will i am's delayed diary

St. Anne's Shrine Swiped from williamnyk . Mel taught me this prayer way back when I was in university: St. Anne, St. Anne, Find me a man, As fast as you can! At that time, I was still in the closet and I had not yet embraced Catholicism. But perhaps I was subconsciously praying to St. Anne for such an intercession and she answered with KH. Years after that, I finally made the pilgrimage to St. Anne's Church , Batu Mertajam. For MYR230 per pax, SK, mum and I followed a church trip there. Luckily, SK and I weren't the youngest participants in the group of aunties and uncles. Leaving on Friday night, we arrived there at around 5:30am. At that hour, there were already volunteers on duty! I had been sleeping the whole trip. Mum had quite a time smacking me awake. Upon arrival, we freshened up and did the stations of the cross in candlelight. It was kinda like a treasure hunt, looking for the life-sized statues in the dark. Finishing the stations, we prayed at St Anne...

173-Le cri Swiped from gillespinault . Published this post for my non-Facebook readers. And if you've read the gist in Facebook, think of this as the detailed account. At dinner some weeks ago, Mum served fried Ma Yau / Kurau . For those of you who know, that fish does not have many bones. Most of the bones are big and are easy to pick out. Maybe I wasn't paying attention ( told you not to read the papers during dinner! ) or I was just downright careless, I swallowed a bone and it was stuck at my throat. There was no more rice to force it down with. Ugh. The feeling was intermittent, so I guess that bone was stuck at an angle. Nothing seemed to be able to dislodge it. Luckily, I was able to sleep that night. The next morning, it was still there. That just goes to show that there is no Fish Bone Fairy who comes to dislodge fish bones in your throat and leave an iPhone under your pillow. I went to the clinic opposite my office. As I was waiting there, loads and loads of ...

Brokeback Mountain Swiped from Phil Gyford . During lunch the other day, my Burmese colleague said some things that made me choke on my rice: Colleague: I used to dislike {replace this with a religion} and gays. Moi: (looking around nervously) Shhhsshhhs! Not so loud! Colleague: Now, I begin to accept the existence of gays. They're part of society. It is acknowledged in Buddhism. But lesbians get no mention. Moi: ....... During tea time, the same colleague reached another milestone: Colleague: Brokeback Mountain is not a gay movie! Moi: Then what is it? Colleague: It's the story about love between two men. Moi: (nearly choked on my roti telur) Are you OK?

Misc83 Swiped from williamnyk . Remember my warning about not being cute and putting the LRT ticket into your mouth? For you nay-sayers and unbelievers, here's photographic evidence! The guy you see here was using the LRT ticket to scrape whiteheads from his face!!! Gross!!! For the whole journey from Masjid Jamek to Seri Petaling he worked at it. Starting at his nose, he worked his way towards his cheeks. Every time he scraped, he would wipe off the greasy residue from the ticket. Sometimes, he would scrape extra hard, and I would know that he had hit the motherlode. Next time, when you taste some sebum-y goodness off your LRT ticket, you know what it is. The other guy is some student with the British Council. Wore white from head to toe. If he had white dreadlocks on his head, I would have thought him the Merovingian's bodyguards from "The Matrix: Reloaded". With a black satin tie, a lackey with the mafia. An albino waiter? But I'm just being mean as c...

MONA LISA Swiped from *♡* Angel de Luz *♡* . Note: I have no more photos for this post as more than 100 of my photos were corrupted due to a CF card failure. *sob sob* KH was busy the whole week, but he managed to get off on Friday. We had breakfast of fried egg ( was supposed to be half-boiled, but my dear KH is a bit hopeless in the kitchen, that's why he needs me, lol ) with banana-walnut toast. Weird combination, right? Post-breakfast, we went on to doing some cardio on HJ's expensive mattress. Hehe. Finishing up, we freshened ourselves up and went to the Singapore Science Centre . We were there for the Da Vinci: The Genius exhibition. The highlight of it was the 240-million pixel, multi-spectral copy of The Mona Lisa. Could see it in it's original colours and "in the nude". If one goes to The Louvre, you'll only be able see it from afar, behind bullet-proof glass. Other than that, they showcased his genius for mechanics, biology, art and the lov...

Spermy Jelly Swiped from williamnyk . Thursday was JJ's official day off. So sweet of him to take annual leave to accompany me. Hehe. In the morning, we swam a little as the sun was too hot. Then we just lounged a while on the deck chairs beneath the parasol to cool off. Once again, no cuties. :(. Our next appointment was at Peach Garden , a restaurant on the 33th floor of OCBC Centre. It has a great view of the CBD. Had dim sum with KH and Eskay. The last time I met Eskay at Mont Calzone , I was kinda zombified and he was sitting a bit far off, so we couldn't really interact. This time round, things were much better and we got to talk more. The food was great and even greater was the fact that JJ picked up the tab. Hehe. I didn't take pics of the food ( I should have! ), with the exception of the black glutinous rice dessert-- double-boiled in a young coconut and served with coconut ice cream and topped with spermy jelly. Went to an adult shop after lunch to buy ...

Guess The Device Swiped from williamnyk . I interrupt my little Singapore Siesta with this stupid guessing game. The machine looks diabolical, no? A crude washing machine? A food processor? Some new sex toy? Take a wild guess. No prizes, but you'll earn the title Domestic Goddess . Silakan!

basil_alcove7 Swiped from bomza . No plans for the day, so I just merempat at home. And I had morning "exercise", so I kinda slept in a bit. Had a simple breakfast and I later went out to tapau mixed rice at the club house. I was supposed to bring my own tupperware ( those guys are so GREEN ), but I forgot... so I'm guilty of using a styrofoam container. :P. The food was satisftying and the uncle was generous. Post-lunch, I did the ever-important IRONING. Turns out that my dear KH left the most challenging work shirts and pants for me. The material was like kiam chai and even spraying water and using the highest heat setting couldn't quite tame them. Luckily JJ didn't have any clothes for me to iron. After finishing my quota for the trip, I watched some episodes of Bleach. Then I went swimming before my dinner appointment with my brother. No cuties. :( Just as I wanted to go out, I found that my Starhub Prepaid had died. Couldn't make any calls. Sh...

SingaporeHols2009071 Swiped from williamnyk . Whenever I sleep over at KH's place, there's always a routine that we follow. Before snoozing, we always cuddle. And in the middle of the night, KH often wakes up to sip some water. I would still be half asleep and KH would be at the bedside, urging the cup to my lips. Back to sleep again. In the mornings, he would rouse me from my slumber with a kiss ( and more :P ). Then I would stumble groggily out to the toilet and find JJ already out to work. On that Tuesday morning, I found JJ's bedroom door still closed... meaning he ponteng ! After I had my breakfast of banana-walnut toast and sent KH off to work with a kiss, JJ ambled out looking all worn out. He had another rough night getting to sleep. Bad for him, but good for me-- I have somebody to teman me for the day! We left the house to meet KH, Mrs. H and Mdm. E ( KH's fag hag's from work ) at Paya Lebar. Lunch was at the food court. We had Ashton's -- ch...

Mother and joey Swiped from ѕhadowdancer . A couple of Sundays back, SK and I unwittingly ended up at a health fair organized by those dodgy clinic cum health care consultancies. Loads of people were there and there was some talk going on with lots of food outside. As I had to wait for my mum and her friends to arrive, we decided to go in and register ourselves. After walking past the crowds and posters of diseased female nether regions, we arrived at the registration counter. The woman in the lab coat passed SK a form to fill without hardly looking up. I was standing at ther side when the woman suddenly asked: "Your son ah?" I laughed out loud!!! "Err, your boyfriend ah?" I told her to speak no more. SK was fuming and did not even acknowledge she ever spoke. Hehe. Looks like I have a new mummy!

SingaporeHols200907 Swiped from williamnyk . Being the "slut" ( according to my son DanielH and ThompsonBoy ), I was in Singapore for another Ironing trip. Once again, I flew via JetStar ( compliments of KH ) and arrived in Changi at around 5:00pm. POD was there to greet me as the rest were working. In the cab: POD: You're cooking tonight, right? Moi: What?! I had the impression that YOU were cooking. Thought that I was playing a secondary role. POD: Errr.... KH told me YOU were cooking leh. Moi: I think KH pulled a fast one on us. So ganas, just arrived already immediately set me up to work in the kitchen. To cook for 6! Sniff. Sniff. Upon arrival at JJ's place, I put down my luggage and immediately brought POD to the nearby NTUC Fairprice at Eastpoint Mall for some grocery shopping. The menu was curry chicken, stir-fried vegetables and sweet and sour fish. There is an interesting story about the fish too: POD: Wei, JJ asked to cook his fish. He bought it s...

x-ray image Swiped from wu.peng . Since before my Melbourne trip, mum had been complaining about a stiffness in her neck. Kinda brushed it off as salah bantal , but when it didn't go away for 2 months, mum got a bit worried. Chiropractors and sinseh 's failed to improve the condition. And so, we ended up at Tung Shin to see an orthopaedic surgeon, Dr. Low. Upon arrival at the hospital, our temperature was taken and a sticker was given to mark us as potentially H1N1-free. Amazingly, his clinic opens at 9:00am and he's actually there! After consultation and an X-ray, he declared that my mum has bone spurs at her fourth and fifth cervical vertebrae. They look like little protrusions from the edge of the bone. He prescibed some NSAIDs, painkillers and glucosamine and also encouraged her to do exercises to loosen her neck muscles. Mum's feeling better now and she does not touch her neck so often anymore. Hope it improves more!

Celcom Broadband Swiped from Girllyen . When I see newspaper ads that proclaim TM the winner of "Best Internet Service Provider" awards and what not, I let out a bitter laugh. Meaningless as they are a monopoly. From all the problems that my sister and SK complain about and the multitudes of irate letters I see in The Star, it takes no genius to conclude that Streamyx is crap. Celcom being the subsidiary is also naturally crappy. I e-mailed them about Celcom Broadband coverage in my area and I must say that their customer service is impeccable. It took their automated system 11 minutes to reply my e-mail, promising a reply soon. After a week ( soon hor? ), they replied and asked me to furnish them MORE details although I already gave them my street address. And in the e-mail they even provided me with an alternative to check SMS. Text "BROADBAND HERE" kononnya . The number was rejected by DiGi. It took them another 2 weeks later to call me with the GOOD NEW...

Cyan's Birthday Tray Swiped from williamnyk . When I turned 1 ( some 28 years ago ), my mum cooked up a storm and invited the neighbours. I had a birthday cake in the shape of the numeral "1"! Back then, THAT was a big deal. Well, my nephew Cyan turned 1 lately and his parents threw him a party with about fifty guests. Got the caterers to handle everything. The food was quite good and there was even a satay stall. Being my sister's favourite, the birthday cake turned out to be a brownie from Secret Recipe. Each slice was completed with a giant scoop of vanilla ice cream. Sinful. An interesting part of the festivities included a ritual of "choices". Several items were put in a tray in front of him, and he was allowed to grab the stuff that caught his eye. Chicken drumstick ( aku suka makan? ) Ruler ( future engineer? ) Book ( scholar? ) Pencil ( writer? ) Rubber stamp ( official? ) Calculator ( accountant? ) Credit Card ( businessman? ) FYI, the fir...

KL Chinatown : Pork butcher (4) Swiped from Liyin the Designer in Pajamas . Note: A caveat for my Muslim readers-- Kerbau Pendek ahead. There's this butcher at the Taman United wet market who is super nice to his female helper. Even with the sleep not yet rub off from your eyes, just a slight taste of their conversation can immediately wake you up and set your bulu roma to attention: PoP: Ming, Ah Ming. Help me collect MYR30 from the auntie. Emmmmmmm koi.... PoP: Ming, Ah Ming. Please help me keep 2 kidneys for the auntie. Emmmmm koi.... Auntie: (rolls her eyes) Aiyoh! Suffix, postfix also em koi, em koi, em koi. Beh tahan.... I think after many complaints and comments from his customers, he has stopped doing it of late. Market courtship or gentlemanly conduct? Whatever the case, it's a pity that we let others dictate how we want to show our affection le... hehe

Melaka2009051 Swiped from williamnyk . Note: A little something that happened ages ago... Enjoy! Usually, I would go to Singapore ( once in a while ) or KH would travel back home to KL ( the ommon case ) and we would have our reunion. This time round, we took another approach-- meeting somewhere in the middle. POD had planned a JJCM ( eat, eat, eat ) trip to Melaka, so we met there over the weekend. SK and I drove down from KL, while POD, Nic, JJ and KH rented a car from JB. Initially, we had planned to meet at noon, but due to some unexpected delays with the car rental agency ( Avis sucks ), SK and I suddenly had 3 hours to burn in Melaka. At first, we spent some time walking around Melaka Mall . Horrible. Luckily, she managed to get hold of an old friend from her uni days ( the chap's nick is Mosquito! ) and he took us for lunch in town. Dirt cheap and delicious-- char siew , roast pork, scrambled eggs, pickled vegetables and beancurd only came to MYR12, inclusive of dri...

Dorayaki Boy Swiped from williamnyk . Overheard in Kampachi , The Pavilion: Woman: I'll have the Kakiage Don set. Waiter: Very good, miss. (after 15 minutes) Waiter: Here's your Kakiage Don. Woman: ( looking hither and thither ) Where's the rice? Waiter: (pointing towards the bowl) ...... under the Kakiage ..... The food at Kampachi ( of Equatorial Hotel ) is quite good, but I must say that the waitresses they employ could have been a little less Chinese-restaurant-y. Prices are quite fair at about MYR40 and above for dinner sets. The Chirashi Don that I ordered was nice, with quality fish and seaweed. The hojicha is good too. Give it a try.

Melbourne20090410 Swiped from williamnyk . Once again, we checked out and loaded everything into the Tarrago. Breakfast was eggs benedict with hollondaise sauce at a nearby diner. We backtracked to the Twelve Apostles again as my bro-in-law wanted to pictures of it in better lighting conditions. After that, we stopped at London Bridge . Another product of erosion from the waves. It looks nothing like London Bridge of course, unless you down a couple of psychotropic pills. It was a nice sight anyway. Next was The Arch . It was fun looking at how the strong waves pushed a big hole into the limestone. Another breathtaking sight. Loch Ard Gorge was last on our list. It was the site of a famous shipwreck were only 2 people survived. From the way things were, it was easy to imagine how the ships were downed by the cliffs and boulders in the area. We had to rush back to Melbourne to take our flight, so we bid the Great Ocean Road farewell and took the shorter inland road back via Co...

Melbourne2009049 Swiped from williamnyk . First thing in the morning, we checked out of our apartment and lugged everything into the Tarrago. The GPS was set to Torquay and "avoid toll roads" and we were on our way. Breakfast was at Anglesea , where the sea supposedly meets the bush. Had breakfast of a quiche lorraine , apple strudel and a heavenly chocolate mousse for mum's birthday. I had a hard time trying to communicate with the girl at the bakery: Me: Can you get me a fork? Girl: What? Me: A fork. Girl: A what? Me: F-O-R-K. Girl: Oh, a foRRk. Must have been that my Klingon had a Malaysian accent. Mum did some shopping at the local Salvation Army Thrift Shop, can you believe it? From there on, we had hit the Great Ocean Road, a super-winding, scenic road that takes you real close to the South Australian coastline. One lane up. One lane down. With overtaking bays that allow for slower vehicles to turn in as to give way. They double as lookout points too. Fantasti...

Melbourne2009047 Swiped from williamnyk . Early in the morning, bro-in-law and I took a brisk morning walk to Franklin Street to collect our Toyota Tarrago ( that's Estima to us ) from the people at Hertz. After they explained everything to us, we drove back to Flinders Lane to pick up the rest. The drive out to Phillip Island was quite pleasant in the large vehicle since my little nephew needed so much ka chang . And the GPS made things a lot easier and harder at the same time. Heather/Susan: Bear left! Bear right! Make a sharp left turn! Traffic control! You have reached your destination It was quite a challenge referring to the GPS, looking out for traffic and pedestrians and watching your speed. And so, I took on the job as navigator. Such a redundant job hor? Hehe. We arrived in about less than 2 hours with a short breakfast stop at a diner in Pelican Bay . The island is quite picturesque with Windows XP default wallpaper-like scenery. Sheep. Cows. Vineyards. The wo...

gravitation Swiped from Tsuki Aoi . Note: A little breather from my Melbourne series. Wanted to post this since my last Singpore trip! When I copied the anime "Gravitation" from KH, he merely told me that it was about a music band. A simple and mundane as an anime about baking bread, playing football or catching beetles ( I'm sure it exists ). Me being me, I finished the porn first before moving on to it. The squeeze of boredom. But after watching the first episode, I was pleasantly surprised! "Gravitation" turns out to be a "boys' love" anime! Quite the classic recipe of annoying, clingy brat falls for the brooding and handsome older guy. Shuichi is the lead singer of "Bad Luck" and he falls in love with a famous romance novelist, Yuki. Shuichi is portrayed as confused and Yuki carries enough emotional baggage to fill an Airbus. Most of the early episodes end with Yuki and Shuichi in some kind of "action". Throw in som...

Melbourne20090423 Swiped from williamnyk . On Sunday, mum and I took a gamble and went out to St. Patrick's Church hoping to be on time for mass. We hopped on the tram and in no time reached the Mother Church of the Melbourne Archdiocese. Turns out that we were in time. The cathedral was quite a sight. Not as ornate as St. Paul's, but it has its appeal. Not many parishioners were there as expected and around half of those celebrating the eucharist were tourists. After mass, we took pictures inside the church but we later found out that it was not allowed! Adoi ! But we had more fun cam-whoring outside anyway. :P. At the side, there's a statue of Mother Mary holding aloft a crown of thorns ( interesting to note that earlier in the morning, I spied a stick-on grafitti of the Virgin Mary baring her boobs ). And in Her sleeve, a JVC camcorder was slotted in! I don't know if that's vandalism, art or a security camera. Out of the blue, more than 20 altar boys su...