will i am's delayed diary

Mother and joey Swiped from ѕhadowdancer . A couple of Sundays back, SK and I unwittingly ended up at a health fair organized by those dodgy clinic cum health care consultancies. Loads of people were there and there was some talk going on with lots of food outside. As I had to wait for my mum and her friends to arrive, we decided to go in and register ourselves. After walking past the crowds and posters of diseased female nether regions, we arrived at the registration counter. The woman in the lab coat passed SK a form to fill without hardly looking up. I was standing at ther side when the woman suddenly asked: "Your son ah?" I laughed out loud!!! "Err, your boyfriend ah?" I told her to speak no more. SK was fuming and did not even acknowledge she ever spoke. Hehe. Looks like I have a new mummy!

SingaporeHols200907 Swiped from williamnyk . Being the "slut" ( according to my son DanielH and ThompsonBoy ), I was in Singapore for another Ironing trip. Once again, I flew via JetStar ( compliments of KH ) and arrived in Changi at around 5:00pm. POD was there to greet me as the rest were working. In the cab: POD: You're cooking tonight, right? Moi: What?! I had the impression that YOU were cooking. Thought that I was playing a secondary role. POD: Errr.... KH told me YOU were cooking leh. Moi: I think KH pulled a fast one on us. So ganas, just arrived already immediately set me up to work in the kitchen. To cook for 6! Sniff. Sniff. Upon arrival at JJ's place, I put down my luggage and immediately brought POD to the nearby NTUC Fairprice at Eastpoint Mall for some grocery shopping. The menu was curry chicken, stir-fried vegetables and sweet and sour fish. There is an interesting story about the fish too: POD: Wei, JJ asked to cook his fish. He bought it s

x-ray image Swiped from wu.peng . Since before my Melbourne trip, mum had been complaining about a stiffness in her neck. Kinda brushed it off as salah bantal , but when it didn't go away for 2 months, mum got a bit worried. Chiropractors and sinseh 's failed to improve the condition. And so, we ended up at Tung Shin to see an orthopaedic surgeon, Dr. Low. Upon arrival at the hospital, our temperature was taken and a sticker was given to mark us as potentially H1N1-free. Amazingly, his clinic opens at 9:00am and he's actually there! After consultation and an X-ray, he declared that my mum has bone spurs at her fourth and fifth cervical vertebrae. They look like little protrusions from the edge of the bone. He prescibed some NSAIDs, painkillers and glucosamine and also encouraged her to do exercises to loosen her neck muscles. Mum's feeling better now and she does not touch her neck so often anymore. Hope it improves more!

Celcom Broadband Swiped from Girllyen . When I see newspaper ads that proclaim TM the winner of "Best Internet Service Provider" awards and what not, I let out a bitter laugh. Meaningless as they are a monopoly. From all the problems that my sister and SK complain about and the multitudes of irate letters I see in The Star, it takes no genius to conclude that Streamyx is crap. Celcom being the subsidiary is also naturally crappy. I e-mailed them about Celcom Broadband coverage in my area and I must say that their customer service is impeccable. It took their automated system 11 minutes to reply my e-mail, promising a reply soon. After a week ( soon hor? ), they replied and asked me to furnish them MORE details although I already gave them my street address. And in the e-mail they even provided me with an alternative to check SMS. Text "BROADBAND HERE" kononnya . The number was rejected by DiGi. It took them another 2 weeks later to call me with the GOOD NEW

Cyan's Birthday Tray Swiped from williamnyk . When I turned 1 ( some 28 years ago ), my mum cooked up a storm and invited the neighbours. I had a birthday cake in the shape of the numeral "1"! Back then, THAT was a big deal. Well, my nephew Cyan turned 1 lately and his parents threw him a party with about fifty guests. Got the caterers to handle everything. The food was quite good and there was even a satay stall. Being my sister's favourite, the birthday cake turned out to be a brownie from Secret Recipe. Each slice was completed with a giant scoop of vanilla ice cream. Sinful. An interesting part of the festivities included a ritual of "choices". Several items were put in a tray in front of him, and he was allowed to grab the stuff that caught his eye. Chicken drumstick ( aku suka makan? ) Ruler ( future engineer? ) Book ( scholar? ) Pencil ( writer? ) Rubber stamp ( official? ) Calculator ( accountant? ) Credit Card ( businessman? ) FYI, the fir

KL Chinatown : Pork butcher (4) Swiped from Liyin the Designer in Pajamas . Note: A caveat for my Muslim readers-- Kerbau Pendek ahead. There's this butcher at the Taman United wet market who is super nice to his female helper. Even with the sleep not yet rub off from your eyes, just a slight taste of their conversation can immediately wake you up and set your bulu roma to attention: PoP: Ming, Ah Ming. Help me collect MYR30 from the auntie. Emmmmmmm koi.... PoP: Ming, Ah Ming. Please help me keep 2 kidneys for the auntie. Emmmmm koi.... Auntie: (rolls her eyes) Aiyoh! Suffix, postfix also em koi, em koi, em koi. Beh tahan.... I think after many complaints and comments from his customers, he has stopped doing it of late. Market courtship or gentlemanly conduct? Whatever the case, it's a pity that we let others dictate how we want to show our affection le... hehe

Melaka2009051 Swiped from williamnyk . Note: A little something that happened ages ago... Enjoy! Usually, I would go to Singapore ( once in a while ) or KH would travel back home to KL ( the ommon case ) and we would have our reunion. This time round, we took another approach-- meeting somewhere in the middle. POD had planned a JJCM ( eat, eat, eat ) trip to Melaka, so we met there over the weekend. SK and I drove down from KL, while POD, Nic, JJ and KH rented a car from JB. Initially, we had planned to meet at noon, but due to some unexpected delays with the car rental agency ( Avis sucks ), SK and I suddenly had 3 hours to burn in Melaka. At first, we spent some time walking around Melaka Mall . Horrible. Luckily, she managed to get hold of an old friend from her uni days ( the chap's nick is Mosquito! ) and he took us for lunch in town. Dirt cheap and delicious-- char siew , roast pork, scrambled eggs, pickled vegetables and beancurd only came to MYR12, inclusive of dri

Dorayaki Boy Swiped from williamnyk . Overheard in Kampachi , The Pavilion: Woman: I'll have the Kakiage Don set. Waiter: Very good, miss. (after 15 minutes) Waiter: Here's your Kakiage Don. Woman: ( looking hither and thither ) Where's the rice? Waiter: (pointing towards the bowl) ...... under the Kakiage ..... The food at Kampachi ( of Equatorial Hotel ) is quite good, but I must say that the waitresses they employ could have been a little less Chinese-restaurant-y. Prices are quite fair at about MYR40 and above for dinner sets. The Chirashi Don that I ordered was nice, with quality fish and seaweed. The hojicha is good too. Give it a try.

Melbourne20090410 Swiped from williamnyk . Once again, we checked out and loaded everything into the Tarrago. Breakfast was eggs benedict with hollondaise sauce at a nearby diner. We backtracked to the Twelve Apostles again as my bro-in-law wanted to pictures of it in better lighting conditions. After that, we stopped at London Bridge . Another product of erosion from the waves. It looks nothing like London Bridge of course, unless you down a couple of psychotropic pills. It was a nice sight anyway. Next was The Arch . It was fun looking at how the strong waves pushed a big hole into the limestone. Another breathtaking sight. Loch Ard Gorge was last on our list. It was the site of a famous shipwreck were only 2 people survived. From the way things were, it was easy to imagine how the ships were downed by the cliffs and boulders in the area. We had to rush back to Melbourne to take our flight, so we bid the Great Ocean Road farewell and took the shorter inland road back via Co

Melbourne2009049 Swiped from williamnyk . First thing in the morning, we checked out of our apartment and lugged everything into the Tarrago. The GPS was set to Torquay and "avoid toll roads" and we were on our way. Breakfast was at Anglesea , where the sea supposedly meets the bush. Had breakfast of a quiche lorraine , apple strudel and a heavenly chocolate mousse for mum's birthday. I had a hard time trying to communicate with the girl at the bakery: Me: Can you get me a fork? Girl: What? Me: A fork. Girl: A what? Me: F-O-R-K. Girl: Oh, a foRRk. Must have been that my Klingon had a Malaysian accent. Mum did some shopping at the local Salvation Army Thrift Shop, can you believe it? From there on, we had hit the Great Ocean Road, a super-winding, scenic road that takes you real close to the South Australian coastline. One lane up. One lane down. With overtaking bays that allow for slower vehicles to turn in as to give way. They double as lookout points too. Fantasti

Melbourne2009047 Swiped from williamnyk . Early in the morning, bro-in-law and I took a brisk morning walk to Franklin Street to collect our Toyota Tarrago ( that's Estima to us ) from the people at Hertz. After they explained everything to us, we drove back to Flinders Lane to pick up the rest. The drive out to Phillip Island was quite pleasant in the large vehicle since my little nephew needed so much ka chang . And the GPS made things a lot easier and harder at the same time. Heather/Susan: Bear left! Bear right! Make a sharp left turn! Traffic control! You have reached your destination It was quite a challenge referring to the GPS, looking out for traffic and pedestrians and watching your speed. And so, I took on the job as navigator. Such a redundant job hor? Hehe. We arrived in about less than 2 hours with a short breakfast stop at a diner in Pelican Bay . The island is quite picturesque with Windows XP default wallpaper-like scenery. Sheep. Cows. Vineyards. The wo

gravitation Swiped from Tsuki Aoi . Note: A little breather from my Melbourne series. Wanted to post this since my last Singpore trip! When I copied the anime "Gravitation" from KH, he merely told me that it was about a music band. A simple and mundane as an anime about baking bread, playing football or catching beetles ( I'm sure it exists ). Me being me, I finished the porn first before moving on to it. The squeeze of boredom. But after watching the first episode, I was pleasantly surprised! "Gravitation" turns out to be a "boys' love" anime! Quite the classic recipe of annoying, clingy brat falls for the brooding and handsome older guy. Shuichi is the lead singer of "Bad Luck" and he falls in love with a famous romance novelist, Yuki. Shuichi is portrayed as confused and Yuki carries enough emotional baggage to fill an Airbus. Most of the early episodes end with Yuki and Shuichi in some kind of "action". Throw in som

Melbourne20090423 Swiped from williamnyk . On Sunday, mum and I took a gamble and went out to St. Patrick's Church hoping to be on time for mass. We hopped on the tram and in no time reached the Mother Church of the Melbourne Archdiocese. Turns out that we were in time. The cathedral was quite a sight. Not as ornate as St. Paul's, but it has its appeal. Not many parishioners were there as expected and around half of those celebrating the eucharist were tourists. After mass, we took pictures inside the church but we later found out that it was not allowed! Adoi ! But we had more fun cam-whoring outside anyway. :P. At the side, there's a statue of Mother Mary holding aloft a crown of thorns ( interesting to note that earlier in the morning, I spied a stick-on grafitti of the Virgin Mary baring her boobs ). And in Her sleeve, a JVC camcorder was slotted in! I don't know if that's vandalism, art or a security camera. Out of the blue, more than 20 altar boys su

Melbourne2009044 Swiped from williamnyk . Saturday was reserved for the Queen Victoria Market . It was only mum, sis and I as my bro-in-law went to the Melbourne Zoo for their African animal exhibits. For the first time, we boarded the City Circle Tram , an old style tram that runs around the perimeter of the CBD for free. A very touristy thing with a pre-recorded guided tour of virtually every tram stop ( a tram stop is usually just somewhere in the middle of a road ). Walking from the stop near William Street ( it's great having a street named after you ), we passed by the Flagstaff Gardens and arrived at the market in no time ( but we later discovered that it was faster to walk from Flinders Street ). QVM is actually just like Jatujak Market in Bangkok, only less dense, less chaotic and a more pleasant place to shop due to the cool weather. Standard wares-- souveniers, Ugg boots ( warm-looking, fugly boots ), other sheep fur products, clothes, crafts, food, fresh produc

Melbourne2009048 Swiped from williamnyk . For some unknown reason, my bro-in-law is an animal freak. He loves the zoo. And so, we ended up a Flinders Street Station ( during morning rush hour no less ) to catch an hour's train ( KTM Komuter! ) to Lilydale and subsequently an hour on the bus to the Healesville Animal Sanctuary ( the helpful people at The i gave us a perfect itinerary of connecting rides ). The further one gets out from Melbourne, the more apparent the graffitti becomes. The sanctuary features 200 species of animals in a natural bushland habitat, but I don't think I even saw 50. The animals were shy? Too well camouflaged? They turned into icicles in the cold weather? Whatever it was, we were quite disappointed. But, we did get to see the kangaroos, emus, koalas, dinghos, Tasmanian Devils ( endangered due to an infectious oral cancer! ), platypi, raptors, etc. Lunch was a hearty meal of red wine beef stew with rice at the Sanctuary Cafe. In our suaku -ne

Melbourne20090417 Swiped from williamnyk . The first proper day at Melbourne cannot be summed up easily. We were still trying to find our bearings as the itinerary was quite imaginary. It was very random. First thing in the morning, we fried bacon, eggs and sausages for breakfast. After filling our tummies, we headed for the nearby Federation Square to seek out the Melbourne Visitor Centre ( affectionately known as "The i" ) for a headstart. Each town of any tourism value has one and the staff are extremely helpful. I tried to take in everything. The cool air in my face. The mess of wires that give life to the trams that share the road with the other vehicles. The orderly block style of the city with its many lanes, nooks and crannies. The uniqueness of every building. The cuteness of the guy on the street. :P. But before that, we made a quick stop at the nearby St. Paul's Cathedral , a beautifully ornate Anglican church. Everything was ostentatious, from the ma

Melbourne200904 Swiped from williamnyk . My sister planned this trip to Melbourne and it was supposed to be in the warmer month of April. But as things were at work, I requested that it be postponed to May. Unfortunately, even in May, my work schedule did not go as planned. Be that as it may, with a MYR1070 Air Asia X ticket purchased, I upped and left anyway to see an autumn-y Melbourne. Air Asia X is really no frills. The seats were so bloody narrow ( 3 in a row ). Even the more expensive XL seats ( 2 in a row ) did not look comfortable. Each seat had its own monitor, but to access any entertainment, you must first pay MYR30. Feeling cold? Purchase a comfort kit for another MYR30. 8 hours of that. And the best part was that the seats could not be reclined. You're only given a pseudo-recline, where your cushion actually slides down and forward giving you the impression of a recline. Sad. I spent most of the time in the free chat rooms. And even that software was buggy. On

AUD Swiped from williamnyk . I say, Australian Dollars look like play money! However, the exchange rate is no child's play. :(. I made MYR70 from my leftover dollars due to the ever increasing rate though. Hehe. One of my Flickr buddies thought I had struck the Oz Lotto Jackpot! This begins my lengthy Melbourne postings!! Late as usual la.

SingaporeHols200910 Swiped from williamnyk . Note: Sorry this took A LONG TIME to end. My Pre-H1N1 Melbourne trip will be coming up soon! Stay tuned! Early Saturday morning, POD, Nic, JJ, KH and I went to the Botanical Gardens . A whole lotta greenery! The landscaping was quite good and the foliage thick, making the surroundings quite pleasant to explore. Trees, flowers, ferns, palms-- you name it, they've probably got it. There's a ginger garden, a swan lake ( got swan de! ), eco garden ( ECO-nomical and ECO-logical ), evolution garden ( a way to traverse a few hundred million years of evolution-- a definite pick for geologists ) and an orchid garden. Plenty of joggers, church cell group members, tai-chi practitioners and photographers. It's all spread out across a huge area and I nearly popped a vein rushing from one end of the park to the entrance to avoid being late for our lunch appointment with Simone. Lunch was at a Thai restaurant in Shaw Tower. Don't know t

At the invitation of EarlGrey and Dae, SK, mum and I attended VerSeS' A Journey Through The Ages III at AMPAC, Ara Damansara. Well, it was for charity and it involved sacred music, so why not? The beneficiary was Protect and Save The Children , an NGO dealing with sexually-abused children in the areas of awareness, treatment and advocacy. With Dae's map and directions, it was quite easy to get there, but he mentioned a billboard of a HK celebrity holding a crab and it turned out to be a lobster! :P. Upon arrival, I had the chance to introduce my mum to the BFF gang.  Mum: How come these guys always together one? Moi: Same gang ma. I dunno whether she got what it meant. But I don't think she's that oblivious. She was thoroughly amused by Adik ( and his chunky Bimba and Lola rings ), the master of ceremonies for the night. He was his usual flamboyant self and he managed to inject some casualness into the usually stiff setting of classical music recitals. Junior she alre

I wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait. Am I too naive? I always tell people not to expect others to change for you and yet I myself am guilty of harbouring such a hope. Baka. -- Regards, William

"That used to be my favourite TV show! Now I find it boring. What else is on?" This parable works well in our social interactions too. Serial friendships, you can call it. Friends du jour. The flavour of the month. From the new arrivals they end up in the bargain bin later in the season. Then we go shopping again. Some go for serial courtships. The thrill is in the hunt. Out with the old, in with the new. Consumerism at its best. Feel free to change the channel. ;)

My colleague is in dire need of a nose hair trimmer. A veritable nostril nightmare! How do I tell HER that without making it an awkward situation? Please help. -- Regards, William

Christiano Ronaldo-- skimpy white trunks; pink cap; leg-waxing; pink polo-t. Fine la. But I think the flower behind the ear is the deep end of the pool. Stay away! -- Regards, William

Yellow Phone Swiped from williamnyk . In conjuction with my Singapore trip , I'm publishing the Singapore version of LRT Celebrities-- MRT Celebrities ! The debut episode features Uncle I'm-Too-Cheap-To-Buy-Phone-Accessories . It was kinda shocked to find the fella protecting his expensive phone from the elements, scratches and what-not using a recycled plastic sleeve normally found in the DIY hardware section. One side clear, and the other side solid yellow. Usually used to to pack some loose nails or a cheap mini screwdriver set. Oustanding. And it was oversized as well. If his phone ever accidentally fell into the toilet, I guarantee you that it will float! Luckily he did not use a plastik kuih fastened with a rubber band... P.S.: As bonus, here's a picture of random cuteness from Raffles City Shopping Center...

SingaporeHols200912 Swiped from williamnyk . Upon waking up on Friday, we found that JJ was not out to work and that can only mean that he had a rough night with his gastric problems. And so, after KH left for work, I accompanied JJ to his regular doctor at Katong. Opposite the clinic was a small kopitiam , and we had eggs, toast and coffee there after the consultation ( opsss, lupa bayar JJ! ). With our tummies partially-filled, I helped JJ pick out a few work shirts at a nearby mall. So strange seeing aunties working at G2000. Post-shopping was a light lunch at Wahiro . As usual, the salmon sashimi and amaebi sushi ( the ones in KL suck! ) was great. We topped it off with a chawanmushi . Home beckoned and we hopped onto the bus back. I went online a while and went out again with JJ at around 5:00pm. JJ went off to have his hair cut, whereas I took off to Boat Quay to take some photos. KH managed to leave work on time and meet me near Cavanagh Bridge where we shared a tuna

My Bonnie lies over the ocean, My Bonnie lies over the sea, My Bonnie lies over the ocean, Oh bring back my Bonnie to me. Bring back, o bring back, O bring back my Bonnie to me, to me, Bring back, o bring back, O bring back my Bonnie to me. +++ Bring him back indeed. -- Regards, William

Water Gate Swiped from williamnyk . This was the day that I cooked lunch for KH. I got out of the house together with him. He headed to work, I headed to the nearby NTUC FairPrice. Bought a chicken carcass, a couple of whole chicken thighs, some ground pepper ( those guys have a very spartan kitchen ), fishballs and a packet of choy sam fah . Back at home, I cleaned the poultry and deboned the thighs, dumping them into the soup stock. The chicken thighs I marinated with light soy sauce, pepper and teriyaki sauce. Later, I dumped the herbs ( kei zhi, yuk chuk, wai san, tong sum, longan ) that KH had lying around into the soup, letting it simmer for about 3 hours. In the meantime, I pan-fried the chicken. KH took another half day off, and when he had nearly arrived, I stir-fried the vegetables with the fishballs. The meal was kinda weird though as we did not have it with rice... but with penne! ( JJ's kitchen is definitely no Kitchen Stadium ) There was no proper gravy for i

The Chinese have the masculine and feminine word for the verb "to marry". "Chui" is for guys and "Ka" is for gals. For some odd reason, my colleagues were discussing who I was gonna "ka" and the menu for the wedding banquet. Not that I mind getting married off and being the stay-at-home husband, but it was weird that they were demanding roasted suckling pig to be on the menu. And the dessert has to be a Winnie the Pooh jelly. Wtf, right? Do you hear wedding bells just yet? -- Regards, William

Over lunch with Adrienz today: "With FaceBook, I do not see the need to update my blog anymore." Bincangkan dalam kurang daripada 30 patah perkataan. ;) -- Regards, William

I find that many people do not realise the full potential of the ATM machine. To many, it merely spits out cash. Coupled with the cash deposit machine, a crude funds transfer is possible. Therein lies the problem. Banks are trying to decrease the volume of customers at branches by investing in more and more of such automated machines-- hence creating the so-called "self-service branch". But customers misuse them due to lack of information. I see a lot of people withdrawing money and subsequently depositing them, without realising that such intrabank transfers can be performed online, via the ATM. The result is the same, the money gets transferred ( but it is even safer as no physical notes are involved ), but what they fail to realise is that when the money in the ATM runs out, it is rendered "out of service" ( even non-monetary transactions are disallowed) . And when the cash deposit machine is full of cash, it also ends up "out of service". So please do

Snakeface Swiped from lexillustrator . During my GSS last April, I swiped a book from KH's bookshelf-- "A History of God" by Karen Armstrong. Quite a heavy read of theology and blah blah blah , but it was interesting and revealing to say the least. Seems that faith is really screwed up. lol. Here's something that caught my eye: Augustine, the Latin theologian who defined the Trinity for the Latin Church was quoted in 'The Literal Meaning of Genesis': "... if it was good company and conversation that Adam needed, it woud have been much better to have two men together as friends, not a man and a woman." Religion has definitely evolved a lot and I must say that the things that I have read about how Christianity got to the way it is today is a real page-turner. Blasphemy? History? Philosophy?

Woke up finding my sheets and pillow damp this morning. Heaven forbid, I didn't shu shu in my bed! I wasn't lucky enough to have had a giant wet dream. And no, I don't sleep on a leaky water bed. It was my sweat! And I even sleep topless. >_<". When will the weather lighten up...? -- Regards, William

The Family Tree is a far cry from what it was two years ago. From a sapling, it has grown tall and lush. And now, the tender shoots start to bud, promising blossoms of love. It warms my heart to see this. -- Regards, William

SingaporeHols20094 Swiped from williamnyk . Back from Melbourne and still blogging about Singapore... hehehehehe KH took half day leave on Wednesday, so we had lunch together at Fre(n)sh , Vivo City. Had my first try of quiche and tartine. The former's an egg-based pie of sorts with chicken and vegetables as its filling. Tartines are basically like bruschettas, but with french onion and potato topping instead. Both came with a simple salad of lettuce, raisins and french dressing. Dessert was a tiramisu with loads cocoa powder, which KH kinda choked on. LOL. Next on our activity list was the nature walk. From the MRT station, we walked up Mt. Faber to the Jewel Box , a restaurant cum cable car station cum lookout point. The weather wasn't too hot, and the trail was quiet. It gave us a chance to join hands and enjoy the walk, giggling and being a little naughty as we went. From there on, we continued on to the Henderson Waves, a beautiful, undulating bridge of wood and