will i am's delayed diary

When there's nothing to do, one tends to stuff things in the mouth ( not talking about dick here, but I guess it's a valid angle too ). For me, it has been oranges, apples, raisins, dried guava and other more unhealthy varieties like Lays potato chips and Kosuka tapioca chips. Sometimes I'd buy yoghurt too. But this is just a far cry from my colleagues who just live across the hall. To date, both of them have consumed nine tubes of Pringles, four packets of Ruffles and eight cup noodles! All in just two weeks. I salute them. If I ate that much of salt and MSG-laden food, my throat would have surrendered in just a couple of days. Any personal junk food records to share? Note: An ex-colleague of mine once shared that he could down two large pizza in one sitting or one large bucket of KFC. Don't worry, he has slimmed down now.

Kuala Lurah - The booze cruise! Swiped from WeonSnonge . I arrived at Bandar Seri Begawan on the 31st of October. My return ticket is for the 2nd of December. A social visit pass to Brunei is only thirty days. So if I follow that itinerary, I would most probably be hauled up for violating immigration laws. Don't pray pray . Criminals here can't even get away with stealing a refrigerator. So, my fatty boss drove a bunch of us up to Kuala Lurah ( outskirt of Limbang ) to extend my stay and have dinner. Just a thirty minute drive. The Brunei immigration is quite unorganized in general. The officer just takes your passport and stamps it without looking at your face. For arrivals and departures, you stick your passport into the same window at the side of a shipping container. Amazing. On the Malaysian side, the CIQ Complex is much more decent. We parked on the Brunei side and walked across the border. The roads were riddled with potholes and unlit. Horrible. Just out of the

Breakfast of Kings Swiped from Pieter Pieterse . The chef at my hotel is really a genius. Seri Anjung: Rasa Malaysia definitely deserves some Michelin stars. The quality has been very consistent. One bite of the fried noodles or kuay teow is usually enough for me to spit it out. Superbly sweet. Plus the noodles are usually not properly cooked. Terrific. I've seen a regular try to neutralize the sweetness by dumping salt on it. Hah! Another colleague of mine uses chilli sauce. Such attempts remind me of trying to cover B.O. with the perfume. Lagi hapak! Sometimes breakfast is served with a starchy egg drop soup. Never dared try that. Snot in the morning. Eww. The fried rice is more decent, but the MSG in there has a wonderfully stinging sensation. The only edible thing they serve is the white porridge. Wonderfully hot and bland. Haha. But not all are misses. The chef did once whip up a nice macaroni in beef and clove broth. And the french toast is OK too. But that's just

HBO Served Here Swiped from TactixCreative . HBO is lovely. To date, I have watched "Troy" five times, "G.I. Joe" three times, "Star Trek" six times and "Dark Knight" twice. Reruns. The essence of pay TV. Yum Yum Yum. Ooohh... time to catch "Watchmen" for the second time! Pick you jaw up from floor. I just leave the TV on and listen from my room while I'm online. Hehe. Anyway, any movie that you can watch over and over again? Please don't say "Titanic". I beg you.

Snoring Husband Swiped from BRS Facial Spa . Zzz... snrk... zzzzz... snrkkk!! Yes, my roommate snores. He goes from zero to snoring in 30 seconds. That's quite something, right? ( actually KH also holds a similar record ) Honestly, snorers don't bother me. Somehow I manage to filter out the sound. Even so, I am grateful that KH does not snore. I don't think I snore either, but I do know that I used to talk in my sleep. Would sometimes sit up in bed and mumble something unintelligible and then shut up. Years back, I had a roommate who did the same thing. One night it would be me. On another night, it would be him. I really wonder if I mumbled out any secrets at those times~~ "mumble.. I masturbated on your bed this afternoon... mumble" My mother on the other hand, grits her teeth. And it's quite loud! Not good for the teeth le. Well, back to my roommate. His snoring is actually quite useful. Whenever I hear his snoring, I would know that the coast is clear

Economy rice in Penang Swiped from fortesfidelis . Although there are quite a number of shops selling decent food near my hotel, my roommate and I still narrow our choice down to two. People are always like that. Less choices, they complain. Too many choices, they cannot decide. So for me, it's always either Sui Heng or Golden Leaf . Why? I guess it's the price and taste. It's the only two shops selling decent Chinese mixed rice. And the letter even has roasted items like pork ribs and duck. I think the waitresses at both shops come to expect seeing us there. Not surprised if this is what they whisper under their breath: "Here comes the cilaka migrant worker who only take the BND3.00 mixed rice and drink warm water" They don't even bother to ask us anymore these days. Haha. At least over here, fish is counted the same like any other meat. In KL... "Fish ma, sure more expensive!" Do you have a regular shop that you go to?

Thien Thien Swiped from williamnyk . Out of boredom, we arranged a free shuttle service to The Mall , Gadong on Saturday. Turns out that the hotel I'm staying in is managed by a huge real estate group that also owns The Mall and a string of other properties around town. Hence the free ride. My roommate and I were chauffered over in a cool black MPV with automatic doors. Didn't manage to catch the make and model though. The Mall is quite big really, but the location really leaves a lot to be desired. Located just beside the highway, but the exit is a giant roundabout that is really difficult for Bruneian drivers as they are really not gung-ho enough on the road. And you know what? To get into the shopping mall, one has to go through a small road that snakes around the Pasar Gadong ( a food haven for all things cheap and loaded with hydrocarbons ). To cut a long story short, we finished The Mall in just under forty five minutes. Arguably better retail space than in Yaya

Rishi Swiped from Motohashimarabia . Truth be told, I have never opened my palette to guys of Indian descent before. In the early days of 1515 dial-up, I had a thing for Caucasians. Then that shifte to Jap, Chink and more Jap. Well, I have oogled at some hot specimens like Rishi Idnani, but that's about it. And so, it came as a surprise to me when I had a skanky dream about an Indian dude. One of those elaborate dreams where I was skulking in the underground HQ of a cult ( no idea if it was a sado-masochstic gay cult, but a cult lo ). I raced from chamber to chamber, avoiding detection ( more Austin Powers than James Bond slick ). But in the end, I was discovered by an Indian lab assistant. I dunno what he was doing there, but for all I know he was devising some evil cult lubricant. He caught my wrist and the next thing I know, I had pulled him close and started kissing him ( heroes should always use this move to throw enemies off guard ). The scene kinda blurred from there. F

In my previous post, I mentioned that there were two semi-cuties in my Brunei office. Both are on the opposite spectrum. One medium build. The other small build. One goody-goody. The other bad boy. One hardly smiles. The other has a cheeky grin. One has a long fringe. The other has a ruffled, James Dean look. But today, lets focus on candidate #1, Mr. Goody. Both have skin as white as snow. So, when Mr. Goody has a mark on his neck, it defintely catches the eye. Even my straight colleague noticed: "Wei, is that fella sporting a lovebite?" But the truth of the matter is, it's a perpetual lovebite. Day One~ Still there. Day Two~ Still. Day Three~ Still there. Conclusion? Birthmark lo... Haha. Sorry la, no pics. Use your imagination, k? Wakakaka.

moses Swiped from fee_rachel . It took a little more than a week to purchase a prepaid sim card starter pack in BSB. In particular, I was looking for Brunei's 'most saleable' prepaid sim card, i.e Easi by DTSCom . In the city center, I went from kiosk to kiosk, shop to shop, but nobody seemeds to sell it. If you want the reload card, they got plenty. Reminds me of Alanis Morisette's lyrics~ "ten thousand spoons when all you need is a fork...". I was nearly giving up, but then I found that there was a DSTCom branch just beneath my balls, at the nearby Yayasan. After lunch, I dashed over and made my purchase. Was thrilled that it took only ten minutes plus registration. FYI, it cost me BND30 for the starter pack with only BND5 credit inside. Unlike in Malaysia, Bruneians get a raw deal with prepaid. BND5 lasts you only 7 days. And each call you pick up is charged BND0.20. My favourite is the fact that if you don't reload the card, your credit will be fo

Lucky Restaurant is a typical Chinese restaurant in Bandar Seri Begawan. Downstairs is catered for exress meals where rice is served with roasted meats and upstairs, one gets air-conditioning and enough space to hold a wedding banquet. There's of course a stage flanked by very traditional wood carvings of a dragon and a phoenix. In KL, you'd most probably only see a cheap styrofoam representation. The prices there are quite fair, not costing more than the other coffee shops nearby. So in a way, it's more value for money. The waitresses even dress up like SQ air stewardesses ( but looks wise, more like retired air stewardess la ). Huhu. But the only thing 'lucky' about the place is the name. No cute waiters or kitchen staff for me to ogle at. Sigh. At least the lala kids at the Laksamana College of Business provide some respite. Food-wise, Lucky Restaurant serves up quite a big portion. Quite tasty too. So far I had tasted their beef kuay teow and Singapore bihun .

This is the view that greats me whenever I use the toilet cubicle on the 10th floor of my client's office... quite a view isn't it? Thank goodness there are no higher buildings nearby, else the mid length window would be quite a spectacular view for the neighbours. Tee hee. As you can see, I have aged the photo, but the buildings don't look out of place at all kan ? Welcome to the Twilight Zone!

Young people going out on a friday night Swiped from Vueltaa . If you can speak Malay, you should be able to surive in Brunei. It's pretty much the same breed of language, with certain exceptions. The first thing I noticed was their fondness for the word "bah". Kinda like the equivalent of our "lah", except infinitely more flexible. It fits most situations. Can use it to agree, get attention, and even prohibit. And they "kita" instead of "awak" as a sign on respect. Confusing kan ? Then you have your "ngak payah" and "ngak buleh" that somehow just rolls off the tongue with a funny melody to it. Quite fun to use. And instead of "tidak", they use "inda". Then they have a whole lot of "Dayangku"s and "Awangku"s floating around... people with royal lineage. On top of this, I just found out that when Bruneians say "belayar", they actually mean going on a trip. :S. "

Being the bad little Catholic that I am, I still try to partake in the Sunday Mass. Flying down to Brunei, I had already missed it on Sunday. Arriving in Brunei, I went to work trying to locate any nearby parishes. Seems that there is a Church of Our Lady of Immaculate Conception at Jalan Kumbang Pasang. The intersection to that road is not too far a walk from my place actually. Unfortunately, I don't know the exact location. For some reason, the church is not marked on any map in the internet. And even the church's website is down. Quite sad since it's supposed to be the main Catholic church for the Brunei diocese. Can you imagine that I even resorted to a gay cruising site to try to find it? ( interesting to note that www.cruisinggays.com gave that spot 3/5 stars ). In the end, I did not go. Jalan Kumbang Pasang is just too long for me to make a gung-ho church-hunting trip. Instead, I took out my camera and walked along Jalan Tutong towards the bridge over Sungai Kedeya

While doing #1 in the loo of my client's office, this is what I saw on the wall with the urinals... a Urine Colour Chart! to help the staff know their hydration levels. I don't know about their staff, but I find comparing the colour of my pee to a printed chart, midstream no less, to be quite a challenge! Wonder if that campaign caused an increase 'missed shots'. Or perhaps... "Romzi, come look at my pee. You think it's a band 7?"

DSC01067 Swiped from In a bubble . Bruneians seem to have a love affair with air-conditioning. Everywhere I go, the temperatures seem to be super low. It's not even that hot outside ( the weather can be quite pleasant even during lunch ) and the AC is on full blast. One shivers when walking out to the lift lobby. While waiting for my mutton briyani to be served, I warm my hands with a cup of hot water. In my hotel room, even a low setting on the thermostat gets me shivering under the covers ( hmmm, thinking of KH's warm body cuddling me ). Thank goodness I brought my cardigan along. At the supermarket, even the aisles are chilly. I don't even need to elaborate about the frozen section. Gritting my teeth seems to be something I keep on doing subconsciously here. But perhaps that has a bit to do with work and boredom. Heh. Are Bruneians really that 'warm'? ( the cute boys should go green and wear less clothes! ). Or is electricity free over here? I shall ende

Central Park Swiped from williamnyk . Slept quite well on my first night in Brunei, but for some reason missed KH more than usual. Must be the fact that I did not get to hear his voice over the phone. Sigh. Whispered his name to sleep while I imagined that he snuggled beside me under the sheets, keeping me warm. Had weird dreams about running around a German castle and having Japanese food. Bizarre. Woke up the next day feeling the effects of the air-conditioning. Pity my throat and my skin. Have to lather myself with rich body creams and not scrimp on my facial moisturiser. Breakfast was the usual lousy fare. On Monday, the requirements study session with my client started. Had to 'persuade' my colleague to do his job. I wonder which part of Business Analyst he does not understand. But once the ball got rolling, things were better. Thanks goodness the audience was reasonable and not too demanding. The days have kinda rolled by and I've lost track of time, so I won't

before/after: water. Swiped from jordaan mason . Haiyoh.... my roommate does not know how to use the shower curtain. The bathroom floods after he showers! Doesn't he notice that? It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that the water is flowing onto the floor and not into the bathtub! Please help! But wait... don't tell me he has fun all over the place and needs to spray off the whole place to clean up?! Yikes!

Semasa Ke LCCT Swiped from Rosli Ahmad . Woke up at 7:30am and did some last minute packing before SK fetched me to the airport. At the LCCT, I looked at the departure board and found my flight AK266 - KSK . What the hell's "KSK"?! Went to ask at the information counter. Turns out that it means "Self Check-In Kiosk". So off I went in search of the kiosk. And what do I see there? Several lines of frustrated passengers trying to check-in. Either the booking could not be found or the machine did not have paper to print out the boarding pass. Perfect. A chinese woman was asking the customer service about the problem, so I in turn asked her about her findings. "You from XYZ company?" Wah, I must have tattoo-ed on my forehead or something. But then, it's not everyday that you have a bunch of typical cheenas going to Bandar Seri Begawan. So off we went to the other cluster or machines. Also hopeless. We ended checking in at the baggage drop-off

On the second day, Fatty Boss jumped into action again, leaving the audience enthralled and wanting more. Lunch was with Fatty Boss again, but this time at a new shop called Restoran Cahaya Indah . Don't be fooled by the name, it serves chinese food. I ordered their beef noodles and lin chee kang . Both were quite nice. The hands-on sessions during the afternoon went quite well except for some 'expected' weird behaviour from the system. When things went awry, I tried not to look surprised ad just glossed things over. But kinda awkward when the users experienced it themselves and started to ask questions. I think my presentation was quite dry and tried to reel them back in when they seemed lost. By the end of the day, I was exhausted but glad that it was over. To celebrate, we had dinner at Charcoal BBQ & Grill Restaurant . My colleague ordered the 15oz ribs and was kinda put off by the big chunk of meat. Hoho. Luckily I chose the Surf 'n Turf-- a mixture of grilled