After the Storm
How often is it that we knock into someone at the mall and we instinctively say, "I'm sorry", without even making a conscious, sometimes even neglecting the slightest of eye contact. How sincere is that apology. Or is it just something that has been drummed into our putty-like minds when we were young. Perhaps just a facade, a defence mechanism we use to shut the wronged party up, to avoid persecution. But then, it might not always work. Sometimes even after delivering the sincerest of apologies, with eyes full of regret, the wronged party glares at us, signalling that "sorry" is really a sorry sight indeed. "Sorry no cure" so to speak. But in such cases, it can't be helped. We have done our part, and if they do not want to grant the absolution, we can only pray they will in the future to release that grudge.
I forgive you and please forgive me.
In love it is quite a different story. I have once discussed with KH that in love, one does not need to say I'm sorry. He disagreed with me. Somehow or rather, it seems the appropiate thing to do achieve a sense of closure on the matter. To make the wrong right again. However, in love, to talk of right and wrong is quite an exercise in futility. Who is to say who has wronged who. Do we not put ourselves in the situation? Do we not see the signs and chose to ignore them? Do we not make the promise that we would not pursue the matter? Do we not say "I love you no matter what"? There is no objectivity in the matter. There is only emotion. Raw emotion. And more often that not, it defies exlanation.
Grant both of us the wisdom.
As such, external parties look at things with rational eyes, whereas the participants in a relationship have rose-tinted vision so to speak. And how easy that rose tint turns blood red when things go awry. When tensions mount; when expectations are not met; when the bubble bursts; when reality sets in. Observers would give seemingly sound advice, but to the participants, they make no sense. As such, trying to apply logic into love can spell disaster. That is why sometimes, the worst harm can come from the best intentions. But the human soul is unpredictable... We can only make a conjecture on the actions of others. We can justify, we can accuse, but at the end of the day, we end up with more questions than answers.
Whatever the reason, whatever the motive- thank you for bringing things to the light.
I remember something from a book I read ages ago- Beth Yap's Crocodile Fury and a phrase goes something like this:
"...Grandmother said that unfinished business always comes back. It will follow a woman through her wet and dry seasons. And when you least expect it, it pays you back tenfold..."
I have now come to see the truth in this. I fear it. Something so far back in the mind. A passing shadow. A dream. A nightmare made real. But still, we must face it and prevail.
We shall get through this.
On a final note:
No wind is blowing, it is but the hearts of men that is in turmoil.
A good lesson to learn. And my heart is at peace now. :)
I forgive you and please forgive me.
In love it is quite a different story. I have once discussed with KH that in love, one does not need to say I'm sorry. He disagreed with me. Somehow or rather, it seems the appropiate thing to do achieve a sense of closure on the matter. To make the wrong right again. However, in love, to talk of right and wrong is quite an exercise in futility. Who is to say who has wronged who. Do we not put ourselves in the situation? Do we not see the signs and chose to ignore them? Do we not make the promise that we would not pursue the matter? Do we not say "I love you no matter what"? There is no objectivity in the matter. There is only emotion. Raw emotion. And more often that not, it defies exlanation.
Grant both of us the wisdom.
As such, external parties look at things with rational eyes, whereas the participants in a relationship have rose-tinted vision so to speak. And how easy that rose tint turns blood red when things go awry. When tensions mount; when expectations are not met; when the bubble bursts; when reality sets in. Observers would give seemingly sound advice, but to the participants, they make no sense. As such, trying to apply logic into love can spell disaster. That is why sometimes, the worst harm can come from the best intentions. But the human soul is unpredictable... We can only make a conjecture on the actions of others. We can justify, we can accuse, but at the end of the day, we end up with more questions than answers.
Whatever the reason, whatever the motive- thank you for bringing things to the light.
I remember something from a book I read ages ago- Beth Yap's Crocodile Fury and a phrase goes something like this:
"...Grandmother said that unfinished business always comes back. It will follow a woman through her wet and dry seasons. And when you least expect it, it pays you back tenfold..."
I have now come to see the truth in this. I fear it. Something so far back in the mind. A passing shadow. A dream. A nightmare made real. But still, we must face it and prevail.
We shall get through this.
On a final note:
No wind is blowing, it is but the hearts of men that is in turmoil.
A good lesson to learn. And my heart is at peace now. :)
Comments
To me, it means that I take responsibility for what I have done. Though sorry it's just a word and actions speak louder, the word sorry signals the beginning of remorse and actions to be be followed later.
I am glad you have think things through. Though I understand where you're coming from about "in love, to talk of right and wrong is quite an exercise in futility", there is still right and wrong.
Like when one ignores the feelings of the other or said something hurtful in rage.
*hugs*
So screwed up. Heh.
@Anon:
And yet we move on. :)
@Ban:
Agreed! :D
@Allan & Nigel:
Thanks for stopping by.