Kiros


closet door
Swiped from surlygrrrl.
Kiros. God's time. You can ask for whatever you want from God, tell him all your needs, demand that you get a sign... but God will just keep quiet. The world will go on, life will go on... you will still toil and wait for your deliverance. But when the time comes, and we are not ready, we get swept along in the torrent of chaos and order. As much as we plan things, as much we design, things don't always go our way. But we can always hope.

Some things we keep close to our hearts. Our deepest darkest secret. Our hopes and fears. Forever waiting and waiting to release it. We rehearse it. We build up the courage to say. But we falter. We stumble. We sputter. We stammer. But sometimes, when we least expect it, the contents of our hearts are tumbled out without warning. We are caught unaware. We stare in disbelief. But realization comes, and we catch this wave of honesty, we steel ourselves, our courage returns.

The truth shall set you free and yet that truth carries with it a heavy price. This is my cross to carry. I do not want to burden others with it. But no man is an island and if others must bear the weight of this cross as well, so be it. Though it pains me to see those around me suffer for it, I accept it. I embrace it. Be it a fresh wound with searing pain or a dull pain that you carry throughout the day, I accept it.

Tears come unbidden to my eyes. They pool at the bottom of my heart. I have not cried so since the day my father died. Since the day searched my soul and tried to be what I aren't. I need to be held. I long to be held. But it is the voice from afar that I have right now. Insubstantial, but the voice of comfort no less. Though I can't feel. Can't touch. My support. My rock. It will have to wait. My reassurance. My deliverance. My KH.

Kiros. God's time.

PS: Thank you for all the kind words of support and encouragement. Special thanks to SK and Mel. *hugs*.

Comments

Anonymous said…
its such a burden to keep something so deep within you, there's always a certain amount of relief when sharing it..
Anonymous said…
So cryptic. If i didn't know better, I wouldn't have guessed.

This is my cross to carry. I do not want to burden others with it.

No, I'm here to help you carry it. I want to help you carry it. You don't have to suffer alone ....

Tears come unbidden to my eyes. They pool at the bottom of my heart.

*wipes away the tears*

Remember, I am here always ...


KH
Anonymous said…
don't know what's going on but hope you're alright. take care

Cheers :)
Anonymous said…
When the hard time comes,we cant stop it.We do not know whether it is the best time or not for us to face it. We just need to accept.
Is easier for others to say than feel the pain by ourself.

Dont ever feel that is a burden to ur dearest frens as i will always help by side.To walk beside u. I felt bad as i can just watch from far. Can only giving my minimial support as not much i can give. Too long u are carrying it alone, i should have offered to carry long time ago...sorry. Let me help out now....i am always here.

Is not easy i know. I feel, i knew the pain. But... Lord is there, let him drive and steer your life into d position he favoured. You are a very best friend and you will be blessed always... Just need some time. I am sure...Be strong, my dear .. We still need support from each others...:)
Anonymous said…
Though we've never met, I'm no less than a friend. We are all here for you if you need us. That's what it's all about, no?

Stay strong, and SHINE!
savante said…
Wah. Deep and cryptic. But it's nice to know you still have friends who are there for you to wipe away your tears, right? :)

So smile.
MrBunnyBan said…
Hey there. Wish I knew what was going on. Take care and hope that things pan out.
Vengelyne said…
With this post of yours, I just HAVE to reply your email now, don't I?

Feel better, dude. *hugz*

It's TGIF!
William said…
@Mel:
Relief & Pain. Relief & Pain.

@KH:
You have lightened my heart more than you know. Thank you for being by my side.

@JL:
I'll pull through. Thanks.

@SK:
Thanks SK. It is true. A friend in need is a friend indeed. And you proven yourself to be a better friend than I can ever be.

@Zemien:
I will try. Thanks Zemien.

@Savante:
I do smile, doc. But a fake smile. I await the day I can smile from my heart again.

@Ban:
Thanks bunny. You're been around to help and support me. Thanks.

@Venge:
Quickly reply! :D
famil said…
my feeling exactly *sigh*
Little Prince said…
... i'm soooo lost...
you ok? well i'm sure you are... we are all going into a weird phrase... how bizarre... it's like some trend... HAHA... like recently everyone's sick... fever la etc... and the emo thing... gosh gosh... who sets this weird trend!!! LOLs

cheer up kay...
the treat is still on but give me time to find time!
;o)

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