Friday, February 07, 2014

Ever Wondered Why Santa Doesn't Have Kids?

Ball Heaven by williamnyk
Ball Heaven, swiped from williamnyk on Flickr.
Christmas was a major monster madness for me. Mum went to get her hair done at A-Saloon, IOI Mall, so the whole tribe went. The cold perm took nearly three hours, so I had the fun of babysitting. My sister suggested that I take them to Reka Zone, which I did. Cost MYR33 for two monsters. Actually monsters below the age of two do not need to pay, but I did not have the MyKID to prove it. And you have to wear socks inside, else they charge you a hand and a foot for it. So what do you get for your money? Just a padded playground really. The staff won't take care of your kids. They're just there to make sure that monstrous monsters don't tear the house down or get themselves killed. The main attraction of the whole place is balls. Lots and lots of balls. Plastic balls. Nerf balls. All sorts of colours. Pools of balls. They even have pneumatic machines that pump balls all over the place. If you like, you can even have a battle with nerf ball guns. I basically let Big Monster go play by his own. Most of my attention was on Little Monster. Had to guide him up and down the slides and see that he doesn't slip. Many of the parents inside looked indifferent to all the chaos that was going on. Like passed out alcoholics, they just sleep there while their kids rampage through the place. In the middle of the playroom, there was play house that Little Monster was attracted too. When I related it to his favourite "Three Little Piggies and the Big Bad Wolf" story, he got a bit freaked out. LOL. By the second hour, Little Monster started getting cranky, so I pulled him out of the fray and gave him a biscuit at the rest area. While on my lap, he just fell asleep. LOL. I moved into a more comfortable position and let him sleep for about half an hour. Found a cosy corner and flipped through an issue of Ujang. Craned my neck around for Big Monster once in a while. He was running around with a couple of girls jumping into the ball pool and going crazy in the balloon room. When mum was done, I collected the kids and we went for a late lunch at Papa John's. Not my first choice for food, but Big Monster likes it. At the end of the day, I felt so tired. One would think that a 'controlled' environment like Reka Zone would make things easier, but that ain't true at all. Babysitting should be as easy as feeding them vodka and letting them sleep the afternoon away! LOL.


Tempus said...

Cause santa is too old to fuck! lol. Kids eh? I would be the big bad monster while T should be the one they all confide to muahahahahah

untold stories said...

Strangely, these play areas filled with balls never appealed to me back then

William said...

LOL. Don't be surprised by Santa's stamina

Now they do? Balls in dark places. :P

Derek said...

Wanna help you take care of the kids!