saturday, SK sent mum out to church in the wee hours of the morning so that she could catch the bus to Pangkor. A senior citizen trip of sorts. As the renovations were still on-going, I stayed at home to keep an eye on things. I entertained myself by moving my laptop to the living room and watching episode after episode of "Naruto Shippuuden". So kan cheong watching the Naruto vs. Pain battles. SK came home with breakfast from a famous fishball noodle shop in Taman United. I shall not name it because it really sucked. Big time. Soggy noodles in sweet soup. And the fishballs were nothing to shout about. Expensive pulak tu ! Later, SK went out again. This time for her TCM appointment. She came home with lunch from a vegetarian shop in OUG. Cheap, delicious and healthful mixed rice! At around 4:30pm, the workers packed up and left. We did a quick clean up as mum's super-sensitive about the dust. Had another Klang Makan-Mak...

A special variation of my LRT Celebrities series-- something I caught on the road. See that super bling-ed steering wheel with red sequins? Really stands out in her blue Viva. See how it sparkles... I really don't how she drives with such a thing on her steering wheel. Imagine sheathing yourself with a rhinestone-studded condom. And wouldn't she be distracted by all that glitter? It kinda passes as something a drag queen might use. Or she could 'pimp' things up with a disco ball hanging at her rear view mirror. So, is your steering wheel accessorized? Is your car colonized by soft toys? Does it resemble a display corner at World of Feng Shui? Please share. :).

... your funeral would be like this? Swiped from █▓▒░AT░▒▓█ . Wednesday night after work, mum told me that a church friend's mother-in-law had passed away. So we finished up dinner and immediately headed to OUG. Was quite surprised to find a funeral service going on at the house. I had thought that the deceased was Taoist. Turns out that she had converted 2 minutes before passing away at the hospice ( before this, her daughter-in-law cared for her, clean and tube-fed her at home... even her own daughter did not ). For 30 years, her Catholic daughter-in-law couldn't convince her, but on her deathbed, the Methodist volunteers saved her soul. That's some way to 'close a sale'. :P. Anyway, sat through half of the service and ate some peanuts. Such a standard for Chinese funerals. Later on, we gathered around the coffin and did our little own prayer session. One of the BEC members fished a little booklet out of her handbag, but wasn't keen on leading, so SK ...

, KFC Swiped from WahaM - ♥QбŘ♥ . My Merdeka Day was spent at the shopping mall. MV to be exact. Arrived before 10:30am, so there was ample parking. Our first stop was Club Monaco and SK already immediately bought something. Shopping comes naturally to her. :S. Next, we were at Bimba & Lola. With 70% off store-wide, most of the good stuff was already snatched up. At Isetan, mum bought a pair of pants and had it altered for free. One of the many perks of the IMC card. Also bought some groceries which I later lugged back to the car which was at the Robinsons side... Ugh. Then I zoomed over to the old wing. Was supposed to meet SK at Best Denki. I had forgotten that one can only get down to LG via center court, so I had to double back... So annoying navigating the crowds. Bah. And halfway to Best Denki, I felt like strangling DiGi's YCF because the line kept breaking up. When I finally got through, I found out that SK had moved on to Harvey Norman! Argh. I quickly made a U-turn...

Nagasari Swiped from williamnyk . Last Monday, SK had joined me for lunch as she was on leave to settle some stuff with EPF. Lunch was supposed to be at Restoran Kheng Heong at The Pines, but that didn't happen because the whole row is being torn down. Several of the staff were there and we asked whether they were reopening somewhere else. They seemed uncertain. Read in The Star Metro that DBKL had allocated them a piece of land at Lorong Chan Ah Tong, but I'm not quite sure where that is. Another place for good and cheap food closed down.. oh well, satu lagi projek Barisan Nasional . Since we were already there, we walked down the road to have lunch at Nagasari . My first time there. Was kinda at a lost on what to eat until the proprietess came along and asked me to try their exclusive chicken tosai. How novel! SK ordered their naan set. The tosai was quite good! Better than most murtabak I had eaten in KL. Truth be told, it is good enough without the gravy. Do give ...

Iron Rice Bowl Swiped from Rob-Shanghai . Is it true that if you're in the civil service, you're shielded from punishment according to the law? You can say and do what you want because the government does not want to lose face. It's great that prosecution and jail time can be substituted with a mild rap on the hand in the form of "displinary" action. A while later when the issue has died down, you're back on track and in for a promotion even! Sugei!

Gasping for success Swiped from The Pylon . Last Sunday, my swim was joined by two indian kids who were there with their father. They would be swimming, while their dad just observed from the side. What amused me was the way they swam. Flailing and gasping for air on every stroke. Sink. Gasp. Crawl. Sink. Gasp. Crawl. For the backstroke, their heads were sugmerged half of the time. I wonder how much chlorine water they drank. It was exhausting watching them do it. And yet, they did it for many laps. To me it seemed like some kind of perverse enjoyment. I tried demonstrating to them how leisurely a swim could be, but the kid did not get the point. Tried to tell him to hold in the air, but he looked at me blankly and gave me a thumbs up, prompting that we should race. Can't help to think that perhaps I am going through life like those kids right now. Flailing through life. Struggling. When will be a slow and leisurely swim? Minimum effort with maximum gains. Oh well, enough ...

Braun Buffel Swiped from williamnyk . Last Saturday, I could wake up a bit later cause mum wanted me to stay home to monitor the contractor. The Indonesian worker came at around 8:00am and started work not long after. I still had not entirely wiped the sleep from my eyes, so I just lazed on the sofa watching Rice Rhapsody on my iPhone. Not really very entertaining but it helped me pass the time. A good friend of mine once recommended that I ask my mother watch the movie. I wonder if she'd be receptive. Heh. Two hours and five wheelbarrows later, the worker left for another site to work. Ugh. Mum and SK came home not later bringing breakfast! Had a mixture curry mee, wantan noodles and nasi lemak. Work only resumed at 3:00pm. But at least another worker came along to speed up the digging. At around 3:30pm, CCC came over and we went out to the nearby Giant to visit the spectacle shop. It was an emergency because the spectacle leg had rusted off in the sleeve and he's quite bl...

Food Junction Swiped from Yves Florack . Last Friday, I had lunch at MV Food Junction for the first time in perhaps 5 years. I never had good memories of the place. I remember it as being forever devoid of available tables and the food so-so. But thanks to the fasting month, my revisit was made easier and more pleasant. Had a facelift too. Perhaps I shall blog about this in another 5 years. :P. If you're bored enough, or you're a psychic~ guess what I ate. :P P.S.: The pic above is from Singapore, not KL. :P

Doctor Fish-Vietnam e dintorni Swiped from albyf1948 . Being a supposed 'straight' guy in office lets me participate in my male colleague's talk on women and cars. Intercooler, Type R, turbo, blah, blah, blah, pretty girls, boobs. Yes, SO BORING right? But I could do boobs. I am not bothered with how pretty a girl is, but I do like to point out subjects of interest to my colleagues while my eyes are roving for cute guys. Just the other day, Lan was regaling us with his visit to a fish spa nestled in a seedy hotel somewhere in KL: Moi: So, How long were you at this 'fish spa'? Lan: From 10:00am till 8:00pm. Moi: (nearly choking on my kopi c) What?! What the hell did you do for 10 hours?! Lan: Well...... We soaked in the baths and used the fish spa. Sat in the jacuzzi. Then near lunch time, we went upstairs to the restaurant for lunch. Food was free. Can order anything you like. At the restaurant is where the action is. The pimps would be there soliciting business...