will i am's delayed diary

I'll be frolicking with kangaroos, koalas, wombats, emus and penguins for a week starting Wednesday. See ya! -- Regards, William

Kusanagi of SMAP fame said it best, "There is nothing wrong with being naked." Yes, there's nothing wrong. Now for the rest of the members to make the same declaration. ;) -- Regards, William

Over a cup of Teh C ( yes, at the Siew Keong place ), my Burmese colleague out of the blue regaled me about tales of penile enhancement, all for the sake of female satisfaction , eh-hem. The things he described really caused me to scrunch up my face, even worse than staring down at a cockroach leg in one's cup. Heh. D-I-Y projects with little glass beads and a razor with a smidgen of antibiotic cream for a bumpier ride with the ladies ( gotta ask SK what she thinks of this ). And heaven forbid sewing knots of horsehair into the penile skin to keep the women coming back for more and more. Ghastly! If it was me, I'd rather stick to a Swarovski-encrusted dildo than an accessorized cock! Have a nice weekend, folks! I on the other hand, have to work! :(

It's a small thing really. But it makes me happy. I used to just expect it. And naturally was disappointed. Hence I opened my mouth, made my expectations known. It was acknowledged. I was happy for a time. But that has degenerated. It makes no sense, huh? It does to me. Time to accept the fact. -- Regards, William

I have seen ISO9001:2008 at work and I must say that I'm a true believer that these certifications mean squat. Remember my post about KL Monorail's recent quality management announcement? Well, to THEM, certification means taking more than a week to get an escalator fixed and allowing chaos at the interchange stations during rush hour. Trains brimming. Stations brimming. Splendid. So much for that. -- Regards, William

The latest updates are in for my underwear collection! Here are the additions: Dugas + 1 2xist + 2 (ehsan KH) DKNY + 1 (ehsan KH) Private Structure + 1 Hehe. :). -- Regards, William

SingaporeHols20093 Swiped from williamnyk . Taking a cue from Apollo, I woke up at 7:45am to "ready my man" for work. However, KH was the one fretting over me, making me breakfast of hamster grains and milk ( so tiring to chew that sawdust ). I walked with him to the bus stop to send him off and familiarise myself with the layout of JJ's condo area. It felt good waving him off... A strange feeling. But a good one. Back upstairs, I started my domestic drudgery by ironing his clothes. I suspect that he was purposely delaying his ironing in anticipation of my arrival. :P. With that out of the way, I went online and by 11:00am I was preparing to go out to meet KH, JJ and K850i for lunch at Hachi Tei . Had a nice lunch of chirashi don and JJ even managed to get a discount off the bill. K850i was regaling us with tales of his dragon-boating. Never fails to trigger imagery of tanned hunks exerting themselves... yummy! With KH ( he came all the way from Paya Lebar just ...

Three simple words. KH and I use it so often that I sometimes fear that it would lose its potency and meaning. In our countless daily SMS, we sign off with it. At the end of our nightly phone conversations (or phone sex, :p), we say it to each other in addition to the standard "good night". But tonight, KH suddenly spoke the three words shyly mid-conversation. I thought he had office gossip to share or some update on upcoming trips. It sounded so sweet to my ears and rang out loudly though it was a whisper compared to our usual conversational tone. Amused and elated at the same time, I replied him in the age-old manner, "I love you too", after making him repeat it three times. Lol. I still feel warm and fuzzy and inexplicably happy. And of course, a little bit horny! -- Regards, William

I had my very own Earth Hour when I got home from work yesterday. The lights were out for a couple of hours, so I can even rephrase it as Earth Hours. Had a candle-lit dinner and I read a bit of the papers by the flickering light. Luckily it rained, so I didn't miss the fan that much. Even my CDMA phone line died. As time stretched on, the only natural thing to do was to stuff my mouth. Before I knew it, the light was back on. Tomorrow, the saga continues. No water for twelve hours. >_<" -- Regards, William

Easter marks one the holiest days in the Christian calendar as it commemorates the resurrection of Jesus Christ on the third day after he was cruxified and died for the sins of mankind. For the Church and the faithful, everything hinges on this belief. However, I find myself having the skankiest of SMS conversations with Potato Bill on Easter Sunday. Not about religion of course, but the Easter Bunny side of it. Talks of easter eggs with creamy fillings, white chocolate bunnies that one would chew on the whole day, rummaging one's easter basket for goodies and treats... Never will I look at the Easter Bunny the same way again! Happy Easter everybody! -- Regards, William

Golden Panda Swiped from williamnyk . In case you don't know, I actually have 48 days of annual leave left and I'm desperate to clear them off before my company forfeits 'em all. Hence, I made a leave plan that will allow me to do so, IF the work schedule permits. Heaven has been kind enough to let things fall into place and I was granted a week's absence from the office. And so, I flew down on JetStar to Changi Terminal 1 ( over-rated, IMHO, but immigration was fast and it was short way to the belt ). The flight was a bit bumpy, but that was expected with the weather and small aircraft. Read in the in-flight magazine that getting a Singapore Sling at the Raffles Hotel is a must-do! Sei lor . While I was waiting at the arrival hall, I overheard the most "precious" phone conversation: He was telling me like the girls he was flirting with... and I was like screw you... I'm at Clark Quay at the moment and I can just snap my fingers and guys would com...

Just came back from my week long visit to Singapore and the Monday that I started work on was quite a bitch-- Unfinished business and issues that my colleagues conveniently KIV-ed for me, awaiting my imminent return. But I must give credit that they did a great job of covering for me. Well, the shit was eventually settled, and naturally more shit was generated. Even so, I was quite surprised that my crankiness was quite under control. My voice had a calm quality to it. I did not feel like venting. The break did me much good it seems. A getaway from work works wonders for my temper. And the sex, definitely the sex. LOL. FYI, the BF is flying down for Easter, so the "holidays" can begin again! -- Regards, William

Stalker Swiped from K!T . During my visit to the DAP CNY open house this year, I bumped into a very pengsan uncle by the name of Loo. He wanted to have his photo taken with one famous, unmarried DAP MP, so he employed my help. I should have just shut up and took their photo with his cellphone. Regret hardly covers what I'm feeling for offering to do it with my camera. So, we exchanged contact information and I got his address. It took me some time to develop his photo as my sister wanted to do bulk processing, so I piggy-backed his photo on her batch. And this caused me heartache to no end. He kept on calling me, asking about the status. Day and night. So desperate to see the photo. And when I finally post the photo to him, stupid POS Malaysia f*cks up and takes more than a week to deliver it and this causes the old fart to call me many-many more times. One day, he caught me during a bad day at work and I just kinda blew my top. Told him off. As though I was trying to ke...

Coming back from a short trip to Haadyai, my colleague gave me a keychain as a souvenier ( gah! ). However, it's not as boring as it sounds. It's actually a metal keychain of two people having sex. Perky tits and a horse cock. And it has moving parts, mind you! With some help, the "guy" can f*ck the "gal" doggie style ( other positions are available, trust them to come up with variety ). Like some kind of X-rated shadow puppets. Cute, ain't it? Although I would have preferred it to be two guys, the quality is bad enough that the "gal" can be mistaken for a deformed "guy". So the next time you're in the Land of Smiles, do try to get some of these erotically-educational keychains.