will i am's delayed diary

Three Kingdoms City 三国城 - Wuxi - 13th Jun Swiped from wilson7887 . I've finally finished all 95 episodes of "Three Kingdoms" ! Quite a feat, eh? My curiosity has been satisfied. Nearly everyone died and still things were not settled. Watching it is much better than reading the translated version online. Couldn't make heads or tails of things due to the archaic presentation. Here are some funny observations from the series: Loss, failure, anger and regret can cause totally healthy men to cough up blood and die ( thumbs up! ) If after they cough up blood and NOT die, their hair turns white overnight( thumbs up! ) In the 3800 minutes of screen time, I think less than 60 minutes were dedicated to the female characters Generals can down 10 foot soldiers with one swoop of the halberd But the part about coughing blood is accurate. Apparently it features in the text. On to my next series, "倚天屠龙记"! P.S.: ChatMate is now watching the series. See whether he

747 Swiped from williamnyk . Note: Backpost! T'was a hot Sunday. Would have melted in church if not for the air-conditioning. Was formally inducted into the hospitality ministry. Saw my name hastily scrawled into the roster. Since it was the First Sunday of Lent, did the Stations of the Cross after mass. Took a REALLY late lunch after that at Restoran 747 . I thought the crowd would be less at such a time, but I was wrong. The coffee shop was super hot and stuffy. The cup of iced Milo I ordered was finished way before my char siew wantan mee arrived. The problem was exacerbated by the fact that the seller uses very high heat to cook his noodles. Beats me why. And he did a most peculiar thing-- his gas cylinders were put inside plastic tubs and he would periodically pour boiling water into it! Does anyone know the logic behind this?! ( other than risk blowing himself up ). Wolfed down the food when it finally arrived. Partly due to hunger, but mostly due to the undies-wett

Swiped from jobarracuda It's already the Second Sunday of Lent .  Flowers are absent in the church. Bells are not rung. Chimes are not struck. Alleluia and Gloria do not fall on our lips. We retrace the Way of Sorrow. I guess it's time to go back to basics and reflect what is really important to us. To pray, and to listen to really listen...

rejected egg born of a virgin chicken Swiped from I'll save you a seat... . Overheard at United Garden Wet Market: "I wanna buy virgin chickens. Males." "Erm. The chickens run around. We don't monitor their shagging." "You don't?!" Putting all the jantan together and you may have some avian sodomites. Solitary confinement then? Cost too high. Perhaps she should go for chicks instead. Wonder if I should walk into KFC one day and pull the same stunt...

A continuation from my post about Flying Kick Kirk . People seem curious about the third leg in the picture. So here you have it, the full picture. The exposé. Did you guys picture them differently? I'm not sure if they're a couple, but they seem pretty close. Good friends perhaps. P.S.: I'm still down with the flu. My phlegm is in Christmas colours of green and red ( ouch! ) and I hiccup after drinking water or have a meal. KH even asked me whether that would hinder me giving me a blowjob. A valid question. A valid question. :P

If you're a fan of mou lei tou HK comedies, I'm sure you've watched scenes where someone attempts to do a flying kick and ends up stuck on a wall or on a fence. The end result is the poor fellow being carried away stuck in the flying kick stance. Today's LRT Celebrity, Flying Kick Kirk pays tribute to that. Look at how he sits. You would agree with me that he got stuck on a fence or wall just two days ago. Poor fella. To supplement today's entry is a Japanese tourist that I spied on the same monorail route. Speaking of Japan, my prayers go out to the poor people who had been devastated by the earthquake, tsunami and nuclear crisis there! The picture was taken during happier times for Japan. When will I see you again...?

Two nerds Swiped from Lars Kloster Silkjær . Making new friends is always fun, especially when you click well with them. ChatMate is one such case. If memory serves me ( it rarely does these days ), it all started from Pooh's "I Hate Monday" e-mail threads. Then detected his presence on FB and we started messaging each other there. Think it was because he was a Catholic too, or perhaps I did it on a whim ( or most probably cause he appreciates the value of good pair of underwear ). Blah-ed and blah-ed on FB and after we had both passed each other psycopath detection test, we exchanged phone numbers. And lo and behold... he also uses What's App! But he uses it on the 'inferior' HTC phone. ^_^. For some weird reason we could chat about everything under the sun. But knowing me, skank is always high on the list. In just three weeks we had gotten to know much about each other, although I admit he was a tougher nut to crack with his semi-secretive nature. B

This is my colleague's iPhone pouch ( before it was stolen by fucking snatch thieves, but that is not the topic of today's post ). According to her, it's a fish. But to me... just fold in the two fins and voila~ you get a dick head! "..........." Yes, yes... my mind is stuck in gear kuning . Can't really blame me la... the drought has been long and hard...

Swiped from dismantlerepair.co.uk . A fortnight ago, CMon had been messaging me frequently on What's App regarding his relationship status. It went from attached to single to cooling off period. I tried my best to advise him although I had no practical experience. Had to turn on my Agony Aunt mode every morning to placate him. I really don't know if I said the 'right' things. And some of the things I said were pretty harsh and brutally honest. That I know for sure. Plus, the risk is always there that my 'good intentions' are misconstrued and I might end up the bad guy! I realize that it's easy to tell someone to let go and stop regretting past decisions, but in lessons of love, we learn things the hard way. Reflecting on what I said to him, I wonder if I can really swallow my own bitter medicine if KH and I were on the rocks one day ( choi choi choi! Touch wood! ). Sigh. Dunno la. Matters of the heart are never easy to solve, if they ever have a sol

YYH Swiped from williamnyk . Post-mass lunch on Sunday was at Restoran Yat Yeh Hing , just across the LDP from my church. I've been going to St. Iggie Church for years and have not tried the famous Bentong chicken rice there! Also discovered a well-packed BKT shop nearby. Will give it a try next time. The chicken rice place was horrible. One had to pounce on an empty table. And the orders took some time to arrive. Customers while away the time by drinking bowls and bowls of their pre-hypertension soup. It was a salty and peppery affair with lots of chicken feet and radish. The portions were large ( the bill came to MYR18 for two persons ) and the chicken very smooth ( they only serve Hainanese chicken rice ). Unfortunately, the chicken was quite tasteless. For dipping sauce, we were given a mixture of stir-fried chilli and garlic. Spoiled by the oiliness and sweetness. On such a hot day, nearly everyone was downing a big cup of iced umbra juice with their meal. Interesting

Sa Chap Swiped from williamnyk . Happy Birthday Dear! Today marks the day that you join me in Club 30! Hehe. Somehow this song comes to mind... 我能想到最浪漫的事 就是和你一起慢慢变老 一路上收藏点点滴滴的欢笑 留到以后坐着摇椅慢慢聊 That was an excerpt from 赵咏华's ":最浪漫的事". I never realized how touching the lyrics were until i listened to it intently during an LRT ride home from work one evening. Made me feel a bit emo. Yes, the most romantic thing I can think of is growing old with you... *muacks* P.S.: OMG! OMG! I still have not bought a present!!! Ideas are welcome! TQ!

A Wedding Lunch ( the hunk is watching the waitress mutilate the pomfret ) About a month back, I received an SMS from my laywer, J inviting me to his wedding lunch. "Eh, wait a minute, didn't I recently hear about his baby's full moon?!" Modern parents. The sequence is all wrong. Haha. It was held at Grand Imperial,  USJ19 City Mall , USJ19 ( no surprise here ). Such an unimaginative name. But at least it had free parking. Horrible interior. Kinda like Summit USJ. I foresee a zombie-like existence for its tenants. Arrived at noon only to find that only twenty percent of the guests had arrived. Ugh. Took my seat and exchanged pleasantries with a rich-looking woman in her 30s. "You ever been here?" "I think it opened not long ago. An abandoned project." "Yup, abandoned for ten years. It belonged to my uncle." First clue. Then J came over to talk to us. She shook his hand and we have clue number two. "J! Congratulations

SKRyanBday20112 Swiped from williamnyk . SK is not one for nonsense. And so when it came to her birthday, she was particular about the guest list and firm with the venue. And seeing that BeautifulMale's birthday went by without a proper BFF do, we roped him in as one of the VIPs for the night. Dinner was at Restoran Stadium Negara , Jalan Yap Kwan Seng. Decided to try it after getting some feedback from Venge. Among the other guests were JL, JJ, Bunny, KT and her BF. A small group. KT came the latest. Poor JL was so hungry that we had to order him a plate of Fried Singapore Bihun to keep his crakiness in check. Before we ate, BeautifulMale opened up his presents first. We asked him to pose with the red 2xist briefs and the red STUD swimtrunks. Amused by his antics, the Indonesian waitress told him to wear the skanky articles of clothing on his head. :P. Too bad he did not oblige. When my mei finally arrived, we asked the kitchen to proceed with the order of Grilled Sri

Ang Ku Kueh Swiped from williamnyk . On the first and fifteenth day of the lunar calendar, I get to eat ang ku kueh . A treat from my colleague. He would bring at least ten pieces! Wondering why? The food's from his altar! It's a rarity for young people to have an altar in their homes. Most would be clueless about the rituals and couldn't care less about putting incense and being mindful of the important dates. My colleague does. He prays to Guan Yin . I have no qualms about eating it as to me it is just food ( I'm Catholic in case you don't know ). But having it every two weeks does make it kinda scary! Haha. I told him that Guan Yin is probably bored of ang ku kueh , so better buy something else!

CNY2011Archdiocese Swiped from williamnyk . Attended a Chinese New Year Celebration Dinner organized by the Archdiocesan Chinese Language Apostolate Commission and Jesus Caritas Chinese Apostolate Council. That was a real mouthful. A plantain mouthful. :O. At MYR60 a pop for dinner, entertainment and charity, it was quite a steal actually. SK and I allocated about 45 minutes to get there. Ample time really, but we took a wrong turn. The venue was at HGH Convention Center, Jalan Sentul. We were supposed to get off at Dynasty Hotel, but somehow, we ended up at the other end of Jalan Ipoh. It rained and the traffic on Jalan Kuching was not pretty as usual. Our seats were near the back of the hall, so when half-naked Shanghainese acrobats came on stage, I was a bit disappointed. Had to make the best of my digital zoom. More performances after the speeches. Typical non-Cirque du Soleil fare. Tacky lycra. Contortionists. Hat jugglers. Balancing acts. Shaolin kung fu. Bed of nails. G

Little bubble Swiped from MPH Photography . Overheard at Taman OUG Wet Market. A mother is with her son at one of the roadside stalls selling toys... "Faster choose la! What toy you want!" (The kid was terrifed and keeps mum) "I don't have all day! I have to go to work you know!?" "Is it that bubble thing?!" (The seller brought the toy over for the kid to inspect) "Nah, bubble ah! You know how to play or not! Not to drink one ah! Know or not!" Felt like slapping that woman. The whole reason for buying the toy was to make her child happy. And yet... Can you feel the love?

Fish Slice Noodles Swiped from williamnyk . Pooh and Denniz was down in KL again for their seminar thing so I nipped over to Maluri to meet him for lunch. This time round, I came from MEX Highway, so the drive was much better! Upon arriving at the lobby, I saw Mark and beckoned him to get into the car. Noticed another guy behind him, so I assumed it was Denniz. The fella just stood there not knowing what to do. Was wondering if he needed a formal invitation card. Turned out to be some other guy! So, I met J.Lo for the first time. Shy fella. Denniz was out kau zhai -ing somewhere. You know how much I hate Cheras, so I was definitely at a loss about where to eat. I thought eating at the nearby Jusco would be a good choice. Parked there and found the choices really lacking. We walked out instead to scout the area for better eats. Luckily the sun was hiding behind some clouds, else I would have been cranky. The funny thing was that we ended up at Hoong Kee Seafood Noodle House , r

PosLaju note Swiped from nicholaschan . A continuation from this and this . Citibank sent me an SMS sometime before CNY telling me that they had couriered replacement credit cards to me via Poslaju. Strangely, I did not receive anything. Not even a bloody failed delivery notice from national courier. I called their customer service hotline and quoted the reference number from my SMS. "According to our records, out postman arrived at your house on the 11th of February and found no on home. He honked for six times. There were dogs barking" "I don't have dogs." "Maybe your neighbour?" "Both houses beside mine are unoccupied." "..." Got her to confirm that the address was correct, so the LOGICAL answer is they fucked up. What a surprise. So I arranged for a repeat delivery on the 21st. Knowing their style, they would usually deliver repeat parcels late in the evening, but this time, they came up to my house at noon while my m

My company's annual dinner was held on VDay eve. Initially it was slated for VDay, but that was scrapped after many objections from the employees. Duh. I did not want to attend it this year ( many colleagues argue that since the company never gives out any bonus, might as well go eat and drink on the company's account ), but seeing that the venue was One World Hotel rather than the usual Tropicana Tai Thong, I decided to go regardless of the stupid dress code. Some draconian genius decided to ban sports shoes and jeans, making the dinner a little stuffier. Had to arrive at the venue before 7:00pm to register. Failing to do so would mean no lucky draw for you! Upon arrival at the banquet hall, I was shocked to see so many 'colleagues'. Hardly knew 5% of 'em. Kinda scary really to see such a concentration of staff. Ugh. The registration went by alphabet which made my queue very short. Pitied all the Lees and Chans. Hahahaha. By registering, one gets a $20 and a lucky

iPhone88Tappers Swiped from williamnyk . Briyani Langit Biru is an elusive persona on FB. Just suddenly appeared one day and made his presence known. Added him into my friends list and started chatting with him. Was a bit skeptical at first as he had just one small picture on his profile and even his MSN avatar did not show his face. But other than that, everything seemed to be in order. More than once I've had people asking me whether I know him personally and whether they should accept his friend request. On the sidelines, he also built a rapport with Nicky and somehow three of us always had message threads running about arranging meet ups and blah-ing about fluff. Every time our stars did not align. Either I only met up with Nicky, or only Nicky met up with him. Determined to break the cycle, I SMS-ed him on VDay eve to arrange a lunch date. At first I suggested Pappa Rich at 3 1/2 Mile Square, but he preferred it in Petaling Jaya, so I obliged ( you owe me, Briyani! ).