will i am's delayed diary

St. James Park II Swiped from williamnyk . Remember the "Mr. Bean" episode where Rowan Atkinson plays the fool with the Guard in the ever recognizable furry Bearskin Cap? Well, KH and I went to see the Changing of the Guard at Buckingham Palace and did nothing of the sort. Haha. Anyway, we woke up early on Wednesday and made our way to St. James Park first. Admired the beautiful blooms, especially the tulips. Big-ass squirrels also stalk the grounds and aren't afraid of humans. Plenty of people were lounging on the benches and the grass, soaking up the relaxing atmosphere. Managed to catch sight of some mounted police too. Walked the stretch of the park to the palace where we tried to squat at a piece of real estate along the gates to watch the preparation of the Changing of the Guard. Marching. Brass band. The works. Due to the coming royal wedding, plenty of international press was present to film. Caught sight of a semi-cute Asian cameraman. ;). After the g

An Enveloped Envelope Swiped from williamnyk . A conversation with Citibank Customer Service: Moi: A question. Citibank doesn't send envelopes to their customers anymore? For the last two months, I did not receive envelopes together with my hardcopy account statements. CS: Actually, you can also use your own envelope. Moi: Let me get this straight. Citibank is not sending envelopes to ALL customer or am I the only one? CS: But if you frequently make payments via IBG, we will stop sending you envelopes. Moi: Out of ten times, maybe once I pay via IBG. CS: Oh... Moi: Please send me envelopes next time. CS: I will put in your request, pending the bank's approval. Moi: PLEASE send me envelopes next time. And in the mail some days later, I received an envelope inside an envelope. Thank you Citibank for spending MYR0.60 to send me an evelope. HAHAHAHAHA.

boobs Swiped from psychopompous9 . Lets take a break from my long-winded Europe trip and talk about something more interesting for a while. This happened at the Masjid Jamek LRT station about a month ago! Trains heading towards Seri Petaling come at regular intervals of five minutes during peak hours. In between, we get trains heading towards Ampang. Looking at the board, I saw that the next train was Ampang-bound, so I stood in between the train doors, letting the Ampang passengers line up. My logic is, after the Ampang train leaves I could easily step to either side to line up for my train. Thought that I wouldn't I wouldn't be in the way too. Wrong! When the Ampang train opened its doors, three blur Malay girls came right at me, oblivious to me standing right there. Not like I'm rail-thin or anything and for goodness sake, I was carrying a giant orange laptop bag ( think Kurosaki Ichigo's hair ), one could spot me a mile away. But anyway, the trio tried to d

Tower of London Swiped from williamnyk . On a sunny morning, we made our way to the Tower of London . Mr. Sunshine was so strong that we didn't even need our jackets. Paid the GBP20 and went in to look at... an old castle. Although it undoubtedly has a rich history, it failed to impress KH and I. Just halfway listening to the weirdly-dressed yeoman, we started yawning. Undoubtedly had a dark history, but we couldn't stay interested. If you must know, it became the prison for Thomas More and Anne Boleyn. Thomas Cromwell and Catherine Howard also met their executioners there. If the names sound familiar, try digging out your Form 4 history textbook. The line to see the crown jewels were very long, so we gave that a miss. Instead we looked at exhibitions in the White Tower. Henry VIII's armour really caught my eye with its protruding metal codpiece. Exiting the place, we went to the bank of the Thames to catch sight of Tower Bridge that is often mistaken as London Brid

Welcome Cart Swiped from williamnyk . P.S.: Watch out for the deluge of photos! Heathrow T4 was nothing to shout about. Quite bare really. The immigration officer asked a whole lot of questions about our itinerary and who we were staying with. so you really know the person. Have you ever met the person? Just a friend of a friend? What is the address? Yadda, yadda, yadda... At least customs did not hassle us like what happened to me in Melbourne~ all blue gloves and ransacking your luggage. We waited a while before Matt and Jess, our host and hostess arrived. They were so nice to actually come pick us up before going to work! And it was a fifty minute Tube ride from town. :D. The first thing I learned about the Tube is that people in London stand on the right of the escalator. Was also shocked at how tiny the train was. Small even for 'petite' Asians and it services an ang moh Metropolis. Tak sangka . Oh yeah, it doesn't have air-conditioning too. Just open the air

PuTien20112 Swiped from williamnyk . The next morning, KH brought me to the Church of the Immaculate Heart of Mary for Palm Sunday Mass. So cute that KH complained why the church had such a long name. He had left his camera battery charger at the office, so he did not join me for mass ( a good excuse hor? Do you think it was engineered? ). The Lord was kind to me as there were cuties sitting nearby. :P. Sign language was used in the church for the benefit of the deaf. Not bad. Palm Sunday Mass is one of the longer masses with the reenactment of the condemning of Christ to the cross. The congregation would yell, "Cruxify him! Cruxify him!". A reminder of our sin. After church, I went around taking a few photos. Syiok sendiri that kids from the youth group invited me to their activity. Can still cheat people with this face. :P. Then it was off to lunch with Kidz at Pu Tien , NEX. Wonderful food there and very attentive service. So attentive that the waitress brought

iPhoneEurope Swiped from williamnyk . My memory isn't what it used to be, so I'll try to put my Europe trip in writing before I forget something ( but this time round I have the help of a snappy iPhone app called "Trip Journal" )! Uncommon for my blog really. Posts on my blog are like bread. I usually leave them to "stand" for a while before "baking". So sit back and relax and open up a bag of potato chips. It's going to be a long-winded journey! It all began on a Saturday afternoon... SK wasn't feeling well, so I took a cab down to KLIA after an early lunch at home. My regular cabbie was occupied, so his colleague came instead. Those two are really opposites. One's like a stump and the other is a chatterbox. Upon alighting the cab, I was welcomed by a LONG line at the Jetstar counter. Luckily they had 4 counters open, else I would have been really mang zang . To while away the time, I sat at O'Brien's for a cup of tea

My goodness. I dreamt that I was on the LRT with several Japanese porn actors and they were in numerous states of undress! A first time that a porn star has ever 'penetrated my dream sphere'. :P. Even in the dream world, I whipped out my iPhone to start taking pics for my segment of "LRT Celebrities"! On instinct. Second nature. LOL. My readers whould have been thrilled to see pics of a hot guy with the sexy V of his lower abdomen seductively exposed. We alighted at the same station, and I thought to myself, "I got to get an autograph!!!". Chased after them up a hill. Then I woke up. :S. I know for sure that Nagi from "Coat West" was in my dream. The rest were a blur. He's the guy on the right in both pics. I'm not exactly a fan of him. Not quite sure why he was the most memorable face.

Hello! I'm in KH's room at the moment. Will be going off to the airport in a bit to catch my flight back to Kuala Lumpur. Managed to shrug off the jet lag with some much needed sleep, skankin' and melatonin. Will blog about my trip when I get everything organized. Hopefully work won't bog me down too much. Keeping my fingers crossed on that one. In case you didn't know, it's General Election fever in Singapore at the moment. Campaigning is mild by Malaysian standards IMHO. But I heard something interesting here. From a very young opposition candidate, Nicole Seah. She had this to say in response to the PAP "suggesting" that areas that do not vote for them may not see much upgrading: "I ask you Minister, isn't the money for upgrading OUR MONEY? Isn't your salary OUR MONEY?" This is exactly what we hear in Malaysia, except in our context it's "development" rather than "upgrading". I definitely want

London underground Swiped from doug88888 . Remember the Japanese series "Long Vacation"? Starred Takuya Kimura, the Japanese heartthrob with hair that by itself has star factor. I still remember my ex-coursemate telling me what her Japanese languange tutor said: "I can't believe he married that cow! I'm much prettier than his wife!" Goodness. I digress. FYI, this blog will be quiet for two weeks. I'll be off on a long vacation with KH. A honeymoon? Haha. But I will definitely be longest time we will spend together in one stretch! Don't think I'll schedule any posts. Not really my style. I'll try to post something if I get a WIFI connection. Will I be missed? ( I know ChatMate will ) I know I will miss everyone in the blogosphere. So here's my itinerary: The Lion City Big Ben The genius of Gaudi Kölner Dom Sacré Cœur Prince William and Kate Middleton Jet-lagged in Serangoon The harsh reality of Kuala Lumpur See ya!

Goemon IV Swiped from williamnyk . With KH's limited connectivity at his new rented place these days, he no longer has any new porn for me to copy... So I had to resort to copying less stimulating movies. A Japanese production entitled Goemon caught my eye. Interesting cinematography. Very stylized. Elaborate costumes with rich textiles. Feudal Japan meets J-pop meets The Renaissance. Some exaggerated historical references. But the story is kinda unfocused. It starts off with a Robin Hood theme, but it seems to branch out to political ploys, loyalty, murders, love, etc. Entertaining, but not exactly a very good movie. I'll just leave you with some screenshots of the actor pouring a bucket of cold water over his toned body after a night of hot sex from the movie. Yes, yes, my movie reviews suck. :P

Tohtonku and ThompsonBoy both sent me a link to www.tubecrush.net . "LRT Celebrities" definitely draws parallels from this interesting site. Who knows, if I ever get enough submissions, Malaysia may get its own version of TubeCrush. Wonder what would be a suitable name...? Care to brainstorm with me? I'll leave you with the second submission from Ash. A buffed Middle Eastern guy with big arms on PUTRA LRT. Not quite my type. I would have given the guy beside him a second look instead.

The Rosary Swiped from williamnyk . It was the fourth week of Lent. Decided to skip Stations of the Cross that day as we had come early for the Holy Rosary session. Lunch was at a nearby coffee shop in Kg. Chempaka. Just MYR8.00 for two plates of chicken rice, a plate of liver and a big bowl of water cress soup. Cheap and tasty, but the shop was really dirty. Somehow kesedapan berkadar songsang dengan kebersihan . What to expect from a new village setting? Went over to The Gardens to escape the heat. The sky had been constipated for days, refusing to rain. As usual, SK started the ball rolling by buying a Radley handbag at Robinsons. Then mum joined the fray with an XOXO handbag and a pair of red Zang Toi shoes. After paying for everything, we were just in time for the Uluwatu fashion show. It was fashion week, and The Gardens was decked out with artifical albino flowers. Didn't quite like the concept. The images of the models floating about the catwalk in the handmade Bal

Kiss My Chopsticks Swiped from williamnyk . Out of the blue, Briyani Blue Sky called me on Saturday evening. He had managed to secure a 'date' with SimonLover and HornyBf. Couldn't pass over such a golden opportunity so I agreed to the yumcha session. At around 9:00pm, there was still no news about the location, so I issued a veto-- Kissaten , Jaya One. Was tempted to drink at Brussels Beer Garden, but looking at the noise and the smoke, Kissaten was a much better choice. By 10:15pm, everyone had arrived. Finally saw HornyBf. No lovey-dovey antics from them. No PDA. Lou fu, lou chai they claimed. Grilled HornyBf a bit about all the things that SimonLover had said about. All the skanky exploits and 'insuated infidelity'. The poor fella was at a loss of how to expel the 'accusations' and regain his 'innocent reputation'. Tiada api manakan ada asap kan? Hahahahaha. Was cute to find that SimonLover actually 'reminded' HornyBf not to

Unlucky Number Three Had dinner at Restaurant 83 the other day. Ordered wat tan hor from one of the stalls. Told the blur-looking Burmese my order and he gave me a number. A big #3. I went back to the table. After like twenty minutes, I saw a Burmese waiter walking around with a plate of noodles. I flashed him my number, he looked at me, I looked at him and he walked away. "Damn, my order is not ready yet", I thought. Waited for another fifteen minutes. SK had finished her pork noodles. I walked over to the stall and see a plate of wat tan hor there. I ask the fella if it's mine. He told me #3. Told him to bring it to my table. I gave the waiter MYR10. I took one bite and found it cold. As cold as our FLOM on her hubby's bed. I took it back and told them to reheat it for me. I waited for another ten minutes. Did the idiot understand me?! Furious, I walked back to the stall. Guess what, my wat tan hor was sitting there after being reheated. Shook my head in disb

Free Parking Swiped from my new clever name . Carrefour Endah Parade used to be a VERY happening place. The crowds there were unrivalled back in its hey day. Now, the whole complex is rundown with a low tenancy rate. And most tenants are seedy massage parlours manned by China dolls ( no Ken dolls, sorry ). And things became much worse after they imposed parking charges. Seri Petaling folks could not accept it and started going to other places to get their groceries. To counter the problem, Carrefour offers free parking for customers who purchase a minimum of MYR30. Mum purchased two packets of Milo and a bottle of ice cream soda ( BIL had finished our alcohol mixer! ). The total came to MYR29.98. Paid MYR30 due to the Central Bank's round-up rules. So we brought the parking ticket to be validated. "Ini takde free parking. 29.98 sahaja" "Oi! 29.98, tapi saya bayar 30 tau!" "Tak boleh." Celaka betul . Such an insincere policy. Padan muka dia bis

Witch Swiped from bumblebin . That's how an advertorial in MStar starts. In case there are question marks above your head, let me translate... "my husband knows my intimate secret". And it comes with a picture of the lady boss cum spokesperson with a super sloppy grin and a sexy pose ( but it looks like she's in an epileptic fit, but I guess that can be attributed to the fact that she's wearing a girdle three sizes too small ). It never fails to amuse how blatantly these sex-related products are sold in the Malay market. Here's an excerpt from the write-up: "Akar Serapat pula herba yang boleh merapatkan faraj dan memberikan bau yang enak di sekitar vagina.... Gabungan herba ini mampu mengeringkan luaran vagina untuk kelihatan sihat dan segar...." It basically means that the herbs can help to 'tighten' an 'over-stretched' and 'over-used' vajayjay and at the same time giving it a refreshing aroma. WTF. I think these cla

Phalaenopsis Swiped from williamnyk . Typical marketing on Saturday with the only variation being that I had to pick up a flower arrangement from my friend at LRT Seri Petaling. Ordered it about a month ago for the opening of SK's new company. Nearly forgot if not for the SMS reminder I received the night before. It was beautiful white Phalaenopsis orchids potted in a glass vase. Knowing my friend's artistic talent, he embellished it with an intricate bamboo structure at the base and a mesh ribbon. I like his style. Must be his Ikebana training. Later in the afternoon, mum went out with friends and I stayed at home till dinner time. SK treated me to some Chinese dishes at Mama's Kitchen , Bandar Puteri Puchong. Our original plan was Restoran Drunken Tiger at Jalan Kenari, but after spending 40 minutes looking for it only to find it closed.... we changed plans. It was a real pain getting her Garmin to work. "Awaiting Better Accuracy". "Awaiting Better

Note: This post is to commemorate the MYR0.20 price increase for RON97 starting today. It now costs MYR2.70 per litre. The Shell Station at Bandar Kinrara 5B opened with much fanfare last last Saturday ( don't you love stale stories? ). Balloons. Flags. Pavilions. Loud music. Inane emcees. Stupid jokes. Police dog demonstrations. Cheerleaders. Live band. Amazing. I made a stop to pump some petrol and in the process was solicited by a girl in a short skirt to use V-Power 97. I just uh-huh-ed and went on my way. Fetched SK to my place. Was thinking of lunch when I suddenly remembered about the carnival at the petrol station. Free food. Yes, free food! So, mum, SK and I made our way there though it had started to rain. :P. Made our way to the food. A generous spread of nasi minyak , nasi lemak , beef rendang , ayam masak merah , ulam and dhaal . Then there was pau inti kelapa and fried anchovy sambal buns. On top of that, there were goodie bags, freebies and lucky draws! Impress