Sunday, June 28, 2015
Will You Marry Me?
In the United States of America, the Supreme Court ruled by a 5-to-4 vote on Friday that the Constitution guarantees a right to same-sex marriage. Although in another continent, this landmark ruling caused a huge reaction in Malaysia with my FB stream cumming six colour rainbows the whole day! And its great to see even straight friends showing their support.
No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right.
On the subject of marriage, KH did broach the subject during our visit to Vancouver last year (Canada legalized same-sex marriage in 2005). He actually did some research and contacted a marriage commissioner (she had a cute e-mail handle-- itheewed) to try to arrange something. She explained the procedures and requirements for a license and witnesses. Knowing how clueless people can be, she also readily suggested ideas for the ceremony:
"I'm attaching some ideas to help. The sentences that are highlighted in yellow are legally required. Other than that, you can have any words you want, as long as there are no religious references."
It's nice that they know how to properly separate between Church and State. At the time, it seemed all so ad hoc to me. I wasn't thrilled at the idea of getting a shotgun ceremony in a hotel room with random people as witnesses. To keep a long story short, we did not get married in Vancouver. But that does not mean that I rejected KH. Undoubtedly KH is my husband. Not a single day goes by that "I do" is absent in our thoughts and actions. Perhaps some day we will get that official piece of paper and celebrate surrounded by those we care about.
"I choose you KH as my husband, my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live."