Monday, March 30, 2009

Muddy Mudskipper


Muddy Mudskipper
Swiped from twm1340.
For years and years, I visited my late aunt at her fishing village at Bagan Sungai Burung (near Sabak Bernam) and the one thing that always fascinated me was the mudskippers behind her house. I would thrown si ham shells at the buggers they would either scamper or just stare at me blankly with their weird eyes. Little did I know that they had a secret-- they're used as an aphrodisiac. I first heard about from my colleague. Banting folk cut 'em up and smear the blood over their peckers for erectile problems!! Shocking, right? Even more shocking is when I saw this selling in my neighbourhood pharmacy:

Virile For Men is a penis cream with exotic Periophthalmodon schlosseri (mudskipper la!) pheromone extract blended with essential secret aphrodisiac herbs suitable for treating premature ejaculation, giving enormous erection and lasting pleasure thus radually increasing your penis size.... The cream is formulated with aromatic emollient and herbs, which help remove built up-dirt on penis foreskin thus leaving your penis fresh and invigorated (I'm just gonna brush my foreskin with Colgate Total)....You can see your penis erect solid hard for longer than you expected and you can certainly feel the firmness and girth. Our cream increases the ability to control ejaculation more easily and produces larger, fuller erections which results in exotic orgasm (gotta get me some of that mudskipper orgasm!)... Attain the secret that drives women (and men, mind you) crazy with Virile for Men.

The advancement of science and technology. The modernisation of folk remedies. Some horny UKM professor actually managed to extract out the active ingredient in mudskippers that help in ED! Necessity is the father of all inventions! And as usual, sex sells!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Nelly: It's Hot in Hurrrr...


HotAirBalloon
Swiped from williamnyk.
I usually work on Saturdays, but that week, I couldn't care less about the project and decided to take things easy. However, it doesn't mean that I slept in and holed myself up the whole day watching DVDs and stuffing my face. Instead, I woke up at 7:00am to send my mum to her seminar at Sunway Resort Hotel, whereas SK and I went to the wet market. Thought that perhaps Xavier and Damon would join us for breakfast at Sri Petaling, but it was an "ungodly" hour and they weren't up yet. Had some mamak food and made a trip to the pharmacy. Then we headed to SK's place where I got my weekly dose of the internet (stupid P1 covers BK5 and Taman Equine but conveniently overlooks Taman Puncak Jalil **sulk**). On the other hand, SK prepared a lunch of porridge, pig kidney in rice wine, fried fish, luncheon meat, stir-fried celery and century quail eggs. Xavier and Damon had finally awoken and joined us for lunch instead. Had a rare chat with them after the wonderful lunch.

We were so bored after that, so I decided to swim at KT's place. Unfortunately, that plan was scuttled due to pool maintenance and the pool at the neighbouring apartment was teeming with kids. Dejected, we went for coffee (not filtered well) and steamed bread with kaya (not bad) at Pappa Coffee, Citrus Park. Just as we finished the last sip of our kopi o, it was already time to pick up my mum. We immediately made a bee line for Putrajaya to see the The First International Hot Air Balloon Festival. Precint 2 was jammed pack with cars and people (didn't see any traffic police at all!). Luckily we found a spot to park smack dab in front of the MOF. Due to delay in the schedule, we managed to catch the bulk of the balloons being inflated and flying off. The stupid emcee kept on making lame jokes about Nelly, the Belgian pink elephant balloon. As with the Nescafe balloon, it did not take off. Dinner was a quick personal pizza from the Pizza Hut truck and off we were again to BEC (the Catholic equivalent of cell groups) at OUG. Hardly any time to rest, but it was a fulfilling Saturday...

Friday, March 27, 2009

Marmalade


Marmalade
Swiped from williamnyk.
In my sulky state of having been overlooked for this year's Maulidur Rasul Award, I made my first visit to Plaza Mont Kiara. On that drizzly morning, I sent my mum for her eleven o' clock appointment at Cahya for a body scrub and a hot stone aromatherapy massage, compliments of my hotel membership thingy (a repeated con!). SK and I had two hours to kill, so we went roaming around the place. SK managed to get a Roxy dress at some parallel import place and we were so bored that we even went into the Asiana Mart and other stores. The presence of security personnel is high and they are very friendly. Gurkhas I think, with their hats. After forty minutes or so, we parked our behinds at Marmalade, a place recommended by our neighbourhood foodie, Jason Jr. Fruit juice, cappucino and a generous slice of carrot cake. It had a nice frosting and was topped with none other than marmalade. Quite nice. Before we knew it, we were back up at the spa and sipping hibiscus-strawberry tea again. My mother was said it was quite good, but she still prefers Chakras as the facilities and service is better.

P.S.: I bet Lifebook would make a great spa mama-san if given the chance.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Banned

I'm taking five days of annual leave next week for a prolonged
conjugal visit to Singapore. It's my chance to relax a little from
work, clear leave and try my hand at domestic life with KH. Effective
today, the boyfriend has barred me from all skanky activities until I
touchdown at Changi! Really have to mark the days... >_<" Hehe.

--
Regards,
William

Monday, March 23, 2009

LRT Celebrities Makes a Comeback!


It has been ages since I blogged about the weird and wonderful personalities on KL's light rail transit system. And so, I'm back with two new additions and an update on a regular. To start it off, I'll have you know that Fabio has finally cut off his long, luscious locks for a shorter look. Kinda like Madonna or Anita Mui. Hopefully there isn't some Samson and Delilah story behind the drastic change. The first newcomer is Mangaka. On the whole journey, he just sits there doodling anime schoolgirls in his sketchbook. He flips from page to page, finishing a detail here, ending a stroke there, only to begin back at where he started. Amusing. The second is Mr. Read-Aloud. Believe it or not, he reads the newspaper aloud like when I did in primary one. I don't know if it's a force of habit or an attempt to improve his pronunciation, but I personally feel that the LRT is not the right place to do that. But if he didn't, he wouldn't have found his thirty seconds of fame here! Oh well... until the next edition of LRT Celebrities! ***applause applause***

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Monkey See, Monkey Do

The President of my Di Association recently presented me with a cute Paul Frank button badge during his last trip to KL. So gwai! He bought it so that SK could buy her Paul Frank undies at half price. Watch out people, she's amassing a huge collection as we speak. Definitely someone to look out for in the underwear collector's race. And so, I present the latest family tree for your perusal. Already at v1.2. Several changes have taken place. Among the most notable are Lifebook becoming SK's gor (a rich one, mind you) and my di Kenz breaking up with Rich (:(). Oh yeah, and SK is no nearer to getting inseminated by Alex. You guys can set up a betting pool. But beware of Savante tilting the odds by means of alcohol... oppps.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Iodine Gets in your Eyes

With the sleep still in her eyes, mum went downstairs to use some eye drops for her dry eye syndrome. In her blur-blur state, she instead grabbed a bottle of Betadine (iodine antispectic). It took her a while after the burning sensation set in that she noticed!! Aiyoh....

--
Regards,
William

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Certified!

FYI, KL Monorail is now ISO9001:2008 certified! One can now be assured that the frequent delays and technical glitches will be properly documented as part of their normal operations in their SOP. Yay for quality management!

--
Regards,
William

Monday, March 16, 2009

Where is the Nissin!?

I was at the Old Town Kopitiam-CIMB (some screwed up partnership, banking while you sip your nanyang kopi o, stupid) at Menara Hap Seng and I noticed that the Nissin noodles were missing from the new menu! What happened!? Call the police!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Momiji


The ball starting rolling when I bought SK a Momiji for VDay. Luca (the Momiji's name) was nicely packed in a colourful metal box with stickers and a button badge. She looks like Avril Lavigne with pink hair and a pair of headphones. Made of porcelein, she's heavy to the touch. Kinda like a blunt murder weapon. Hehe. At the bottom of each Momiji is a slot (not THAT kind of slot) that can be used to keep a secret message. Coincidentally, my Mei is somewhat of an insider in this whole Momiji business and was quite surprised that I suddenly showed interest in the collectibles. As a welcome gift, she sourced me a male Momiji that's not selling anywhere in the country. Hehe. Ollie's the name and he too has pink hair, but sports a skateboard on his back. SK reciprocated as well by getting me Silly-Billy, the white-haired cousin of Luca. She came packed in a cute inflated cushion and a cardboard carton. She's the more conventional type, Japanese and in a Kimono. Well, don't bother looking at Ollie and Silly-Billy's secret messages, I don't store my ATM pins there. :P

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Zoom!

Zoom! is the stupid campaign started by Tourism Malaysia to encourage
more people to have local holidays and increase foreign tourist
arrivals. One of their approaches include putting up posters in STAR
LRT cars, and boy, are those posters ugly and uninformative. I think a
lower secondary kid with Adobe Photoshop 6 could have done better.
They lack focus with poor composition, horrible choice of photos,
lousy picture quality and lack of cropping skills. For Frasers hill
they can just zoom on some random field with a few flower and expect
tourists to go wow? Other posters featuring eco-tourism merely
showcase some random riverbank and it just looked like an
anti-pollution poster. Good God! Lets go cuti-cuti Malaysia!

--
Regards,
William

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Keep It Short

Finally cut my hair on Saturday after Jr. gave me a puzzled look at the Pre-VDay party regarding my unruly mop of hair (yes, this is a flashback, at least I didn't blog about the party, :P). KK, my regular stylist gave me a weary stare--

KK: I'm tired of your current hairstyle. Let's do something new. Ready to shave off the sides?

Me: Err.... OK..

KK: Ohhh... my hands are itching to use the shaver! (revving the shaver with wild abandon, but not quite Edward Scissorhands la....)

With that, he shaved off the sides and a chopped the back, leaving a triangular chunk. After he styled my hair, I walked over to meet my mum and SK at the nearby organic shop.

Mum & SK: Wah!

Organic Shop Uncle: Something exploded on your head?

Me: -_-"

More negative comments awaited me at the office.

Colleague 1: Eh, why you cut so short la. I cannot accept la. Especially the back. Like samseng.

Me: -_-"

Client Big Boss: Your hair reminds me of when I was in primary school. You know when your hair is too long and the headmaster cuts it for you?

Me: -_-"

Well, it wasn't a disaster la, not like I'm not used to the Goku type hair. But my only complaint was that when I don't wax my hair, the heavier top slumps down the sides and it gives the impression of a UFO! But it's all back to normal ody thanks to my high hair growth rate!

Saturday, March 07, 2009

MelBob Squarepants II


MelWedding1
Swiped from williamnyk.
The next day, we woke up early and planned to attend mass at the nearby St. George Church only to find out at the last minute that it was an Anglican church. And so we scoured the tourist map to find an even nearer alternative-- The Cathedral of the Assumption, just beside St. Xavier's Institution. We made it for the 10:00am mass. It was an old church with the usual cross shape and vaulted ceiling, but what caught my eye was the checkered floor, two angels flanking the front door, the antique furniture, pipe organ and the confessional that was actually only a wooden partition surrounded by a metalwork of the Holy Spirit descending as a dove. Not many parishioners showed up, only 40% of the pews were filled (and so the monetary offering was also quite mini-sized). It was basically an opposition church-- during the sermon, the priest talked about passion and he linked it to Saudara Lim Kit Siang whom he said lives, breathes and bleeds politics. One of the communion ministers even wore an "I.S.A. Kejam!" button badge. At the end of the eucharistic celebration, the priest even commented about the situation in Perak and stressed the importance of justice and letting the people decide. The congregation clapped.

We walked back to the hotel to check out. Mel settled my room bill. Thanks! We visited her in her room for a while and found clothes strewn everywhere-- talk about malam pengantin baru! Lunch was found at Leboh Penang. Finally tasted the famous asam laksa and cendul opposite the police station. It was quite good, but I found the dessert a bit too sweet. The char kuey teow was so-so only, but the coffee was good. That was lunch #1. Lunch #2 was at Leboh Campbell for nasi kandar with Mel and gang. The pots of curries and kurmas were mouth-watering, but since we were so full, we only tried the kari kapitan. Mel's mum regaled us with embarrassing stories from Mel's childhood. :P. To burn the calories and time, we headed to Prangin Mall. Didn't know that it was the Sungei Wang of Penang. Mostly clothes, decorative items and shoes. I found one boutique with the name "PLU de Home", but the owner was a heptagenerian. After 6 hours there, I only bought a shirt and some socks from PDI. Dinner was found at the hawker stalls in the complex-- hokkien mee, fish head noodles and porridge. Took the cab to the airport (MYR40) and dound ourselves a tad too early-- 3 hours before flight time actually. So, we just loitered at each and every store we could find. Luckily, there were some Jap boys around that I could oogle. The journey back was uneventful.

The next day, SK and I sent the newly-weds to the airport for their honeymoon in Bali. I can't wait to have mine there!

P.S.: Penang drivers really LOVE to honk their horns! Pon! Pon!

Friday, March 06, 2009

Pulled In All Directions

I have recently put my foot on the accelerator in regards to my
financial planning, with Jaded Jeremy as my invaluable co-driver. So
far, he has evaluated my current situation and declared that I need to
cover the gaps in my insurance coverage before I dip into investment.
Therefore, I have been dealing with my current agent and trying to get
heads or tails about the 'right' choices to make. Things have been
confusing for me with jargon, concepts, benefits and premium tables
being thrown around that's alien to me. And I guess having a BF in the
related field only serves to muddle the situation further as he has an
alternate approach. Maybe one could say that too many cooks spoil the
soup. I'm on the verge of swearing off soup. Sigh. It's not that I
don't appreciate the input, but I suddenly feel overloaded with
information. At the end of the day, I can't expect people to make
decisions on my behalf, I'll just have to soldier on, I guess. Thanks
Jeremy and baby for the help. I'm sorry if I sound angry and
frustrated at times, it's just that I AM angry and frustrated. Haha.
But you guys never said it was easy. :p. Gambate!

--
Regards,
William

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Pregnant

In my feverish daze yesterday, I sent my blog post to the wrong
address, hence you're reading this right now. All is right again after
seeing two doctors, and I'll be trudging to work tomorrow after one
and half days of rest. I was super-bloated, felt like I had alien
queen in me, waiting to finish gestating and burst out of my abdominal
cavity. Well, it did burst out-- I barfed all over my living room
floor. I felt so much better after that, but pai seh that SK had to
clean that up. Thanks dear!

--
Regards,
William

Sunday, March 01, 2009

Yi Em Chai


UW I
Swiped from williamnyk.
Tagged, I was and here is the post. Tardy as usual. Hehe.
  1. As Apollo mentioned, I collect underwear and part of my collection is posted here for your viewing pleasure. I think I've been crazy about 'em ever since I was 7.
  2. I gained 8kg in the past year. :(. Stress and age?
  3. I came out at age 27.
  4. I lost my virginity at age 27.
  5. Took me 14 years to notice that my best friend was gay.
  6. I come from a national school background and only started speaking mandarin in university.
  7. I used to be terrified of driving.
  8. I can't ride a bicycle. Mine broke in half when I was 5 and I have never ridden on one ever since.
  9. I'm Roman Catholic convert. I was trying to reject my sexuality through religion, but in turn, I embraced both God and my sexuality.
  10. My father passed away of a myocardial infarction (heart attack lo) when I was 17.
  11. I'm an impatient bastard.
  12. I still work for the same IT company I joined after my graduation. I interned at the same company.
  13. I like wuxia movies.
  14. I mostly read fantasy novels. Sci-fi does not appeal. Non-fiction bores me.
  15. I have a sensitive throat. Hence, fried foods and durians are not my friends.
  16. I'm more afraid of the cold than of the heat.
  17. I like to count how many scoops of water I use when I bathe.
  18. I mark my calendar when I have sex or masturbate.
  19. I like paper crafts and I used to make my own candles. So Martha Stewart hor?
  20. I love to drink piping hot soup.
  21. My mother's mood greatly influences my mood.
  22. I have never bought a single original/bootleg music CD (for my own consumption) in my life.
  23. I've had a girl have a crazy crush on me.
  24. I have very short term memory and I'm bad with names.
  25. I have never gotten piss drunk.
There you go.

UW II
UW III